(Closed) Have you cheated or been cheated on?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you cheated or been cheated on?
    Yes, I did the cheating + No, I haven't been cheated on : (17 votes)
    15 %
    Yes, I did the cheating + Yes, I've been cheated on too : (18 votes)
    16 %
    No, I've never done the cheating + No, I haven't been cheated on : (41 votes)
    36 %
    No, I've never done the cheating + Yes, I've been cheated on : (39 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 3
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’ve never cheated nor been cheated on.  I have pretty strong feelings on this issue, after watching a close family member deal with a habitually cheating partner.  Personally, it’s a dealbreaker for me in my relationship, although I understand how other people are able/willing to work through things. 

    Post # 4
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I have never cheated, but I have been cheated on. horrible horrible horrible.

    Post # 5
    1023 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    One of the things I’ve noticed is that people seem unable to leave relationships, so they don’t leave until they’ve moved on to a new thing or they use cheating as a way out. This is why I think so many people cheat. And it bugs the ba’jeezes out of me.

    Post # 6
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Neither. ‘Course, it helps that I’m currently engaged to the only person I’ve ever dated (ditto for him), and that both of us are the commitment-sort.

    Post # 7
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’m like Chalellamus.  And it is horrible to be cheated on….even when it’s not as serious as after being engaged.  It’s happened to me more than once (I guess I’m super trusting b/c in all cases I sort of knew something was up, but allowed that since I have a lot of male friends maybe it was harmless).  One of the times was in a more serious relationship, but in all fairness he told me soon after and said he thought he was falling for her.  They are still together as far as I know, 10 years later, so maybe that was just fate and bad timing.  I still think he should have waited to act on his feelings, though.  It really does destroy one’s ability to trust…ask my Fiance.  I was super insecure about an ex-GF of his early on….b/c most of the situations (yes 2 of the 3 times) involved an ex-GF who was now "just a friend".  He had a hard time understanding where I was coming from b/c we hadn’t been together very long and in his case she really was a friend (dated kind of casually for 2 mos after knowing each other since first grade), but we obviously worked it out.  Now I have the level of trust with him that I had before all of those horrible experiences…but it did take a while to get there b/c I was so cautious.

    I was joking with him that he’s simply too disorganized to hide something like that from me.  He was like, "I’m just too honest.  I’d probably tell you right away b/c I can’t keep secrets."  Which is so true.

    Post # 8
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

    I’ve never been cheated on or cheated, but I really feel for those who have to go through it 🙁

    Post # 9
    193 posts
    Blushing bee

    We are hearing about a lot of cheating lately… it’s sad. I "cheated" on one of my high school boyfriends by kissing another boy, but that’s it. I’ve been cheated on once (um… as far as I know, anyway), but we only dated for a few months and I didn’t find out about it until years and years later, so it didn’t have any emotional impact on me. I think it’s hard to understand how devastating something would be without experiencing it. That said, I know I would hate it if my fiance cheated on me!

    Ok, kind of a ramble. Signing off now.

    Post # 10
    1018 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I have never cheated, and I don’t *think* I have been cheated on. But looking back, I do wonder about one of my ex-boyfriends.

    Post # 11
    2000 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Neither for me, but Mr. Bunny was cheated on! I know he’d never do that to me because he knows just how incredibly crappy it feels.

    Post # 12
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have both cheated and been cheated on. 

    I don’t regret cheating and I never will.  I was in an impossibly bad relationship with an obsessive, needy guy who would never have left me alone if I had tried to break up with him in a normal way. 

    Toward the end, he would call me 20 times in one night while I was out with friends and freak out if I didn’t answer. 

    All through our relationship, he maintained daily contact with multiple female "best friends," one of whom was his ex, even after I told him I wasn’t comfortable with this. 

    He got mad at me for not being able to talk to him because I needed to study (we were long-distance while I was away at school and had agreed from the start that school came first.  I got A’s. He failed three classes in the first year).

    He got mad at me for not coming home often enough (I didn’t have the money to just plunk down for a plane ticket whenever he wanted me to). 

    His father made fun of me all the time for my strange eating habits (I had an eating disorder), and he never defended me.  Toward the end of the relationship, when we started getting in a lot of fights, he used his knowledge of my ED against me because he knew that was the only way he could really upset me.

    When we were in the same town and hung out at night, if I said that I was tired and ready to go home and go to bed, he would physically restrain me from leaving his house/car if he wasn’t ready for me to leave yet.

    The few times that I tried to break up with him, he cried and begged me to change my mind.  I was afraid that he would continue to call me all the time and beg me to take him back, or that he would do physical harm to himself or to me if I ended it.  He truly acted as if the end of our relationship would be the end of the world.  He truly believed we were going to get married even though he knew I didn’t want to.   It really reached a point where we were emotionally abusive to each other, but he didn’t want it to end, and I didn’t know *how* to end it.  Who gets into a situation like that at 19, seriously? I think, in the end, the only way I knew of to end his attachment to me was to do something that would make him not want me anymore, so I did. 

    After we finally did break up, and he was aware of my cheating, he told me he had cheated on me, too, almost a year earlier.  I remember the girl and I remember suspecting them and him denying it.  I wish I would have found out then, so I could have just broken up with him much sooner and never cheated as I did. But I don’t regret it.  I am so much better off now than I ever was with him, and I never would have gotten into that relationship if I’d known what it would turn into. 

    I did not cheat with the intention of hurting him, even though I knew I would.  I cheated because I was genuinely happy with the other guy, in a way I’d never been with the previous guy.  And the guy I cheated with? He’s my Fiance. We’ve been together three years.

    Post # 14
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Obviously I was cheated on..you’ll find that out if you read my responses to brides here who are cheated on!  It’s a COWARDLY thing to do btw especially when you’re married.  Plus that I’m going to be an encore bride kinda gives it away.


    Post # 15
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I haven’t cheated but have been cheated on.  It was devastating and it was something that took a VERY long time to get over.  I also stupidly hooked up with this ex several times after we broke up even though I knew he had a gf.  I justified it by telling myself that he was my bf first and it wa okay since he started "talking" to her while we were still together — I know, I know, what was I thinking! 

    Post # 16
    1514 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    My ex husband cheated on me with a co-worker.  They’re still together and now have a baby together.  I have never cheated on someone.

    The topic ‘Have you cheated or been cheated on?’ is closed to new replies.

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