(Closed) Have you arranged legal guardianship for your LO just in case?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrsluckywife:  Oh good lord. What a difficult question. I have been thinking about this recently myself. My siblings live on the other side of the earth and so I don’t know if that would be an option, but my parents are older so I don’t know if that would work. I am not much help… I hope others will be, so I will subscribe! 
 

Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I haven’t had to look into this as the parents of a child but …….

I’ll be the legal guardian for my two nieces if something happens to both my bro/SIL. She’s an only child and there are five of us. I’m the one that’s closest to them in age, my SIL & I are bff’s since before she new my brother, I’m both girls godmother, and our parents are a bit older to be trapsing all over for events. I guess growing up with my brother and being her bff I know the things that would be important to instill in the girls, that my bro/sil would want them in activities, go to college and be close with family. Both Darling Husband & I would love children, and most likely will be looking into adoption do to some medical things.

 

now a bit of a horror story :::  We have family friends, the wife’s sister/bil passed away and they got custody of a child in in 4th grade.  This family friend never ever in a million years wanted children, she was barely interested in being an aunt. It has been terrible for the  kid, impossible demands made on the child, child blamed for the aunt not getting a travel position in her job….because she HAD to take care of the child. The youngest child finally just finished up college, across the country from the aunt and they no longer talk

Post # 6
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We will definitely plan to arrange legal guardianship when we have a child. My sister and SIL both currently plan to remain childfree, so whoever we ask to be the child’s Godparents would also be the legal guardians, rather than just having an honorary title. My parents always made it clear to me while I was growing up that if something were to happen to both of them we would be safe and would live with my Godparents. It was actually very comforting to know they had a plan in place for us just in case.

Post # 7
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

What a hard question.  🙁

Darling Husband and I don’t have any LOs yet and won’t for a while, but as things stand right now, I think his parents would probably take them.  My parents are a little bit older and live on the other side of the country.  While I think they would do a great job, my mom turns sixty next year and isn’t in the best shape, and I don’t know that they could keep up with little kids.  Also, if our kids were to lose their parents, I would think that keeping everything else as normal as possible would be the best thing for them, and moving them across the country would not accomplish that goal.

Darling Husband has two siblings, and I have one brother.  Right now, I wouldn’t trust any of them to care for our children.  All three are unmarried.  Brother-In-Law is living a bachelor lifestyle and doesn’t have the steadiest job.  SIL is only a junior in college.  My brother can’t even take care of himself or his dogs.  I’m positive that they’ll all change over time and will make great caretakers when they’re more settled (well, Brother-In-Law and SIL will…  I have my doubts about my brother), but at this very moment, they wouldn’t be able to do it.

 

I remember that when I was little, I was told that your godparents were who you lived with if your parents ever died.  I had nightmares for months about it because although my godparents are nice people, I have never even lived in the same state as them, and I can count the number of times I’ve met them in my life on one hand.  I was terrified that I would have to go live with complete strangers and wouldn’t even have my brother with me (because he has different godparents).

 

ETA:  I just had a thought, and I dunno how Darling Husband would feel about it, but we could also possibly ask our very good friend E, the guy who introduced us a decade ago and who got us back together three years ago, to take them.  E is currently in seminary school to become a priest, so it would be kind of weird, but I don’t think the Church would have a problem with it, and I know that one of the things E struggled with the most when he was making his decision was the idea that he would never be a father.  Therefore, I think he would do great by our future children and would be honored to have them.  He’s going to be a very important part of their lives anyway, so I could see it working.

Post # 8
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We don’t have LO’s yet either but our friends just had a baby and have been discussing this. I think his sister and her husband will be the actual guardians named in their will but we will be the emergency contact because his sister lives in NY and we’re in NC. What I didn’t realize was if something happens to you and your child’s legal guardian cannot make it immediately the child will be put into foster care until they can arrive. So since his sister would take at least a few hours to get there we can just go get the baby and take care of her until she arrives. But if they hadn’t set us up as the emergency contact the baby would go to social services until his sister arrived.

Post # 9
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My SIL will be the kids’ legal guardian, should we both pass away.  We didn’t want to place the burden of raising young children on our parents, who are in/near retirement age, and SIL is the most stable/comfortable of all our siblings.  She’s educated and in a pretty stable career field, so I think she’ll always have a good income.  She also isn’t married and doesn’t have kids of her own (though she really wants that!), so there’s no worry about overburdening her.  The rest of our siblings are either a) too unstable or b) too young to be serious contenders.

Post # 10
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t forget to update your legal guardian if things change!

Post # 11
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Darling Husband and I do not have any kids yet, but we do have a lot of family that would make great guardians… we will definately have something written up when our first LO arrives…

I have a friend from work who I am pretty close with. He and his wife recently asked Darling Husband and I if we would adopt their girls in the event that something happens to them. I think the chain of custody starts with her mom, then us, but her mom has a lot of work to do taking care of her father so it’s likely that we would end up with the girls… we were pretty honored to be chosen over a lot of their own family, and it’s definately made us think that we need to be prepared when the time comes…

Post # 12
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I have slightly a different situation. Dirty Delete is from a previous relationship where biological father has nothing to do with her (left me at 8 months pregnant). So I have made a will with Darling Husband (who has been part of our lives for 6 yrs) if something happens to just me. I had a long talk with my youngest sister and we decided if anything happened to Darling Husband and myself that she would take Dirty Delete. She happily agreed to this.

Darling Husband plans on adopting Dirty Delete but since we are in the Caribbean right now it makes it a little difficult we will start proceedures when I go back to Canada to visit family.

Post # 14
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrsluckywife:  Just thought I would update. My mum is at my place, I asked her if we were to have kids who should we give guardianship to, and she categorically said her and my dad. She was horrified that we would consider anyone else. She seems to have relaxed now.. Maybe… 😉 
 

Post # 16
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Mrsluckywife:  Whomever lives closer?  Is healthier?  It’s hard.  In our case, my parents are married and his divorced (and a little older), so mine would be the more likely set – but I think due to age, we’d go with siblings.  My parents are in their 60s now…no way an 80 year old ought to be asked to have a teenager.

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