Post # 1
I was raised Catholic and I’m happy to say I’m a reborn Christian. I heard that Baptists are very conservative and very modest. I mean my pastor wants to approve all of the wedding dresses mine and the bridesmaids before I buy them. Which is okay. I mean I don’t want my bridesmaids to look inappropriate during the ceremony. My questions was concerning the reception, is it okay to have a DJ and “Dance” the night away? I watched this show on TLC 18 kids and counting where the bride and the groom were baptist and the rule was “no booze, no dancing”. We’re kinda afraid to ask the pastor because we are worried he will say this. We really want all of the traditional things at our reception like the first dance,the money dance.. So are baptist allowed to dancing at the reception???
Post # 3
On TLC’s 18 Kids and counting they do not dance because of their religious beliefs…Not all baptists are like that. My dad is a baptist preacher and he has never asked to see the brides or bridesmaids dresses but he does want them to remember they are getting married in the house of God. I think that the most important thing is what you and your Fiance want to have. There will be no drinking at our reception because my Fiance does not drink but I am thinking about having a DJ or live band so we can dance to come clean music…I have been to baptist receptions were there was a lot of dancing…so the dancing should be okay, as long as it does not conflict with your religious views….
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
I have been to many a Southern Baptist wedding, and I’ve never been to one with dancing or alcohol. It probably depends on your church AND the location of your reception. If your reception is in church facilities, you may be a bit more restricted. Definitely ask your pastor.
Post # 5
There is a difference between being baptist and being a Southern baptist. A southern baptist is, traditionally, what you’re speaking of–conservative clothing, no drinking, no dancing, etc. But baptists in general aren’t an issue I think. I’ve been to quite a few weddings in baptist churches that have a regular reception with music and everything. Has he given you guidelines for the dresses? Like they need sleeves, etc, or just that he wants to make sure they aren’t skanky or anything? 99% of wedding gowns aren’t skanky, but if you are getting married in a southern baptist church, they like you to cover up a lot. modest wedding dresses, etc. sleeves. higher necklines, that kind of stuff
Post # 6
It definitely depends on the Church. I went to college in the Bible Belt, and went to many Baptist weddings, very few of them were no drinking, there was dancing at all of them. You are just going to have to be up-front with your pastor, and ask him what you are allowed… A Baptist pastor is performing my ceremony in May, and he is alright with everything and anything.
Post # 7
Not all baptists are that legalistic. No where in the Bible does it say not to do either of them. It actually says you shouldn’t drink to drunkeness and it tells you to dance and rejoice in about 200 places.
The reason for no dancing is because it can be construed as pleasureful ot sexually tempting.
I was raised in a Baptist church and went to a high school with the same beliefs. Since its not actually a biblical commandment, just someones interpritation, I feel that’s its a personal choice. My pastor feels the same.
Post # 8
I’m (Independent fundmentalist)_Baptist. Our wedding reception won’t be on the church grounds. We’re still not sure if we want to serve alcohol or not. I don’t. Thanks for all the replies. I will try to gain the courage to ask the pastor. I’m sure he’s mostly concerned with the ceremony portion of our wedidng. I just didn’t want to be like rebuked or something like that.
Post # 9
Don’t be afraid to ask your pastor! You can’t be blamed for not knowing something like this, particularly as you weren’t raised in the faith and the rules vary from congregation to congregation. He’ll probably be happy that you cared to ask and are committed to living by your beliefs.
Post # 10
I was in a Baptist wedding in the western US and there was no dancing or drinking. So it’s definitely depends on the church! Just check with the pastor and see what the church “rules” are about that kind of stuff. Good luck!
Post # 11
A lot of criteria. If the pastor is wanting to “approve” the dresses, I’d say it’s a fairly conservative wedding. The best best is to come right out and ask the pastor.
Post # 12
If the reception is someplace other than the church, you are certainly welcome to both drink and dance. If it’s at the church, you will need to speak with the pastor to find out what their rules are. Southern Baptist are more legalistic than other Baptist churches (Reformed Baptist, Independent Baptist, etc.), but each one has their own doctrines and guidelines, so you will need to check.
Post # 13
I agree with everyone else that it depends on the pastor. I’m a baptist and at my old church the pastor didn’t allow drinking or dancing but at my current church I’m pretty sure the pastor doesn’t really care.
Post # 14
If your reception is on church grounds, alcohol and dancing are both probably prohibited. Nearly all modern Baptists have moved past restrictions on dancing, but the rule on dancing on church grounds is still on the books in many churches. All the Baptist weddings I have attended had a reception off-site which included dancing and even some alcohol.
Post # 15
I married my xh in a Baptist church (he was, I’m Methodist). We had a beautiful ceremony and the only thing that had to be approved was the music, and it was secular that I used and it was from Phantom of the Opera (back in 1996). Also a song from “Jekyll and Hyde” was sung as well.
At my reception, we had a dj and dancing and champagne, wine, and beer at our wedding. I didn’t want liqour served though back then. Held at the Hyatt. It was great too.
I think imho there are subsets of the Baptist denomination that are different however, with the hair not being cut, only wearing dresses, no dancing, no drinking, etc. That church I married the x in was pretty progressive for a Baptist church imho. And when it came time to divorce him, my minister gave me the ok 100 percent as did my Sunday school teachers too.
I also btw, went to a Baptist school from 1st to 12th grade. Now THAT was strict. My friends at Catholic school used to tell me my school was strict! lol!
Post # 16
Hola yall! – baptist minister’s daughter here:
I am also from the south – there are different forms of southern baptist as well by the way.
interesting how someone brought up the Duggars – i totally thought they were mormon when first saw their show – but apparently they are ULTRA conservative baptist. and NO not all baptists are like that.
for MOST baptists if your wedding and reception are in the church or on church grounds, you most likely will not be allowed to have alcohol, and dancing is iffy depending on the congregation. (keep in mind often other non baptists are known to sneak alcohol in the parking lot at functions such as these)
for instance my father and mother had a dry reception and it was just a meal no dancing.
but each to their own. for instance, my sisters wedding a few years ago, we had the ceremony in the church, had a church reception for the church folk immediately after the wedding at the church reception hall then had a second reception with other friends and family where there was dinner dancing and a limited bar (which my father refused to pay for so my sister and i paid for). i still laugh because my sister wanted to be “different” and get married in a traditional indian wedding dress since she looooves indian culture, and i had to talk her out of it lest the old ladies from the church have heart attacks with the bare middrift and red on a bride going down the aisle.
for my wedding i am getting married at a historical chapel, with a reception at a golf club. dad doesnt have a problem with it, but he wont be drinking obviously. but i do drink, so its okay for me. My FH and i are paying the bill for the alcohol.
bottom line, each church is different. and there are SOME things that are universal for every baptist church, but most preachers nowadays are flexable. also goes for the attire, some baptist churches you have to have your head and shoulders covered (when i was little we wore bonnets and hats in church) and women didnt wear pants (didnt wear pants until i went to public school at the end of 3rd grade) but nowadays its more relaxed.
ask your preacher what he deems acceptable for the church. often women will have a shawl or jacket to wear in church if they have issues with bare shoulders and can take it off for an off site reception. or even some jewish sects have modesty gowns where they have sleeves that go past the elbows and high collars. so just ask he will im sure be more than happy to let you know what is acceptable for your specific church! 🙂