(Closed) Have set a walk date.

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

You shouldn’t have taken him back without a ring. Having your mother chat with him about this is a bad idea.. if conversations, a breakup and moving out didn’t produce a ring, I doubt mom stepping in to grill him will. It’s inappropriate. I don’t know how close your mother and your guy are. But if they’re not normally  close I wouldn’t advise it. Either way good luck with whatever you decide. 

Post # 5
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

@VikingPrincess:  you say you don’t even believe he has a ring. Are u 100% sure he doesn’t? Or is this overall just a trust issue.

Post # 6
Member
4314 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If this is seriously the case, I wouldn’t even wait until July.

Post # 8
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think walking without clarifying to him what the ramifications are is a poor choice. Communication is more important than a deadline in a relationship.

Post # 10
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

@VikingPrincess:  I agree with not telling him the exact date. I think when u tell a date it turns into an ultimatum, not a walk away.

 

Prior to my walk date I didn’t tell him when I would be leaving. But I did have a come to Jesus talk with him.  When no action was taken by him, it was obvious he didn’t take that conversation seriously. Made it a little easier to walk. Maybe one more final talk with him? And see what he does next 

 

Post # 11
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Best of luck – I think you will know the right thing to do when the time comes to do it. I agree that another talk of some sort might be beneficial, if only so he knows how you are feeling about things.

Post # 12
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@crayfish:  I do agree.

On this one, I won’t disagree with walking because you are 35, but what if he plans on proposing in August? I think he should know

Post # 13
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Would you consider getting engaged/married before getting a ring? Because what if he truly is trying to save up for a ring. Engagement rings are not cheap. Especially if you want a diamond. Is it about getting the ring or actually being married? Maybe he could get you something temporary until he could afford a ring?

Post # 14
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m 37, so I see you point! I had been with my SO for 2 years and living with him for 6 months when I had the talk with him. Six months later, he is almost ready (he says), but if he hadn’t, I would have had to walk too… At our age, it is a whole other game, no time for silly waiting games! But as another bee pointed out, maybe he should know a little ahead that you are planning to leave, just in case. But I think that if he got you back in January and he hasn’t done anything yet regarding getting engaged, he owes you at least an explanation or a timeline, don’t you think? I don’t know, I’m not in your life, but you already agreed to come back with him, and he didn’t hold his part of the deal, seems it is a good reason to ask questions and get answers (clear answers)!

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