(Closed) Have bridesmaids or not?

posted 10 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Do I have to have bridesmaids, and if so do they have to match?
    Yes, you have to have bridesmaids and they have to match. : (0 votes)
    Yes, you have to have bridesmaids, but they don't have to match. : (0 votes)
    No, you don't HAVE TO do anything. : (25 votes)
    100 %
    Other, I'll comment below. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    7 posts
    • Wedding: June 2009

    You most definately don’t HAVE to have bridesmaids, and if you do have them, they don’t need to match.  I’m thinking about the same thing.  Either I have just my sister, or I have 6, because there is no way to pick and choose fromthose five friends.  I have no idea what I want to do, so i’m looking forward to hearing what others will say.  If you want to bring the two cultures together, just have a few close friends dress nice stand up for you. 

    Post # 4
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    I was in the same boat as suzeq it was either just my maid of honor or 5 bridesmaids – I went with just the one maid of honor and my Fiance has 2 best men – so we are uneven. In my brother’s wedding, my (now) SIL asked me, her sister and her good friend to ‘stand up’ with her 2 days before the wedding. None of us matched and it didn’t matter at all, it was a beautiful wedding. No one said anything about the fact one of us was in green, one in black and white and the other in a cotton sundress with lobsters on it! If it doesn’t matter to you that everyone matches or there are different numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen or no one standing with you at all, then do what will make you and your Fiance happy.

    I think of it less as a ‘bridesmaid’ or ‘groomsmen’, and more of just asking those closest to you to stand with you and support your marriage.

    Post # 6
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    MY Fiance and I are having our sons (5 and 16) stand up with us for the ceremony, and not having BM/GM.  We are having a small guest list (about 60 people) and it felt like if we had them, 1/3 of our guest list would be standing up with us!  Good luck with your decision.

    Post # 7
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    We’re not having a bridal party AT ALL. I can’t choose among my friends! No matter what the "wedding industry" says you don’t HAVE to do anything! Don’t be afraid to say no to something if you don’t like it! 🙂

    Post # 8
    2365 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I am choosing to have no bridesmaids! I just want my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and he will pick a best man. I honestly don’t need the help from bridesmaids, and I want everyone to have so much fun and not worry about "working" on the wedding day.

    Fiance and I both want a more intimate wedding, so this just kind of fits! Plus I will still have everyone that I want at my wedding, why make people feel like they’re working? I hate that.

    Post # 9
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-weight: bold”>caitlin, there is certainly no requirement to have BM’s nor to have anyone look the same.  But what I’m not getting is how you feel.  This is your wedding as well as his, and if a somewhat more traditional American Bridal Party is important to you, then I think you ought to work out a compromise.  I’m having everyone wear diffrent dresses of your choosing from the same designer in the same fabric and color.  There are several threads where people discuss picking a color family and having their Bridal Party choose any dress at all.  I don’t think having BM’s wear, say a green (or whatever color) dress of their choosing while the men wear dark (or light) suits of their choosing will look unbalanced, but it might give you something closer to a more American style of Bridal Party

    Basically, there are a million ways to do this, but I think the most important is that everyone be happy with what they are choosing.  If a Bridal Party is important to you, maybe you can find a way to have some uniformity without exactly having it all matchy matchy.  If you are okay with people being dressed completely differently, that’s okay too, of course…but make sure you are.  I’m getting the impression that a bit more uniformity will matter to you, so see what you and your Fiance can work out. 

    Post # 10
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We’re not having a bridal party either.  However, if you wanted bridesmaids and your Fi didn’t want any groomsmen, I don’t see a problem with just having females in the bridal party.  Or you could compromise another way by having the people you would have included in the bridal party still walk down the aisle in a processional, but not actually stand next to you during the wedding.  Then, they could still come up to sign as witnesses and whatnot, but they wouldn’t have to match in any way.

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