(Closed) Have you ever attended a wedding and not given a gift?

posted 11 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Have you ever attended a wedding and not given a gift?

    If I attend a wedding, I always give some sort of gift to the couple

    I've attended at least one wedding where my card wishing the couple many good years was my gift

    I've attended at least one wedding where I came completely empty-handed

    I've never attended a wedding but have a compulsive need to answer polls

  • Post # 18
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I always give at least a little something; often times it ends up being a gift card that the couple can definitely use.

    Post # 19
    48 posts
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The only time I ever attended a wedding without a gift was my cousin’s wedding.  I DID have a card. I had just had a baby  (3 weeks before) and gotten married myself (3 months before).  I played with the idea of giving her the Lenox photo album she gave me as a wedding gift, considering it was given to her originally as a shower gift. (The card was in one of the photo pages. I never mentioned it to her.) But I didn’t. I just wished her well and laughed inside.

    Post # 20
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @redherring: Thank you!! Thats what I hope most couples think…that they would rather have me there without a gift then not at all and send them a gift!

    Post # 23
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I did once, to the first wedding I went to as an adult. I didn’t know any better.

    Post # 24
    8246 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If I can’t afford travel/lodging/etc costs AND the cost of a gift, I don’t go to the wedding.  I couldn’t imagine EVER not giving a gift (and not just a card, an actual registry gift).  And I also give a gift even if I can’t attend.

    And honestly, people say they’d rather have the guest’s presence than a gift but I would be so uncomfortable the entire event if I attended without giving one that it just isn’t an option in my mind.

    Post # 25
    3674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I always have a gift, even if I don’t go.

    Post # 26
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Technically, yes I’ve doen this twice but both times I gave a shower gift and had to buy plane tickets and hotel rooms for two nights to attend the wedding. At that point I considered my presense the ‘wedding present’.

    Post # 27
    1741 posts
    Bumble bee

    I did this once but it was to a destination wedding and the couple particuarly asked us not to get them gifts due to the cost of travel and lodging. I am still thinking about sending them something as we are still in the 365 day mark and I bought them a present that requires some DIY which I have not yet completed.


    Post # 28
    415 posts
    Helper bee

    Sometimes, I rather just give a gift than go. I felt slightly guilty I couldn’t make it to a good friend’s wedding- didn’t have the vacation time, and there is no airport- I would have had to drive for 2 days to get there…. so I gave engagement/RSVP decline gift, and a wedding gift. Still spent exponentially less than if I had actually attended.

    The most I didn’t give was because I was a “stand-in” guest. My date bought a gift-card and signed my name along with it- it wasn’t the most generous but the airfare/hotel was enough money spent. 

    Post # 29
    3292 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I am ashamed to say that yes, when I was younger and in school I attended 2 family weddings where I gave nothing, not even a card. I would never do that now, no matter how broke I’m feeling–but I think back then I just had no clue (and also, honestly, no money).

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