(Closed) Have you been given a timeline?? What is it?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Well, this most recent timeline was given February 18th. It was “in the next 6 months”. We have been together two years so I’m not holding my breath ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 4
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I thought that we had pinned down a timeline at the beginning of the New Year – engaged this summer 2013 and married in summer 2014 after I graduate. But during a recent conversation it came out that while my SO agrees with this timeline in general, he doesn’t want to feel like he is proposing only because he is trying to meet a certain deadline. The surprise element of a proposal is apparently very important to him, more important than I realized, and he wants to be motivated to propose by an overwhelming sense of love and readiness rather than any sense of pressure.

I can understand his reasoning and I want to respect the space he needs to feel ready for this major life decision. However, I am personally finding it a bit difficult to wait without a more certain timeline. It was easier when I thought I was just counting down to the summer. Though no future is ever certain, it allowed me to envision our future together with some clarity – get engaged this summer, have a year to plan and prepare for our life together, graduate from seminary next spring, and get married next summer after graduation. There are lots of logical reasons I could list for why I think this timeline is best for us. But now with a more open-ended timeline, this future I envision feels a bit in flux.

This experience is probably good for me. I tend to live too far into the future, to plan too far ahead, at the expense of the present moment. It is a lifelong habit of mine that extends long before getting engaged was ever in the cards. And it is helping me to recognize that this is a journey of 2 people coming together, rather than just me on my own. But I won’t deny that waiting in limbo is hard! 

Post # 5
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@stephanie1989:  My timeline is basically sometime in 2013. I told the SO back in the end of 2012 that I wanted to get engaged soon and that I didn’t want to be a “free milk and sandwich shop” forever (We have that kind of honest relationship…). He told me later that he heard me loud and clear and that it (meaning a proposal) would happen in 2013.

It’s very important to him that he ask my dad for his blessing, and he was going to do it over Christmas, but he never had enough solo time with my dad to do so. Since my parents live about 3-4 hours away, he can’t meet up with my dad easily so it will take some time (hence the 2013 timeline). After March, there will be 9 months left of waiting… ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 6
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We’re getting engaged December 2013. I didn’t ask for a timeline, he just likes to plan everything out. Also we’d discussed our reasons for waiting (meeting his parents) and he wanted me to make sure I wouldn’t be stressed if it was coming or not or why it wasn’t happening. 

Post # 7
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA

On our 8 year anniversary, this past November 21st, he promised me we would be engaged by our next anniversary. He’s also told my dad they will be having a ‘talk’ this year. I’m hoping other expenses don’t get in the way & that he’ll stick to this! I’ll probably be pretty heartbroken if he doesn’t.

Post # 8
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

We haven’t decided on specifics, but he told me he wants to be engaged before Thanksgiving so he can introduce me as his fiancé to his extended family.

I’m hoping he’ll do it on October 19 (the anniversary of the day we met), but I told him anytime in the fall would be fine. Initially he said “by September” and I kinda went o_O

I’m not in a rush b/c we have moving in together to get through before taking the step of engagement, but I am excited to get to the point where we look at/talk about rings ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 9
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

I think I’m getting engaged sometime this year… but I can’t be sure.  SO said on New Year’s Eve that he had ‘big plans’ for this year.  I knew he meant an engagement so I called him out on it (I know, I’m a bad waitingbee,  haha) and he said “Oh, well, I don’t want to put a date on it, though, in case it doesn’t happen because I don’t want to disappoint you.”  It sounds like if it is possible it will happen this year.  I’m not sure if either of us will be in the right place in our life yet or not, though, so we’ll see.  Fingers crossed!

I’ve set a goal for myself not to be the one to bring up engagement-related conversations until our 4 year anniversary in June, though, so until then I think things will remain vague.

Post # 10
Member
491 posts
Helper bee

Last December, my SO told me it would be by December 2013, so still potentially a fair amount of waiting. He travels for work and has a pretty random schedule, so the actuall time he could do it is more limited.

I know he told his parents he is saving for a ring, and has told me thats what he’s waiting for, so I figure he wouldn’t have told them tooo long before it happens, right? 

Post # 11
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

We had this conversation at the end of Nov of last year. I asked what he thought about timelines and he said we will be married and living together no later than November 2014. Shortly after that he made the comment he picked the end of 2014 to be safe but he thought we would be married for months by then.

Going to Gatlingburg in April and hoping to come back engaged but honestly with that timeline I am good. Not planning a big wedding (going to Gatlinburg to get married) so not real stressed about it yet.

Post # 12
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t have a timeline, but I am going to get myself one soon =P
Basically I will ask how he feels about getting married “next year” and go from there. I want a short engagement and I don’t want a real wedding.

Post # 13
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

He told me in the same conversation that “It wouldn’t be too long” (cue my gasp!) and then “it’s not going to happen for a while though”. I think he wins worst timeline ever.

Post # 14
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

@stephanie1989:  he said within 10 years, seriously lol! We were watching The muppets & he said we’d be married before our 10 year anniversary, unlike poor Amy Adams……

Post # 15
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

An engagement this year sometime! I’d bet anything on October ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

 Well my SO told me it was going to happen this year. Although I wish I knew like a month time frame but he wants it to be a suprise. His been talking about how much the ring is going to cost him and all the other expenses like the wedding next year.

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