(Closed) Have some tact, yes he is MINE! (Vent)

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 48
240 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you should take too much offense to it. I would wonder the same thing, but it is more of a general curiousity than meant to be offensive. I like to people watch, I like to learn about other people, I sometimes like to guess what other people’s “stories” are because I like learning about others. 

I think that you should give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just curious. Most likely you will continue to get questions, but I think if you have a paradigm shift of “Oh, this person is being rude!” to “Oh, I can use this as a moment to educate someone about their ignorance” or whatever, then it won’t be so frustrating 🙂 

Post # 50
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@babypearls:  I am so sorry this happened to you! Same thing happens to my close friend all the time… her baby is very dark-skinned (her husband is african-american and she is israeli) and she gets asked all of the time if she’s the NANNY! ridiculous. 

I just don’t even know what I would come back with! 

Post # 51
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m half asian (but look completely like my other half) and as a kid I remember going out with my mom and people would ask her if I was her daughter. When she replied “yes” they had a shocked expression and responded “really?!”. 


oh how I love people 🙂 haha

Post # 52
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

People can be such morons… This happened to my mom and dad when I was a kid. My mom is from Africa, my dad is Irish and Polish. My dad would hang around the car we would be sitting in (to smoke and stretch) and people would think he was attempting to kidnap us (I think the cops were called a few times). People thought me and my younger sister were my mom’s stepkids or that she was our nanny (we are much lighter than her). 

Please, do not let idiots steal your joy. This is exactly what you think it is, you are not imagining this. This may continue to happen to you. Try to laugh at it, and make snide comments in response to shut people down if necessary. Folks need to mind their own business. My son is super light but we look just alike as far as features are concerned, so I have never been questioned about it. If I was a few shades darker, I am sure the story would be different… Congrats on your baby. I would say, yes he is mine, isn’t he beautiful?! And walk off smiling, though… Good luck!

Post # 53
963 posts
Busy bee

@babypearls:  It’s possible it had nothing to do with skin colour and more to do with how young you looked? Or how good your figure looked?

Anyway, babies can be born lighter and they may get darker as they get older. A friend of mine is black and her husband is white. I saw the baby about 2 hours after she was born and she looked like a white baby. Now at age 1 her skin is more tan now. 


Post # 55
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

View original reply
@HonoraryNerd:  That happens to me too. If I’m watching my nieces or nephews and someone says how cute they are or anything I just say thank you, but if they start asking actual questions then I mention that they aren’t mine. It doesn’t bother me when people assume my niece or nephew are mine (they probably look quite a bit like me) but it used to bug me when people thought my little brother (who is ten years younger than me) was my son when I used to watch him as a teenager. I wondered how old they thought I was to have a kid that age?

Post # 56
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

 This used to happen to two friends of my mother all the time except people would not assume the kids were not the mother’s but that they were not their husbands! Basically accusing my mother’s friends of cheating!

One had two daughters one looked just like her (white) and one looked like her husband who was Colombian, people always assumed the daughter who looked like her mother was from a previous relationship or just not her husband’s child.

Another one had two sons both who had dark brown hair like her and her husband (both white) and then they have their third son – he’s blonde with blue eyes. People thought she cheated on her husband! She would explain that blonde hair and blue eyes do run in both their families, it’s a recessive trait though so the chances are less (roughly 25%) but it’s still possible! Plus as he got older his hair got daker.

Seriously, people need to mind their own buisness sometimes! However, in cases like yours I can agree with PPs that it might have just been a general no thought to it at all question…I know my Future Sister-In-Law has been asked this and her son looks a lot like her, it’s usually just an opening for people to talk more about him once they verify that it is her son and she’s not just babysitting or something.

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