- 5 years ago
So – since I last posted, after lots of talking and thinking, my boyfriend and I have gotten ENGAGED! We’re both really happy, he’s full-on into wedding planning (?!) and it’s all good. 🙂
There’s just one thing though, and I’d love your help to see whether I’m jumping to the wrong conclusion. I have a best friend, who has been there for me through many difficult times: losing my job, family conflict, and yes problems with my boyfriend. Things between my boyfriend I were not great for a few months, and maybe I told my friend too much. Mind you, she went through the same thing with her now-fiance prior to getting engaged, and they have been doing really well ever since. I’ve tried to be a good friend to her and put in an equal amount of effort into our friendship. For the record, my friend is great – intelligent, pretty, charming but she can also be very highly-strung and easily threatened.
The situation: she and her guy got engaged in early summer 2012. Their wedding is in late summer 2013.
I got engaged in December 2012. We’re getting married in a very small ceremony in March, because one of SO’s parents is very ill. The reception is in the summer, to let people plan ahead. So turns out my reception is actually before hers. And no, I did not do this on purpose – it was the date the venue was free.
Now, when I emailed her to tell her of my engagement, she said congrats, but that it was the biggest surprise of the year. Then, when she found out we were getting married in the spring, she tried to talk me into prolonging the engagement, since it was such a special time, etc. For my part, I’ve never wanted a long engagement, and SO’s mother is really not well (I’d already told her this).
Since then she’s hardly been in touch. I did enthusiastically email her the details of the ceremony (including the fact that I was paying for her accommodation) and just got a “Ok, cool.” back. She’s usually a lot more wordy in her emails. No phone call, no offers to help, nothing.
This is not like her. We’ve been in regular (every other day at the least) touch for most of our friendship. Although we did have a falling out over a very stupid reason a few months ago, for which we both apologised, she’s not been as forthcoming since.
Am I misreading the situation – is she concerned that I’m rushing things (we’ve both been with our SOs for 3-4 years) or is she feeling wierd that I’m ‘stealing her thunder’ in some way? Our guest lists will not overlap at all.
What should I do? Any insight greatly appreciated!