(Closed) have you ever ?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll:
    i was cheated on. : (79 votes)
    29 %
    i was the one doing the cheating. : (36 votes)
    13 %
    both : (61 votes)
    22 %
    neither : (100 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 3
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    An ex-boyfriend cheated on me when I was 15. I found out about a month after the baby he had with her was born.

    My ex-husband cheated on me with my best friend at the time. 

    I haven’t cheated on anyone. I just can’t do it.

    Post # 4
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Nobody cheated on me. That I know of…Cool

    And I couldn’t cheat on anyone else, it’s not right!


    Post # 5
    2539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I was dating this guy and he thought it was serious… i did not. So I was seeing/dating someone else also. I was young…. and we never talked about what we “were”. So… he still likes to tell people i cheated on him… what ever tickles your pickle sir Tongue Out

    Post # 6
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I haven’t been cheated on (that I know of).

    I have cheated before. It was the sign for me that the relationship was over. I broke up with my then boyfriend shortly after. After that incident, I made sure to pay more attention to my feelings and whether my needs were met in a relationship, and also to communicate more with my partner. I realise that it was very unfair and it made me see that I have to work on the relationship before it even gets that far.


    Post # 7
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I have been cheated on:

    One was in a LDR, the other was because the guy was a Sociopath, and the other thought I was “too skinny”….. honestly though (when I caught them) it was a breath of fresh air everytime. Sure I was hurt at first, but after I realized I was pretty damn lucky to find that out and get out of that crumby relationship.

    I have been the other woman:

    I was dating a guy and did not know that he had a girlfriend. He took me out on dates and we made out on several occassions (never slept with him). I just got into making a myspace profile finally and looked him up to add him as a friend. There he was in a taken relationship with pictures of his very pretty girlfriend.

    I did not call him out on it at first. I wanted to wait to see him so I can yell at his face. (Yes, I am vicious like that). He comes to pick me up and I do not know what came over me. I was screaming terrible things and calling him a pig. He then started jumping to excuses, “But she is horrible, we fight all the time, you are so cool, blah blah blah…” I said I did not want to hear it and not to talk to me ever again! Of course, he tried a few months later when they broke up. I laughed at him (again, I am vicious…)

    Post # 8
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Yeah, I was cheated on. It was a hot mess and I vowed to NEVER put up with it again, it killed my self esteem and it made it difficult for me to trust other people. I assumed everyone was going to hurt me.

    Post # 9
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I voted neither…but I guess I don’t know what could have happened behind my back. I was engaged to a marine for 16 months and didn’t see him the whole time, so who knows. He ended up breaking it off over FB with no real good reason, so maybe he had been with someone else…maybe not. I’ll never know, and don’t really care at this point 🙂

    Post # 10
    902 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My daughter’s sperm donor cheated on me constantly.  I was young and stupid and had such low self esteem, plus the fact that he was physically abusive just made me feel it was all my fault and that I deserved it because I couldn’t make him happy.

    I look back at so many things that were red flags and I know I wouldn’t put up with any of that again.  The stories I could tell.. but one stands out to me.

    When I say a liar I mean a LIAR in all aspects.  Just one month after I had my daughter was his birthday, he wanted to go canoing and I wasn’t willing because I wasn’t cleared from doctor and really didn’t want to because hello I’m a new mom she needs me!

    Anywho, he brought my young cousin and his brother with him.  Got back that evening and told me all about it.  Said he had pictures he could show me once he got them developed and had some on his digi cam he’d upload the next day and whatnot. And he did, figured everything was dandy.. so not the case.

    About a month or so later a girl calls the house (I was living with my parents still) and she said she was “Lucy” (don’t remember her name so we’ll call her that) and she was looking for “Joe” (my cousin…not his real name).  I told her he didn’t live here but I could try to get ahold of him for her to have him call her.  I asked her her name again and she said “I’m Lucy, tell him I’m one of the girls the went canoing with a few weeks ago”. 

    Now of course.. I asked her all kinds of questions because HELLO it was suppose to have been just my ex, cousin and his brother.  No one ever mentioned girls were going!

    Well… long story short…

    Ex picked up these girls that his brother knew (underage mind you), and they all went canoing.  The pictures that he showed me off his digi camera were pictures he took offline from the website of the place they went and the pictures they developed he said that the photo place said they could only savage a few but of course that was a lie he only showed me the ones that didn’t have the girls in them.

    I found the negatives and looked at them and sure enough, them hugging on these young girls and having a merry ol’ time.  But of course I was stupid and took him back because he swore up and down they were my cousin’s friends and his brother wanted them to go along that he was just being “nice”


    Post # 11
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have cheated and have also been the other woman.  It was all in HS and I have always regretted it because I did hurt people and dragged them along (while being dragged along myself) but they were mistakes and I have grown, learned and moved on.

    Post # 12
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yes to both. 

    I cheated on an ex, because I was unhappy in the relationship.  It wasn’t the right thing to do.  I would never condone it.  I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself.  I am still ashamed of my behavior and would never do it again.  I knew it was wrong.  I came clean to the ex.  We weren’t able to fix things and not just because of the cheating.  At that point our relationship was beyond repair, but we did try.

    I later got involved with the man I was cheating with.  I married him.  It was a big mistake.  He had cheated on his ex with me.  He made me believe he wasn’t happy in that relationship and that falling for me was beyond his control.  I figured out a few years later that he just liked cheating.  He had this unhealthy need for attention from more than one person at all times.  It wasn’t like I didn’t give him any attention or sex either.  I found out he was was having an affair with a friend he rode the train with everyday for work.  He also had several online relationships at the same time.  I read some of his emails and Facebook messages to these women.  He fed them all the same bull crap he gave me when I met him.  He painted me out to be this horribly neglectful wife.  When in reality, I did everything he asked me to do and more.  He behaved like a spoiled child throughout our entire relationship.  When I found out he was cheating and showed him I had proof, he quickly turned it around and placed the blame on me.  Having been on the other side of cheating previously, I knew it was nonsense.  When I cheated, I knew it was my fault.  I made the choice to do it.  I accepted responsibilty for my actions.  He refused.  He said “I’m sorry” with a “but” attached to it…always.  I know now he was abusive emotionally and verbally towards me.   I truly believe to this day he has some type of personality disorder.  Though, he will never admit that and seek professional help.

    So there you have it.  I think most people cheat due to unhappiness in a relationship.  Then there are some like my ex. Those who do it either because they like to or they hate themselves or there is some problem deep within their psyche.

    Post # 13
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My DD’s father I’m 95% sure cheated on me while I was pregnant.  I could never prove it, but the red flags were ALL there.  Every single one.  There was an excuse for every bit of his behavior and whereabouts and the lies were abundant.  It ultimately lead to our breakup.  I didn’t want Dirty Delete to grow up in a home like this. 

    Post # 14
    1576 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Yes to both. When I cheated, it was near the end of a dying relationship. I would be lying if I said I felt guilty about it.

    Post # 15
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’ve never cheated (and never would – if you’re unhappy, man up and end the relationship first).

    And I’ve never been cheated on either (at least, not to my knowledge).

    Post # 16
    235 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013


    My Boyfriend or Best Friend in HS/College cheated on me with a close friend. Strangely, she and I were able to fix our relationship, while he and I weren’t.

    My ex-husband is an alcoholic who had no interest in intimacy.  He refused to see there was a problem, wouldn’t go to counseling with or without me, wouldn’t see a doctor, and after 13 years of it I basically checked out and formed a brief emotional relationship with someone online.  It was never physical cheating (it was long distance) but it was emotional and it reminded me that I was still alive. I filed for divorce shortly after because I knew that things wouldn’t get better if the ex wasn’t willing to make an effort, and because realized I deserve better. And no, I didn’t tell the ex about it. It wouldn’t have done any good, and it would have hurt him unnecessarily. Even if I wanted/needed to divorce him for my own good, it didn’t mean I wanted to cause him extra pain on top of it.

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