(Closed) Have yet to meet his kids!!!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

OMG what a terrible situation. I am so sorry you have to worry about this in your current and future life.

Can he go to some court to get the rights to his kids back? It doesn’t seem right that he cannot see his kids because the EX is jealous. 

Post # 5
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

She sounds like a bitter person.

I feel that as long as they aren’t being abused in any way EVERY parent should have the right to see their children. Regardless of how the main parent feels.  Have you been able to have a lunch or sit down with the EX while Fiance was there? Maybe she feels threaded by you and maybe if you meet she will feel less angry.

It sounds like you are marring a very nice man that cares for his children.

Post # 7
Hostess
4667 posts
Honey bee

Would the ex feel more comfortable if she had someone there as a mediator along with her while you meet the kids? She may be feeling threatened by you. This may be because she thinks when you marry Fiance he’ll take over custody of the children and never see them again. Which by the sounds of it would never happen. But hopefully the court will try to settle this so it doesn’t ruin the lives of you future step-chilren because clearly you want to care for them as much as Fiance does.

Post # 8
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just a quick question, but is he legally married and engaged to you? That could be sore spot for her despite her being in a relationship now.

Fwiw, my FI’s ex wife (he was divorced for 2 years before he and I met) is not friendly at all and refuses to talk to me.  She has been in multiple live-in relationships and yet refuses to understand or fathom that her ex husband is getting remarried and that I will be the kids’ stepmom (I get along w/the kids wonderfully).   

Post # 10
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Now I get it..sorry you’re having to endure this.  Just do as I have had to do, smile and bear it (for the kids) because they will look to you to see calmness and sanity in your home.

I am nice to T’s ex wife no matter how she acts.  Imho, it’s hard to look good when being mean to somebody else if they are nothing but nice back to you.  What I say about her in private is another story…but not to ever air in front of the kids.  

Post # 11
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I am really sorry to hear this too.  I have a future step daughter and her mother is evil.  She is completly unreasonable and is basically bankrupting us by constantly dragging him to court for riduculous things.  She is always making up things and harassing us.  Luckily he does have legal rights to see his daughter and a schedule.  She is the sweetest little girl in the world and dispite her mothers inability to behave we have a wonderful relationship.  Hopefully your Fiance can get this dealt with in the courts.  Her refusal to let him see them may reflect poorly against her and give him the upper hand.

Good luck! 

Post # 12
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s unfortunate that she’s being unreasonable and she’ll definitely have to get her act together.  But until the two of you are actually married and therefore, she’ll have to relent and allow the kids to spend time with the person that’ll be their step-mother, as of right now, the only person that has any visitation rights is your Fiance.

Hate to sound that way, but from a legal standpoint, it’s how it is.  It’s too bad your Fiance wasn’t allowed to visit and had I been in your shoes, I’d have allowed him the space so that she’d be okay and he could visit.  There’ll be plenty of time (hopefully) in the future to visit, but as of right now you don’t really have any rights and since anything can happen before the wedding, she is perfectly within her rights to say you can’t visit with the kids (though she cannot do that with your FI).

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