(Closed) Have you broken up and got back together?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 30
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

There have been times when I’ve left to cool off after an argument with hubby or have gotten frustrated and given the “if this doesn’t change I’m not going to keep doing this” ultimatium but we’ve never actually broken up. 

I did break up with an ex and get back together, we broke up after 6 months got back together and dated 2 years after that but ended up breaking up again though it was for different reasons so I would say the first breakup had no bearing on the progress of the rest of the relationship we just weren’t supposed to end up together. 

Post # 31
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

One of the things that I’ve always loved about my Fiance, is that no matter how tough it is between us he’s never left. There has never been any doubt that we’d work it out. Neither of us was going anywhere. 

I think a lot of this all depends on the reasons behind your breaking up and getting back together. If you seem to break up at the slightest fight and then change your mind a week later…well I don’t think that’s good. You shouldn’t be throwing in the towel all the time like that or threatening a break up every time you have an argument. Also, I think it depends on how old/mature you were when you started dating. I know couples that were together in say high school, then broke up because they were just kids, and then got back together years later. 

There was actually another thread about this a month or so ago. 

Post # 32
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

My fiancé and I have broken up a couple of times. We haven’t always communicated well, in the beginning we communicated awfully. We would have a big fight and it would end up with us breaking up. Usually a day or two later we would kiss and make up. 

I think it depends on the underlying issues. Is it a communication thing or difference in opinion? If so, it can probably be worked out. If it’s something major (cheating, abuse, etc) it probably won’t end in a happy relationship. 

Post # 33
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

jennab28:  We broke up 3 times in the course of our 8 year relationship. We are now happily married and in a fantastic place. I don’t regret the break ups for a second – they taught us a lot and made us who we are today.

Post # 34
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Never with my husband. I did with 2 of my ex-boyfriends and I told my now husband when we first started dating, I don’t do that crap. So we worked out every issue we’ve ever had and I have to say, it’s made a difference in the long run, we don’t run from things we take them head on. 

Post # 35
Member
40 posts
Newbee

My SO and I broke up for about 2 weeks. It was 3 months after we moved in together. What I thought was a permanent break-up turned out to just be a much needed break that gave us a new spark. Our sex life was better, we understood each other better, we figured out how to communicate better. I don’t regret the break up or getting back together with him.

Post # 36
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

jennab28:  My Darling Husband and I broke up maybe about 3 times in a span of a 10year relationship.  We have been married for a year and we love it. I think in those years we were just trying to get to know each other that let to a lot of fights.  We understand each other a lot more now 🙂

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  MrsNino.
Post # 37
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I personally feel like there is a huge different between break UP and mutually deciding to take a break. I think if two mature individuals decide that their relationship needs some space to figure out what they really want, thats totally understandable. If there is a break up due to toxic reasons like a power struggle, cheating, lack of communication, thats a completely different story. But everyones situation is different, no one knows your relationship but you! 

Post # 40
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

Yes, we did. Once for 8 months, once for 7 months, and once for a year and a half – this was over an 8 year period. Darling Husband was my first boyfriend, started dating mid-high school. Once he broke up with me when he started college, we broke up mutually before I went to college, and I broke up with him because I felt I needed just a bit more time before we committed to forever. We never broke up for bad or dramatic reasons – it just didn’t feel like the right time. We stayed close as friends the entire time, and I have always loved him, whether we were dating or just friends. We both needed some time for ourselves, and honestly to grow up a bit. We got that, and our relationship is stronger because of it. We are stronger as individuals and as a couple. We both dated other people, and we know that no one else makes us happier than each other.

When we got back together this time, it was with the understanding that we were ready and wanted to stay together. We were basically 100% sure marriage was in our future at that point. We have the same values and want the same thing for our life together. We are newly married and beyond happy now. 🙂

Post # 41
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

jennab28:  yes! For about a month and a half before he begged me back.  and now we are happily married. While it sucked at the time, it’s what we needed to fix our communication. It wasn’t bad “before” but definitely not what either of us wanted to struggle with the rest of our lives. We needed balance and now we have it. Break ups can be a healthy, productive thing. Granted, if there was ever any disrespect, or other person it wouldn’t have been easy to reconcile. 

Post # 42
Member
2075 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

jennab28:  Yes, we’ve broken up twice but third time around, the relationship’s stuck and we got married after being in a steady relationship for over 6 to 7 years. It was a myriad of different reasons (culture, commitment level), but we’ve learnt how to communicate better and taken the time to understand our differences. We’ve known each other for close to 10 years this year.

It’s fun to look back at those times and recall now and again. We’re pretty open with one another though — we don’t hide any secrets from each other. My Darling Husband knows I hate surprises, lol.

Post # 43
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

In the beginning of our relationship we broke up And got back together about a week later. Seven years later we broke up again. We like ppl have posted we just were not communicating. We got back together 3 months later. Our relationship has never been stronger. That was 4 years ago. We are now engaged to be married in 4 months. The breakup was extremely hard for me but I now realize we needed the time off And I’m glad we broke up it made our relationship so much stronger.

Post # 44
Member
3545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

jennab28:  My (now) fiancé and I got back together this February after spending most of 2014 apart, and he proposed in October. The first time around, he had emotional baggage from his past as well as competing priorities, so our relationship did not come first. Even when he recognized that he had feelings for me, he had put up such a huge wall that he didn’t know how to let me in.

Both of these issues caused things to come to an end. In the time apart, we both grew, and we still loved each other. So things worked out this time around because he took the time to speak to a professional about his emotional issues from the past and he was also ready to put our relationship first. It was a matter of working through that emotional wall and timing. 

Post # 45
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

jennab28:  Darling Husband and I broke up around our one year anniversary for 3 months and got back together. We dated for another 6 months, then broke up for a year and a half. We both dated and moved in with other people, and then decided we didn’t want to ever see anyone else again. We got back together 7 years ago for good, and were married Sept 2014. I was only 21 when we met and we had growing pains as well, but here we are 10 years later. 🙂

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