- Wedding: October 2016 - Waldorf Astoria, Orlando
I don’t think the term “The other woman” is antiquated or sexist. I think it’s a pretty factual statement, but I catch your drift. It’s just weird to say, in general.
While I was cheated on, numerous times, by my ex… I have never been in the position of being “the other woman” but I have certainly known a few girls that have been.
My co-worker in college (an 18 year old, just graduated high school) was having an affair with her boss (38 years old) from her other job. She was a very sweet girl and had this delusion that the man was getting divorce, and that they were sneaking around so that his wife didn’t “win full custody of his son and take all of his money.”
I have a sneaking suspicion that that phrase has been repeated by cheating men before, because I have read about situations like that on other forums and in books.
I hadn’t had an issue with the girl and I genuinely felt bad for her. I knew she was being taken advantage of and that the picture he was painting for her was a fabrication.
She ended up with a life-long STD from this man (who took her virginity, by the way)… He never intended to get a divorce at all. In fact, the wife found out about her and came to her basically saying “He’s a liar. I’m not mad at you because you’re pretty much a child and he used you. Get tested for herpes.”
It really messed with her self esteem and trust. It was a devasting thing to witness.
I have also known girls in college who were sleeping with their friends or acquaintances boyfriends. While that is a totally different ballgame in terms of emotions.. I felt absolutely no sympathy for them when things blew up in their faces. They got all the drama they deserved for what they did. It was usually a purely sexual or self esteem thing, not romance… from what I understand, at least. I’ve even seen it done as a revenge thing.
To me, that is evil.
I think that being “the other woman” has a lot to do with both the self esteem of the people involved, in general.
Either that, or the man has lied to them completely and they have no idea. In those cases, I am sure it feels like they, too, were being cheated on.
Even if they came “second”.