(Closed) Have to tell FI’s son today that we’re moving.

posted 8 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ah, that’s so tough!  I’m sad for you all 🙁

I think if I were in your shoes, first off, I’d develop a kind of strategy with my Fiance before starting the conversation.  Because this could be a really hard thing to go through.  So you want to have an idea of what you’re both going to say, and what not to say/do. 

And I’d speak (and ask your Fiance to do so to) about my emotions.  I’d tell him that I was really sad to be moving so far away, and that it really hurts you both.  So his son knows he can be upset too.  He probably won’t want to show it, but at least he’ll know its ‘allowed’.  And I’d close with all the opportunities  he’ll get to still see you guys.  So he doesn’t get a feeling of finality.

But none of that is based on experience, its just what I think I’d do.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I moved from California to Missouri when I was 17 years old and it was really hard. At that age you’re very established in your group of friends and things you like to do. The culture change was huge for me. I was able to make friends, but i haven’t kept them since high school. Just try to be empathetic about how hard it is for him to go through and adjust. My parents were relatively selfish about the whole thing and I struggled to adjust to my new high school and new life. They didn’t see how it was difficult for me and only saw the ‘good’ in moving to a hoosier area. They were able to retire, which was great, but at the same time, i don’t know that they really considered how much it affected us.

Post # 5
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

*sigh. As a child of parents who divorced and moved to separate cities I can understand how hard this must be for you. He sounds like he’s got a really good head on his shoulders and even though I’m sure he’ll be upset at first I think that you sound like a great step-mom-to-be and have put a lot of thought into this already, which will help a lot! Just make sure he knows that you both love him very much (it seems obvious, but it helps:) and that you are looking forward to new adventures in your new city, etc. Good luck, I will be sending thoughts and prayers your way!

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