(Closed) Have Gifts, But No Giver?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We received a $200 set of dishes 2 days before the wedding with no card or invoice in the box. I stalked BB&B for months after the wedding to try and tell me who sent it and no matter what they did they said they couldn’t find that information. I posted statuses on facebook and tried to track down people off the guest list. I have still not found out who sent the dishes, and when I think about it I feel disgusted with myself that I was never able to send a thank you note. In fact, I need to stop writing about this because it’s making me upset lol. I don’t know what you can do aside from the things I tried – if they were bought off a registry see if the store can tell you, post something on facebook, or try calling people. While posting on facebook was NOT my first choice because it can be tacky, I felt like I was running out of options and had no chioce! This may be something you need to consider also since you don’t want people to think you’re making them feel guilty if they didn’t give you a gift.

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You may still receive the 4 gifts off the registry that were bought. 

As far as the 17 people who didn’t give gifts – you cannot ask them if they gave a gift. You have to just send a thank you note to everyone, and ask your one friend (gift will bring back memories) about her gift specifically. 

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@BetterSherm:  They actually told me the 1300 times I inquired that they had no way of seeing this information. Or that too much time had passed for them to access it. I don’t know, but they certainly gave me a run around. 

Post # 9
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BetterSherm:  Ugh. How frustrating! Honestly, although I generally hate to include Facebook on anything wedding related, I would suggest as PPs have… post the issue and hope someone tells you it was their gift. Maybe something with a picture of it like..

We received this lovely vase at our wedding! Unfortunately, the tag seems to have come loose and we have no idea who gave it to us. We’d love to be able to personally thank the generous gifter, so if you know who it is, please let us know!

Post # 11
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MexiPino:  I think this wording is great. I don’t like posting wedding stuff on Facebook, either, but I’d rather be able to properly thank the gift giver.

Post # 12
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BetterSherm:  Oh yeah… general. Well, I’d make a “custom” list on FB including only the people who were invited to the wedding and post to that. But I wouldn’t TAG people and definitely wouldn’t message directly because, as others have said, it would only make people who didn’t give you a gift uncomfortable. 

Post # 13
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What a nightmare!  I know of other brides who dealt with this by sending thank you notes to all the people who attended their wedding, even the ones for whom they had no record of a gift.  (They simply thanked them for attending and said how much they enjoyed celebrating with them.)  Then, the people who received a thank you note with no mention of the gift they gave followed up with them (or their parents) to ask if the gift was received.  I thought this was a discrete and gracious way to solve the mystery!

Post # 14
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@vorpalette:  Thanks. Yeah.. this is a sticky situation. But I think it’s the best way to find out who gave it to her. Hopefully even if the person isn’t on FB, maybe their child or someone knows “Oh yeah, Aunt Susie got that for her” and can point OP in the right direction.

I am kind of waiting to see if more than one person claims it though. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BetterSherm:  LOL it is.. and I don’t think I’m using the right terms. Basically, you can limit who sees your posts two ways.

If you have more friends who were NOT invited to the wedding: Go to the profile of a friend who WAS at the wedding. Hover over the “Friends” button and “add to list”. Scroll down to “New List” and make a “wedding” list. Then go to each profile of wedding guests and add them to that same list. Before you hit “post” on the status about the gift, click the “friends” button. There’s a drop down menu, pick “See all lists”, then choose “wedding”. Only people who are on your “wedding” list will  see that update.

If you have more friends who WERE invited to the wedding: Instead of taking the time to go to each profile and add them to a wedding list, you can choose to exclude specific people (or lists) from an individual post. Before hitting “post” click the “friends” button and choose “custom”. That will pop up a window where there’s an option to fill in names under “Don’t share with”. You can list individual people, or whole lists. 

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