(Closed) Have to invite Mom's boyfriend's kids?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I say you don’t have to invite them.

Post # 4
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Do you now or do you plan to spend holidays with mom’s boyfriend’s kids?  If the answer is yes I say to invite them in order to avoid hurt feelings that may bubble over at the holidays for years to come.

Same question regarding Dad’s FI’s kids.

Also, you could save everyone a headache by asking your mom and dad what they think as well.  I personally would be more concerned with what my parents thought was appropriate but I have a super close relationship to both of my parents.

*I invited both of my stepsisters even though we didn’t grow up together and we only see each once every few years.

Post # 5
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

If they were minors and living in the house, I would say yes, but becuase they are adults, no, no you don’t.

Post # 6
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

You do not have to invite his children, even if they are minors. 

ETA: This should be moved to the ‘Etiquette’ section.

Post # 7
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you can get away with not inviting them, because it will be a Destination Wedding. To an in-town wedding with like 120 ppl invited, I would have said yes, you have to.

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Just the couples, you mom and her boyfriend. You dad and his fiancee.

The kids are grown up, and are not a permanent part of your life. They do not need to be invited. 

Post # 9
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

No and no.

Post # 10
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I don’t think you have to invite them, especially with the type of wedding you’re having.  You don’t even know those people well yet, so it would be awkward having them at your Destination Wedding, I think.

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I didn’t invite my mom’s boyfriend’s kids or my dad’s girlfriend’s kids.

I rarely see mom’s bf’s kids, and I’ve never met dad’s gf’s kids.

Nobody was upset, and I didn’t have people I barely know at my wedding. Win win.

Post # 12
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think b/c of the type of wedding you are having, small, destination wedding that you do not have to invite them.  I invited my mom’s FI”s grown kids to my wedding mostly b/c my mom is very, very close with them, she even put up a stink to have their 6 kids invited.. I put my foot down at that one!  But in your situation I think you don’t have to invite them

Post # 13
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you technically NEED to invite them, but I would check with each parent to see what they prefer.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Penelopeee:  Say you’ve already budgeted and booked the numbers you want. End of discussion. If they want the kids to come, they are more than welcome to contribute the money. That should end all conversation hahaha

Post # 16
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Eh, if I was in your shoes I’d invite them. Your dad’s FI’s kids will soon be your step-siblings, and it’s possible the same could someday be true with your dad’s GF’s kids. I know it’s different when you’re all already adults when your parents get together, my mom technically has a stepbrother and sister who I know she doens’t really think of that way because she was in her late 20s when her dad married their mom…but they’re still my aunt and uncle and I’m close to them, and they’re at all our holiday gatherings. So with keeping your future relationship with them in mind, I’d invite them.

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