- Wedding: October 2016 - Waldorf Astoria, Orlando
onceuponadream: This is also my first time hearing “Sprinkle”… It’s cute. If someone were to mention it in passing I might need to ask what they were talking about, but if I received an invite, I would absolutely understand it’s like a shower. Context is key.
Anyway, last year my FH’s Aunt (who had NUMEROUS IVF treatments a few years back and FINALLY had a boy. He’s four) found out she was pregnant and it was a baby girl. With the infertility issues and her age (42) she never thought another baby was in her deck of cards. She after her son grew out of things like his stroller, crib, bassinet, highchair, car seats and clothes she gave them away to younger mothers in her neighborhood (she is very nice)…
Well, SURPRISE! Hello miracle baby girl! No one was stepping up to the plate. I asked about a shower and she did the pearl clutching “but it’s my second baby, I couldn’t ask people to give me more stuff!”.. To me, that was nonsense. This clearly was an acceptance to this silly etiquette rule. I mean, come on.. MIRACLE BABY and you already gave away all the important stuff.
She would not listen.
Well, she is the only relative that lives in the same area (and state) as us.. So when the baby was born I showed up at the hospital with pretty much a bundle of gift cards from FH and I. I didn’t know what she had, what she wanted, colors… anything. So $250 to target, $500 to Babies R Us, $250 to Walmart, and $1000.00 visa gift card. I know it’s a lot, but she has done do much for us. I knew that she would be embarassed opening these gifts and would reject them if she did it in front of anyone. I told her very politely that the one card was to be opened by her and her husband privately (his family was also at the hospital). I also brought her flowers, sushi (something she couldn’t eat while pregnant but wanted), a welcome-baby gift basket and a big brother gift for her son. She does not work and her husband works two jobs to support them. These people have been extremely kind to my FH and I throughout the years and let us stay with them for two weeks when we moved down here so we could find a place to rent.
I got a phone call the day after she brought her daughter home. She was in tears, thanking me. No one. Not even her parents.. had sent her a single thing outside of maybe an outfit or a teddy bear. All she had for her daughter was a bassinet and a car seat. She had a lot of complications during pregnancy and the medical bills piled up quickly. She was trying to handle the whole thing on her own, in silence. This was devasting news to hear.
Just over Easter her sister came down to visit. We went over to their house to eat dinner (as we do on all holidays)…. She was showing off the babies room with pride. She did a great job! I know that since the birth in November she has had the chance to add more things with her own budget. I know that the visa gift card paid some of the hospital bills. I didn’t care what any of it went to. I just wanted her to have the chance to nest she never got,
But I don’t get the mentality of “no second shower”.
Everyone’s life deserves to be celebrated and welcomed. Everyone can use a gift for their little one’s.. even if it’s a binkie or a set of nipples for the bottles the baby will use. There is always going to be an extra expense and I think that as friends and family, people should try to help out. In my side of the family, all babies get showers.
I think what you’re going is very sweet. Sorry for the novel.