(Closed) Have you and your partner gone to counseling?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What is your experience with relationship counseling?
    we've never been and 1 or both of us would not be willing to go : (7 votes)
    9 %
    we've never been but we both agree we would go if we needed to : (41 votes)
    53 %
    one of us has gone on his/her own and discussed the relationship : (6 votes)
    8 %
    one of us goes to someone, but wouldn't discuss the relationship without partner present : (0 votes)
    we have been to a few sessions but it wasn't helpful for us : (0 votes)
    we have gone to a few sessions and now don't feel the need to go anymore : (5 votes)
    6 %
    we go regularly and feel it has helped our relationship : (9 votes)
    12 %
    we go regularly but it doesn't seem to be helping much : (0 votes)
    we have both read self help / relationship guidance books together as a form of counseling : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    601 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We’re starting on the 13th and going every wednesday until dec 1st for 2 hrs. We’re both excited about going because we know that we need it. It can’t hurt any to go.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We haven’t gone yet, but we will be doing “pre-marital” conselling, just to make sure all the tough questions are asked.

    Post # 5
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    This is a good post. I noticed everyone suggests counceling all the time too. We have never been though.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I haven’t been with my SO, but I’ve been by myself and it helped me a lot.  If and when we ever need it I would definitely go with him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    Neither of us have been since we’ve met. We both went before we met for different things, and I know we’re both open to it if we needed it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We agree that if one or other of us feels its necessary we will go.  So far that hasn’t happened, but I imagine it may be called for at some point in the 60 odd years we’ll be married.

    I see someone on my own and have talked about the relationship in sessions, but I don’t go specifically to discuss it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We go now and it is very beneficial to take an hour every week to discuss our relationship with a third party and learn tools to improve our relationship.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Neither of us have ever been.  I’m skeptical about it, but it’s one of those things I’d have to try out before I form an opinion for or against it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We’ve never been, together, or seperately. We’ve discussed it though, and it’s something we’re both open to if we feel we need it!

    Post # 12
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    We have not been to it as a couple or since we’ve been a couple. Fiance went when he was younger to deal with his parents’ divorce and he did not like it. I went once in college to deal with some stuff and I did not like it. Despite that, I think if we needed to go/were having a lot of issues it’d be a great idea. Fiance is very skeptical of it, but he has said if I ever really wanted to go he would. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I chose other because there weren’t any options that appeared to fit my situation. I personally love counseling (but I do have a masters in professional counseling LOL). I have gone by myself and with Fiance and I feel it really helps out. I work from a neo-analytic framework and I personally feel as though this is an excellent framework for an individual seeking individual counseling. It works with issues from the person’s whole life thus far and how that influences their current situation. Things in your personal history may cause issues that you do not readily identify as connecting to the issues you have now. Granted, this framework is not for everyone, but for me, it is very important. Fiance and I also went to counseling together a few years a go. It was very helpful and I feel we have become a better couple because of it. What we took from that has help us build our relationship into what it is today. While we no longer go, we found it beneficial and will go back as needed. I think this framework may help with couples as well. Some individuals have issues that stem from their past that influence their current relational problems.

    A side note: I cannot stress enough the importance of the therapeutic bond. If you go to a counselor and he or she is not a good fit, please see another counselor. Not every counselor will work well with every person. You need to find someone with whom you are comfortable with and feel safe with. I have been to three counselors in my life and have finally found one with whom I am comfortable with. Please do not give up on therapy after one therapist if it does not work out. There is someone out there who will work well with you. There are so many frameworks from which counselors work from, you need to figure out which one works for you. Hope this helps :-).

    Post # 14
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We only did 1 premarital counseling session and I really enjoyed it. We have both gone to therapists individually in the past, but not to talk about our relationship. We have agreed that if we need to we will go to counseling – we think it is a wonderful thing and a great way to improve your relationship or work on it if necessary!

    Post # 15
    Member
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We had to do a couple hour pre-marital counseling with our church before they would marry us, but I really don’t count that.

    So that said, we’ve never been to relationship counseling but if it was ever needed, I don’t see either of us having a problem with it.  My brother has been to weekly counseling for years for his depression and it does wonders for him!  That alone would make me willing to give it a try if ever needed.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @pinkshoes: Im just wondering why you are skeptical about it? Not to be judgmental at all….just that I know others that feel skeptical about it too and Ive always wondered what there is to be skeptical of?

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