(Closed) have you and your SO ever “taken a break”??

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: have you ever 'taken a break'?
    yes and it made us stronger : (45 votes)
    35 %
    yes and it hurt our relationship : (4 votes)
    3 %
    no i would never do that! when im done im done : (73 votes)
    56 %
    other : (8 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Yup. We started dating really young and I was his first girlfriend. I think it freaked him out everytime we started to become more serious and he would pull away..and I was still too immature to know how to deal with it. We were both at fault but I truly believe we have one of the strongest relationships out of anyone that we know because we recognize the value in it and have practice identifying and working on issues. We refused to get back together until we had resolved the things that made us split up and I think we are a lot stronger for it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yes for approximately 5 minutes….twice while we were dating and once while we were engaged!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    No, never.  Once we started dating, we never wanted a break.  I know it works for some people, but not for me.

    I took a break with my first serious boyfriend.  Actually we started dating at 17, broke up at 19, and got back together at 21….then got married.  I really wish we’d just stayed apart.  I had thought we’d both grown up a bit and the problems we’d had were solved…but he was still the same guy and the same issues we’d had at 19 did us in in the end. 

    I do admit that my bad experience with a break has tainted my view somewhat.  I have no doubt that stepping back a bit and reevaluating does help for some people. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    About 2 months into our relationship we broke up for like a week. It definitely made us stronger. I was his first serious girlfriend and we were both young. We jumped into living together pretty quickly (my best friend and I had just moved into our first apartment and he moved in with us soon after). None of us were mature enough to live on our own and it definitely took a toll on our relationship. We worked it out (like I said, we were apart for about a week so we don’t even count it as a “breakup”) and now 5 1/5 years later we’re getting married. Sometimes “breaks” can make relationships stronger. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We took a break for about a week.  About 4 months into our relationship I got diagnosed with type one diabetes.  FI was there for me the whole time but I definitely sort of turned into this different person.  I went through somewhat of a mourning period for myself and was really down and depressed. We started fight a lot and Fiance decided he needed some space.  It only lasted about 5 days and when we got together one night we instantly got back together and have been going strong since!!  I think it has definitely made us stronger because we realized how much we missed each other and how important we were in each other’s lives.

    Post # 8
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    we did. Though they were legitimate breakups neither of us got into new relationships during them. In the end I would udually realize that, even with his “faults” (which I later realized were just me being unrealistic) Fiance is the only man for me. 🙂 So yeah, it helped!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2463 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    about a month after we started dating, hubby got scared (i was his first serious relationship, and it was moving pretty fast) and tried to break it off. it’s kind of cute in retrospect–he seemed so upset when he was trying to break up with me that i asked if he was sure, and he said “no!” he ended up calling me to hang out about 5 days later. we weren’t “officially” bf/gf for about another 2 months-ish after that, but we went back to talking all the time and seeing each other multiple times/week. i don’t know if it made us stronger, but it def didn’t hurt us. welll, it made me more insecure about us for a little while….but then we ended up being in an ldr for a school-year and the distance def brought us closer.

    Post # 10
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    If you consider 5 minutes a break, then sure, we have too LOL. But never a real break up or break.

    Post # 11
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Not with my Fiance but with my ex boyfriend, yes. We were together for many years and took a break in the last year before we broke up for good about 6 months later. But in all honesty I think the relationship was already over and we were just having a very hard time letting go and moving on, taking a break was a way of slowing the process down and easing into being single again.

    Post # 12
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    For some couples, taking a break is necessary. My SO and I broke up a lot, because neither of us believed in taking a “break”, we just didn’t like the idea of “maybe I’ll stay with you until something better comes along”.

    The first one was while I was out of state for a few days, about a month into our relationship. We broke it off and in 3 days when I came back I was coming home to his apartment after the trip. The second lasted maybe 1 weekend after his birthday. Most miserable birthday party for me because I had already known something was up (and giving him presents was weird). Third time shortly after Halloween and last time was the longest at around 11 days, before Thanksgiving.

    11 days seems long when you’re getting over someone but it really absolutely helped ME as a person to step back and realize what the relationship really was. When he asked for me back I was really walled up and I never imagined myself as the begrudging type of person. We both admitted fault (he moreso me, thankfully) and we’ve been together since. Although our official anniversary is in May, I consider November our real anniversary since we haven’t taken anymore break-ups since then.

    We have considered separating many times though but always came to the conclusion that it is a natural reaction to not fighting for the relationship / giving up / running away from responsibilities.

    I’m not proud of the fact that we had a bumpy start as I equate it to perhaps having a weak or not-meant-to-be relationship. But we’re now both genuinely happy and happy with each other. I think had we both entered another relationship during the “break” it would’ve increased my chances of not wanting him back…so it depends fom couple to couple.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We did once while dating. He decided he needed his space, but we still kept in contact. About a week later he came running back, he missed me too much, lol. I do think it made us stronger. We both realized then that we loved eachother and were willing to make it work no matter what.

    Post # 14
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    We had children together prior to getting married, so taking a break was never an option.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We met in 2000, dated off and on until 2001, then broke it off completely. We got back together in 2004. I think we defnitely needed that time to grow and mature a bit more. I think we are better for it!

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