have to invite children, REALLY don't want to

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 47
7000 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m really not sure why everyone is giving the OP such hell about her vision for her wedding. Plenty of you love kids at a wedding, and that’s totally fine. Have all the kids you want at yours. The OP doesn’t want kids at her wedding, she shouldn’t be made to feel like shit about it.

I did not want, nor did I have kids at my wedding. It’s a wedding deal-breaker for me and I would have not had a big wedding if it meant having kids in attendance. I’d have gone and had a destination wedding or something of the sort. I personally do not enjoy kids at a wedding. I admit I’m likely biased about that though. Everyone here is saying that they never see kids be a disruption and you’re lucky….but I’m a wedding photographer. I attend more weddings in one year than most people do in a lifetime and I can tell you that rarely is there a wedding with kids where they are not a disruption of some kind.

The problem isn’t kids, because kids are just acting like they regularly would. The problem is parents and their inability to corral or redirect their children when they’re being a disruption. Everyone seems to think their little Susie is the cutest thing to ever grace a dance floor and frankly it’s generally annoying to everyone else. I don’t hate kids, I love them, and am currently pregnant. I just don’t think kids belong at formal events until they are old enough to sit in a chair and behave.

Post # 48
2014 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I can’t stand kids at wedding. Each time they have been at a wedding I have attened they cried during the vows, I was Maid/Matron of Honor and couldn’t hear them. Kid on the dance floor grabbed my ass. I have tripped on them because they aren’t paying attention, I have knocked them over because they are stand RIGHT  next to me. I don’t think kids belong at weddings. 

With that said, I’m in the same boat as you. I have to invite kids or I will look like a bitch. It’s just not done in his family. If I was you, and it’s in your budget, hire someone to watch the kids. 

Post # 49
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I’m glad you made a decision you feel comfortable with.  I think if you had gone ahead with inviting kids just to appease family you would have ended up regretting it.  (And I get it, because I also would very much like an 18+ wedding.)

Post # 50
1145 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve seen some pretty atrocious behavior from kids at weddings. From using their fingers to touch all of the buffet food to screaming during the ceremony. 90% of the kids are always pretty well behaved but there’s always one or two trouble makers. They’re kids, I get their behavior is unpredictable but I also understand where you are coming from. Especially since you know these kids are not going to be on their best behavior as evident from their behavior at a recent funeral. 

If you decide to compromise, which is what marriage is all about, I like the PPs idea of setting up a kids corner and passing out coloring books and quiet activities so the kids are good during the ceremony. 

Post # 51
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

It’s your wedding speak to your fiancée about it. He should understand how you feel. 

Fir our wedding I couldn’t picture not having our nieces and nephews there nothing was more important to me then having everyone there.

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