(Closed) Have any of you ever been "the other woman"?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 76
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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DaisyBlossom:  it could happen to anyone who at the end of the day knows fully that the person they are seeing or starting to fall for is already taken…. I think it is so selfish to know that this person is taken but ohh well I’am going to put what I want first at any cost. I read where some women at a certain point thought well he is the one breaking the commitment of marriage I didn’t make the commitment.. While that is completely true… It is also completely true as a woman you must have respect for other women and in this instance yes you put another woman’s feelings and well being before your own. 

Post # 78
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

What does “taken” mean? 

How is a “partner” defined?

for me, if ya arent living in the same house, you are not partners, with some extenuating circumstances. But you may be in a “committed” relationship. But if the guy is t keeping to his c mitt,ent, and he’s not livng with a woman, Im not,so sure I would pay attention to his girlfriend’s idea of their committment.

 

Post # 79
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

Nattybee, YOU are a goddess of clarity and ethical hehavior. You goofed, you owned up to it, you stopped the behavior cold.

cool!

Post # 80
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

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aworldelsewhere:  awww sweetie, you gave us a laugh. We live and learn.

Post # 81
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Also to add… I had it done to me so I was on the receiving end and trust me it turned everything I knew upside down and once I finally spoke to one of the other women(there were three) whom knew he was married as it was a girl we both knew she admitted she did it to get at me. 

Post # 82
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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FauxPas2012:  and that is a perfect example of the mentality of selfish women… 

Post # 83
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My mom was the other woman. He divorced his wife and married my mom. They’ve been married 35 years without an problems. My dad was looking for a way out and my mom gave him a nudge so to speak. She felt guilty about it for years, though. 

Post # 84
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

Now I will say somethng that will be very unpopular, it is old fashion,, it is retro. Yes, I am old, here it comes:

One of the many upsides of getting married is that is a public declaration of committment. If your husband steps into that, it is a symbol to any hussy that he is not available. Sure there are exceptions such as agreed upon open marriages, separated-to-be-divorced men, etc. Also, they dont wear their marriage status as a brand, so how do ya really know their availability? Haha.

But, marriage is important. i say that to a legion of women who dont think it is important. They tend not to hang out here on this website, however.

Post # 85
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

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Mandy0721:  but help me out, practically speaking.

If I meet some guy and he is not living with anyone, and I even ascertain that he’s not married, He’s not fair game for dating? If he has a dating relationship with somene else that he doesnt honor as exclusive, and he admits to that, who am I to convnce him he should be exclusve with some else?

What IS the litmus test, then? I don’t get it, exactly.  

 

 

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Post # 86
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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FauxPas2012:  I mean would you really want a dick that might have just been in another chicks v-jay an hour ago? 

Post # 87
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was. I knew it. I’m not proud of it but I don’t regret it. I thought it was the best I could do. When I met my husband, who treated me like a cherished gf (and now wife) and never put me second, I appreciated him a lot more.

He was a good friend in a complicated baby mama situation. I fell for him. He told me the usual it’s all about the kid. They went on a break and we slept together then. They at some point got back together. i don’t know if she ever knew.

I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of it but I do think they were on the rocks and he wasn’t bsing me about that. Because of work they didn’t live together and their big conflict was her taking their daughter for overnights without consulting him. His family, who had been his daughter’s daytime caregivers, told me she had burned through their goodwill.

It wasn’t my finest moment, but I don’t think I’m a horrible person for it. If I didn’t learn and kept repeating my mistakes, maybe yes.

Post # 88
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

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Mandy0721:  see, I don’t  think “dating” or going out with a man necessarily means sex. I would date several people–if I had the opportunity–at the same time. I see nothng wrng with that. I wasnt nto seial monogomy when I was single, and I kept thngs light for a while until we both agreed to be exclusive.

Post # 89
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

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chrissybee:  If he was separated when you met I wouldnt consider you the other woman. Ive been there in your situation and that boyfriend went on to get divorced, no problem, and 

i didnt cause the separation let alone  the divorce. No chldren were nvolved, that would have given me the heehie jeepbies.

Post # 90
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

I sort of was, for a brief period of time. He was a high ranking boss at a place I had just started working at. He started following me on twitter, and then coming to my office to chat and give me little projects to do. Then he would private message me after work hours on twitter and we’d message a bit if one or the other had a few drinks in us. It took at least a few weeks for me to even find out he was married. He was about 15 years older than I was.

We started carpooling as we both had about an hour commute, and he’d talk about how his marriage was failing and his wife didn’t understand him (typical lines, haha). It never went further than flirting. My contract got switched to another office and he organized a goodbye lunch and paid for me and we sat with our legs touching. I was very aware the whole time that what I was doing was wrong.

The place I started working was the same office his wife worked in, which was awful, and he would drive her to work so we could say hi in the parking lot after she went in. Eventually it just faded. I got together with my fiance not long after this, and the guy and his wife split up very soon afterwards and he asked me on a date but I obviously said no. Anyways, my fiance knows all this, but I still feel guilty about his wife, even though I heard she was cheating on him and is remarried now.

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