(Closed) have you committed a wedding faux pas?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh man, hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20.

I didn’t have really any experience with weddings before planning my own, but apparently I have committed a major faux pas without even realizing it.  People that I have no intention of inviting to the wedding have asked about it, and of course we end up talking specifics and they have even given me ideas on some things.  I found out a couple months ago on the Bee that your not supposed to talk about the wedding to people who aren’t invited.  I think this is totally ridiculous – what am I supposed to do, run away in the other direction when someone whose not invited asks me about it???  Since invites aren’t going out for a couple months, i figure I have some time before I have to deal with it, but I just plan on telling people since we’re paying for th wedding ourselves, we have to keep the guest list to a minimum so we’re only inviting close friends and family.  If they don’t like it, I guess they’ll just have to deal.

I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty forward and tell it like it is. If you really want to come, then I guess your gonna have to pay your own way cuz I ain’t made of money!

UGH sorry had to go off on a rant there for a minute, this has really been bothering me.  I don’t know what would make someone think just cuz I’m discussing my wedding with them it automatically means their invited.  Its one reason I’ll be glad when the whole thing is over with

Post # 4
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

That’s funny because I don’t think it’s taboo to talk about your wedding to people you don’t intend on inviting. I know I had tons of friends and family ask me about my wedding but couldn’t invite because of budget constraints, so of course I talked to them about it! I wouldn’t bring up my wedding outright, but if the topic came up, then I would talk about it. If someone asks, I think that’s the green light to discuss your wedding. I can see it being a faux pas if you bring up the wedding yourself though when talking with someone not on the guest list.

My wedding faux pas was having open seating at my wedding. I had a guest list of 50 people. I didn’t do this on purpose. It was more because I ran out of time and didn’t have the chance to make the escort cards since I had only 3 months to plan the wedding and made all of the stationery myself. It didn’t turn out too badly though. All our guests sat wherever they wanted and those who didn’t know each other made some new friends! I wouldn’t suggest it to anyone though…haha.

Post # 5
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Once I didn’t RSVP to my cousin’s wedding.  They sent it to the wrong address and I got the invite jammed in my door a bit later, then forgot about it.  I haven’t seen my cousin since i was like 9 anyway (i’m 26) so I was surprised I was invited.  She lives 1000 miles away.

As for talking to people about your wedding when you don’t plan on inviting them? Don’t bring them into the details, but if they ask you, tell them.  Either they want to know, or want an invite.  But if someone’s fishing for an invite w/out considering why they didn’t get one, would you be more inclined to invite them? no.

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