(Closed) Have you attended a wedding that bucked etiquette rules, and was AMAZING?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That sounds awesome! Friggin’ awesome! They did it their way and it sounds great. Before I got married I used to want to only invite people to the wedding that knew me AND my fiance. I just felt that the first time meeting someone that’s a guest at your wedding shouldn’t be invited. They couldn’t be that important :-/ Needless to say that didn’t fly at my actual wedding. But, I did win the +1 battle (only engaged and married +1s)

Post # 4
22 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

My fiance and I have had a few rules in the planning process-
#1-If we are married at the end of the day, it is a success. None of the wedding planning details are as important as our marriage.
#2-Our community has played an important role in our relationship, so making sure that our family and friends were able to come and have a blast is more important than any other priority-ie, if we have to choose between an extra friend and a centerpiece, people come first.
#3-We will not do anything just because it is traditional, expected, or “ettiquette”. We are following some traditions, but only those that have meaning for us.  

We have contemplated having byob. But we might end up just buying a bunch of wine. I am not sure about that yet. 

Post # 5
2024 posts
Buzzing bee

As I understand your post, the only etiquette issues were:
1.  BYOB
2.  if they did not invite both parties of couples that were married, engaged, or living together

Inviting every guest by name and extending personal, handwritten notes (for a smaller, less formal wedding, anyway) are practices that are approved by even the old, traditional manuals. 

Edited because I re-read the OP…

Post # 6
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

70 close friends?

Damn – between the Fiance and I we have about 12 close friends

Post # 7
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hmmm I can’t really think of any I’ve been to that broke etiquette rules. 

Except some that had cash bars/partial cash bars.  I didn’t care for those.

I can’t think of any other rules I’ve seen people break!  I might have been to a no kids wedding but honestly I can’t remember.  And I don’t have kids so it wouldn’t affect me.  I don’t even think that’s an etiquette rule though (to include children).  You can invite whomever you want.  The +1s is definitely an etiquette rule though!

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That sounds lovely. My friend (and work colleague) is having her civil partnership in November. There are three of us invited from work and our SOs are not invited until the evening reception. Are we offended? Well, I’m not…she does not really know my fiancé and there is limited space and budget for the ceremony and afternoon so why would she want to invite someone she doesn’t really know when she can invite somone she does?

Post # 9
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say break all of the etiquite rules, they put people in the poor house and create uncessary stress… I think your friend was smart, look at the money she saved.  So many times we make all about the process when it is really about what you do after you say “I do”.  I think because I am am older bride, I don’t need gifts, I already have a home and a retirement plan,  I recognize this whole wedding process is a big scam…. we stress for years and the event is over in 6 hours.  Having said that , I think you day should be totally reflective of you and your beloved and whatever you want to do, I say do it,  because at the end of the day, if people are going to talk negatively about your ceremony and reception, they shouldnt be invited anway.  So I say, if you want to have cookies and milk do it… LOL

Signed the Anti Bride, but love my man more than the entire world and can’t wait to Mrs., but sick of all of the foolishness related to planning.



Post # 10
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have, but unfortunately it was horrible and ended up a massive gong show. I’m sure there are many weddings that pull this off easily, however the one I attended was just a sh*t show of all the things that could go wrong due to lack of planning. 

Post # 12
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014


Please share Smile

Post # 13
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Nope. I wouldn’t find that amazing, since 95% of etiquette is consideration for others and addressing issues before they turn into problems. I wouldn’t have enjoyed the wedding described.

Post # 15
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow!  They were lucky to have such understanding wedding guests! Most people would freak out about a lot of those things.

Post # 16
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m one of those people who get worked up about the +1 situation, but I was invited to a wedding without Darling Husband (he was Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time…but we’d been together for years).  I was a little surprised, but I knew I’d have tons of friends there so I wasn’t too worried about it.  I went and had a good time regardless.  I think it was a judicious use of a no +1 (other friends were in the same situation) because she knew that 

1) The B&G didn’t know our partners well

2) They knew that we’d have TONS of other friends there that we could catch up with.

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