Post # 1
There’s the engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelor party, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner… Then factor in the time and cost to host or even attend these events. And people wonder why they’re so stressed and wound up by the time the actual wedding comes around. So many people whining about what to wear to this, what the invitations should look like for that, I don’t like the guest list for this, I can’t afford that…
Does anyone just get married and have a great day anymore?
Post # 3
I’m with you. I’m not opposed to the events themselves, I’m more opposed to the idea that we need to have these events. Engagement parties are awesome, but not as awesome if you’re making people break the bank to be there and stress out over planning it. Same with bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and over events. If ladies want to plan and pay for pre-wedding events, they absolutely should. But if someone can’t have a shower or bachelorette weekend, they shouldn’t feel like a bad or lesser bride. I have a friend who was married recently, who straight-up told me she would have an inferior wedding if she didn’t have a big destination bachelorette weekend. I just don’t get that reasoning. It’s hard to get my wedding party together (due to location and money constraints), so I’d personally rather focus on the big event rather than several smaller ones leading up to it.
Post # 4
@Aquaria: You forgot the morning after brunch! haha
It is so ridiculous. I am definitely not opposed to having them.. I am having them. All of them. But I completely get what you’re saying. I also think that there is so much emphasis on “getting it exactly right” that we forget the reasons why we’re hosting/having these parties to begin with.
Post # 5
@Aquaria: some people want big, some people want small.
i’ve been to the $50,000 wedding with all the hoopla and i’ve been to the backyard $5,000 wedding with none of the parties.
different strokes for different folks. at the end of the day, both are married the same.
Post # 6
Yup. It’s a circus.
Add in all the 25 billion photo shoot themes documenting it all and it becomes even more crazy.
Post # 7
I’m with you too! Nothing wrong with these events (I love going to them as a guest!) but I just can’t get my druthers up for anything more than one big special day. We’re having a small rehearsal dinner, and then a nice big wedding. No brunch, no big showers. We’ll probably have little things for bachelor and bachellorette parties, but nothing involving flying around or anything crazy.
I think they can be great, but are definitely optional. My bridesmaids are spread out across the country, so I figure asking them to fly out once is plenty!
Post # 8
I totally agree!
My ex SIL had three engagement parties, three showers, a groom shower, a bachelorette, bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, wedding, day after brunch. It was a nightmare to have to go to all of those things!
Post # 9
Totally with you on this one. Fiance and I live overseas, our families and friends (and bridal party) are scattered across three continents. They will already be doing enough to be present at our destination wedding, in no way am I going to put everyone out more by needing a bridal shower, bachelorette’s etc. We may do a small rehearsal dinner, then the wedding, and then a chilled out brunch the next day.
Post # 10
Yes, absolute and total overkill IMO. Businesses specializing in weddings are laughing all the way to the bank! I don’t like attending a million events all having to do with the same wedding. By the time the actual wedding comes around, I feel nothing but relief that it’s all over lol. Fiance and I are on the same page as far as our own wedding goes. We are having 50 people and are hosting it at an elegant downtown restaurant. It will be more of an upscale dinner party than anything. We are not bothering with any of the below:
-bachelorette party (although I will likely treat myself to a trip to NYC – alone!)
-the morning after wedding brunch
-the wedding itself will be quite non-traditional also. On-site, non religious ceremony. Fiance is opting for a sharp suit and tie he can get use out of later instead of a tux. No speeches, garter/bouquet toss, no garter at all in fact, wedding programs, guestbooks, limos, bridal parties or favours.
I want as little stress as possible surrounding the day. I want to be relaxed and enjoy every minute of it without worrying about a million and one details. Before setting off for an amazing honeymoon 😀
Post # 11
We’re having a rehearsal/groom’s dinner. But it’s nothing crazy, it’s the wedding part & family in one of our favorite restaurants. I’m not doing a wild bachelorette party, we’re getting mani/pedis and having a girly drink or three. Same with the bachelor party, they’re going to have a few beers, order in and watch stupid movies with explosions and play cards.
Post # 12
I think it’s overkill if someone is doing EVERYTHING they can. Like having 3 bridal showers, 2 bachorlettes, 2 bachlors, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, and THEN the morning after brunch.
I guess I’m doing alot, but everything is going to be scaled down, ALOT.
I wasn’t going to have a shower, but my aunt really wants to throw one, we’re only going to invite around 20 girls.
The bachlorette will be relatively small as well, probably spend a day of shopping at the mall, and then hit up a male strip club. No more than 7 girls.
And, the morning after brunch isn’t a HUGE deal, nobody needs to go, it’s just because I figured everyone would be hungry so why not get together one last time?
Post # 13
@coconutcupcake: right? It’ a WEDDING, thus requiring a loving couple, an officiant, a marriage certificate, and best case scenario your most beloved family and friends to share the moment with you. Pre-wedding events have no effect on the marriage itself after the wedding.
Post # 14
@Aquaria: 100%. That’s my feeling on it. I still want cake though…I love wedding cake and this is my excuse to have a slice or two or three hahaha!
Post # 15
I’ll be doing a lot of events but that’s because most of my guests are travelling to me for our big day and I want them to feel appreaciated. We won’t break the bank to do it but we will have a large rehearsal dinner and likely a morning after brunch.
Post # 16
It helps if the events are spread out over time and low-key, and involve different groups of folks.
For example, we had a getting-to-know you dinner that we hosted for the groomsfolk (I hadn’t spent much time with any of them), an engagement party Darling Husband ‘s parents hosted (only invited their friends/family), a shower that my coworkers threw, a bachelor party for the groomsmen, and a rehearsal dinner with the wedding party + a few out of town guests.
Not one of our guests (even our families) were invited or went to all of these, which reduces event fatigue and the cost for guests. As the bride, I really enjoyed it!