(Closed) have the wedding of our dreams? or settle??

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well i saw this on a t.v. show one time.  But this one couple found out they were pregnant,so they had to get married,to not upset the parents.  So they had a small civil wedding, after they had the baby, they had a huge “dream” wedding event.  What if you did something like that?

 

Otherwise, my opinion may not matter much since i’m not christian,but I would go ahead and move in now and get married later.  Besides, you can learn alot more about your partner before you finally tie the knot together.

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I suggest getting married now and do the best you can, and then after you are married, plan a vow renewal with the wedding of your dreams.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

what if you married now and planned the wedding of your dreams for a year from now – giving you time to save and plan?

personally when i was ready to commit to my hubby it was about the marriage and not the wedding – i wouldnt wait a year but thats just me

 

Post # 6
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Is it possible that family memebers could help you plan and contribute towards the wedding of your dreams?

If not, then I would go ahead and get married and then plan a really nice renewal for a few years down the road.  I know how you feel about the whole – I have to live with him now – I feel guilty for having sex before we’re married.  You need to get it done so you don’t have that guilt and you need to do it so you don’t fall into lying to those you love or other things. 

Post # 7
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

you’re going to live together the rest of your lives – what’s the rush? a year goes by pretty fast

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hope you dont mind me sharing as I have had a similar experience.

My dad is a baptist minister and I have grown up with the christian church all my life. Met my FH who happens to have grown up as a Jehoviahs Witness.

We decided to move in together as we couldnt wait either… I went through misery for about 2 months at the fear of dissapointing my parents… I could barely talk to them. I hadnt been going to church for the last two years tho and my parents were respectful of my decision to not go.

FH proposed One week after we moved in together.. and everything with my parents.. went to fine. Once they knew we were getting married they were ok. However FH and i suffered backlash from friends of family, who have all since turned the coin and are now welcoming. We will been engaged 13 months before we get married and it will be great to have a decent wedding. There is no way I could plan a wedding in 5 months. I would turn into a nutter.

Do whats best for you and what you can life with. However I wish I waited in regards to my parents. On the otherside its been great living with my FH.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

Get married now, and if you’re still longing for your “dream wedding” then have a vow renewal on your first (or later, when ever you can afford it) anniversary.

Post # 11
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree… why not have a small civil/church wedding and then for your one year anniversary, throw an anniversary party?

Also, have you tried every option to make the most out of your budget? Can either of you cut back and save a little more? Friendors? Craigslist vendors? I think you could do it for $5000! My “dream wedding” would have cost me $15,000 but I doubt it will even cost $8,000 thanks to me researching things that I can do/save on to get better deals and still have the SAME look!

Post # 14
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow 5K for just the reception venue…that BIG. I would think you could find another place that’s fabulous that’s a faction of the cost. I can’t even imagine how expensive the food cost at that place.

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well I’m a fan of doing what YOU want to do, not just doing what your parents want to do b/c they’ll be disappointed. Parents get disappointed in lots of things; they have to realize they raised you and you have to make the decisions that are right for YOUR life, not theirs.

However I Fully understand b/c i have lots of friends in the same situations. It’s just hard to watch them still be under the thumbs of their parents, even though they are adults and they are only doing what their mom and dad want them to do to please them. In the process they make THEMSELVES unhappy. I’d rather make mom and dad unhappy/upset for a short period of time (they’ll get over it, they ALWAYS do!) than myself.

After all, YOU want to live with him and are ok wth it. And your sex life is none of their business, so keep it between you and the birds and the bees =]

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