Post # 1
We decided on an intimate destination wedding in Mexico (yay!!!). Only our immediate families and best friends are being invited (so less than 30 people). I already have guest list questions (ALREADY!??? lol)
1. My mom lives with her boyfriend. He has 2 grown children I have met a few times over the years. They are already assuming they are invited. Do I have to invite them?
2. My Dad’s Fiance has 2 grown children I have met exactly twice. Do I have to invite them?
I REALLY want to keep this wedding very small and meaningful and selfishly don’t want to share it with strangers. Am I a horrible biotch if I don’t include them?
I am of course inviting my parent’s SO’s.
Post # 3
I say you don’t have to invite them.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Do you now or do you plan to spend holidays with mom’s boyfriend’s kids? If the answer is yes I say to invite them in order to avoid hurt feelings that may bubble over at the holidays for years to come.
Same question regarding Dad’s FI’s kids.
Also, you could save everyone a headache by asking your mom and dad what they think as well. I personally would be more concerned with what my parents thought was appropriate but I have a super close relationship to both of my parents.
*I invited both of my stepsisters even though we didn’t grow up together and we only see each once every few years.
Post # 5
If they were minors and living in the house, I would say yes, but becuase they are adults, no, no you don’t.
Post # 6
You do not have to invite his children, even if they are minors.
ETA: This should be moved to the ‘Etiquette’ section.
Post # 7
I think you can get away with not inviting them, because it will be a Destination Wedding. To an in-town wedding with like 120 ppl invited, I would have said yes, you have to.
Post # 8
Just the couples, you mom and her boyfriend. You dad and his fiancee.
The kids are grown up, and are not a permanent part of your life. They do not need to be invited.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I don’t think you have to invite them, especially with the type of wedding you’re having. You don’t even know those people well yet, so it would be awkward having them at your Destination Wedding, I think.
Post # 11
I didn’t invite my mom’s boyfriend’s kids or my dad’s girlfriend’s kids.
I rarely see mom’s bf’s kids, and I’ve never met dad’s gf’s kids.
Nobody was upset, and I didn’t have people I barely know at my wedding. Win win.
Post # 12
I think b/c of the type of wedding you are having, small, destination wedding that you do not have to invite them. I invited my mom’s FI”s grown kids to my wedding mostly b/c my mom is very, very close with them, she even put up a stink to have their 6 kids invited.. I put my foot down at that one! But in your situation I think you don’t have to invite them
Post # 13
I don’t think you technically NEED to invite them, but I would check with each parent to see what they prefer.
Post # 14
Ok- let’s say my mom wants to invite her boyfriend’s two daughters (she’s not contributing to the wedding btw- Fiance and I are paying for it). Older daughter has a serious boyfriend she lives with. Does the total stranger boyfriend get invited too?
This is the scenerio I’m really trying to avoid.
Fiance and I are older and this is a second marriage for both of us. I just want my teeny tiny mexican wedding!!!!
Post # 15
@Penelopeee: Say you’ve already budgeted and booked the numbers you want. End of discussion. If they want the kids to come, they are more than welcome to contribute the money. That should end all conversation hahaha
Post # 16
Eh, if I was in your shoes I’d invite them. Your dad’s FI’s kids will soon be your step-siblings, and it’s possible the same could someday be true with your dad’s GF’s kids. I know it’s different when you’re all already adults when your parents get together, my mom technically has a stepbrother and sister who I know she doens’t really think of that way because she was in her late 20s when her dad married their mom…but they’re still my aunt and uncle and I’m close to them, and they’re at all our holiday gatherings. So with keeping your future relationship with them in mind, I’d invite them.