(Closed) Have Anyone had there father disagree with them getting married?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7038 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Interesting. I did not have this problem, but that is partly because I would have been wildly offended if my husband had asked my father for his blessing. To me, marriage is a personal and adult decision, and asking my father implys that I do not have ownership of my own future. It’s not my father’s choice who I marry – it is mine.

The best advice I can give you on the culture clashes between your families is to take a stand for you and your husband-to-be. A lot of what the process of a wedding is about is setting boundaries to establish and protect you two as a new fledgling family. It isn’t about what others want, it’s about the path the two of you choose to go down together. Nobody else gets to choose that for you, and you definitely shouldn’t be letting their own wishes overshadow what you want for yourself in your life. They don’t have to live with your choices. You do.

Post # 4
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well honestly, that’s what happens when you involve an extra opinion into a situation. Your Fiance and you wish to marry but you decided that you needed your father’s permission.  He won’t give it to you.  Your options are to listen to your father’s wishes, try to work it out and give it time or to be an adult and do what you want.  Doing anything besides listening to your father’s wishes kind of negates the entire point of asking for permission, imo.

Post # 5
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m in a LDR and we met online, my dad doesn’t even think it’s a real relationship. I’m still hoping he’ll come around.

Post # 6
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My dad told me that I couldn’t get married because he wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle. My dad hasn’t been around for 7 years (I’m 21-so since I was 14.) and my fiance asked my mom’s blessing, which is what I wanted him to do. I told my dad I was getting married and he could be happy or he didn’t have to be. 

Post # 9
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i’m so sorry that you’re going through this difficulty. i unfortunately know this very well.

i’m 24, and my BF of 28 and i have plans to get engaged in the next few months. my parents are very conservative, and i would never have dreamt of being proposed to without my father’s blessing. my BF, who is the most wonderful, stable, compassionate and patient man, knew this and even had money aside to buy plane tickets to see my dad in person (tickets that would have cost him 1000 dollars). 

turned out my dad didn’t want him to come and just wanted to communicate via email, and long story short, BF didn’t get his approval or blessing. 

i’ve always been a family girl and my parents’ approval meant everything to me growing up and even now, so this is really difficult for me. but in the end, i’m the one who will be married to him, not my parents. i’m hoping that they will come around at some point, but for the moment i’m standing firm and going ahead with our plans, because i know it’s absolutely the right thing for us. 

sorry to have gone on, just wanted to say i’m sorry because i know this is hard, but you’re not alone!

Post # 10
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@julieblessed:  My father was insulted that my fiance didn’t ask his permission too…which is weird 

I left home at 15 and married at 17–my father was wholeheartedly for the wedding though, he even had to sign paperwork since I was underage

That husband turned out to be a scum, and I left him after 6 years of marriage and started dating my current fiance shortly thereafter–we had been friends for a couple of years though


My dad likes my fiance a lot and they get along really well—he actually worked for my dad before we were together but quit right after we started dating because he felt like it would be an awkward situation…..I think my father is just wary to accept a new son-in-law after my first marriage ended badly


So even though I come from a less traditional background, I can see how a parent might be reluctant to give his blessings for another marriage after he saw that you were mistreated by your last husband—but he will get over it, its just an overprotective thing


I chose to ignore my fathers criticism and he has since come around—I’m an adult, he doesn’t have any control over my life

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