(Closed) Have you ever been invited to a wedding without your SO?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2007

I’ve never been invited to a wedding without my Darling Husband, but he was invited to one without me. It was when we were first engaged, I didn’t know the couple and it was an intimate afternoon wedding, so I was not offended. 

Post # 33
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

Yes, to a wedding I was actually a bridesmaid for.  I had been dating a guy for a year and was a little miffed at first that he wasn’t invited. But to be honest, I was close enough to it to know how much my friend was struggling financially to pull off her wedding. Bad feelings about it didn’t last. And ultimately, me and the guy broke up so… yeah :-).

Post # 34
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was invited to a wedding without my (now) Fiance in the summer of 2012–and I opted out because a) it was in MA and I live in CA, and b) I didn’t want to attend a wedding without him. The bride was a sort-of cousin (dad’s stepfather’s nephew’s daughter), so I was only invited out of courtesy. 

I’m still kind of irked by this because my father asked me to extend an invite to her and her husband for my wedding this fall. One bad turn does not deserve another, I suppose, but I’m hoping they don’t come.

Post # 35
Member
2049 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@cbgg:  Haven’t had this happen (yet) but if it did I wouldn’t go without him.

Post # 36
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, just last year.  I was invited before I met SO though, and I was a bridesmaid.  Besides that, it was one of those super budget, only +1s allowed are spouses kinda wedding, so I went along with it.  In future…well, I hope my other friends won’t have similar kinds of weddings! :S

Post # 37
Member
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@cbgg:  Yes, I have been. It was before we were engaged, but still we had lived together for 3 years by then. I was invited together with my parents, to my mother’s cousin’s wedding. I went, because I hardly ever get to go to weddings, and I was somewhat aware that sometimes people who aren’t “officially” together (engaged or married) are not considered a unit and therefore aren’t invited together.

I was definitely annoyed but I knew it was rude to call and ask if my Fiance (then SO) could come, so I went with my parents and had fun anyway.

Now that we are engaged, well, it’s different. If I was invited to a wedding without him, I would only go if it was a very close friend’s wedding, and I would be insulted (and so would my FI). If it was not a close friend’s wedding, I would probably not go at all.

 

Post # 38
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes. A few times. The first, we weren’t dating when she did guest lists. I went to her ceremony and skipped the reception (there was a 5 hour gap and an hour drive involved, for a black tie event).

Another was a friend from HS. My best friend was invited so we went together.

The third was a close friend and my ex boyfriend was in the wedding. I think this was more of an oversight but in this case I did contact the bride and ask if he was included. I would not have driven an hour and a half, alone, through back roads, without him. It would have also made him uncomfortable with my ex there. He was welcome, we went, it was a fun time.

So, circumstances would make me consider if I would attend. We’re married now, so I don’t foresee this being an issue anymore, but we probably wouldn’t attend if both weren’t invited.

Post # 39
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yes and I didn’t give a flying fuck. People who won’t go to things because their Fiance or H isn’t invited and ZOMG don’t you know how rude that is?! make me want to poke my eyes out. 

Post # 40
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve never been invited to anything without my husband (since we became a couple) except for girl-only events. if I was, I wouldn’t go. We are a unit.

 

Post # 41
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have been to several weddings without my significant other.

Some of the weddings were cousins and some were friends.

One friend could not afford guests to bring plus ones so I was not upset.  I actually had a great time at the wedding because it allowed me to catch up with people and not have to worry about the SO being bored (the only person he would have known there was me).

I am not a huge fan of bridal party bringing plus ones.  Plus ones seem to get in the way (especially if they know no one at the wedding besides his/her date).  I find that bridal party members sometimes get distracted by the plus one.  (The groomsmen in my wedding were all married…. and their wives were pains in the butt.  Two of them made the boys late to photos because they were hungry and needed their husbands to get them food…… the hotel had a place for lunch)

I sometimes like to go alone especially if I know there will be alot of people at the wedding I know.  Sometimes it is fun to catch up with people without having to worry about or entertain the SO.

 

I think plus ones has become too big of an issue in this day and age.  People seem to jump ship way too quick when a plus one is not included.  If a person is not traveling far, staying overnight, etc for a wedding, can’t they just suck it up for a few hours being without their SO??????? I think people need to give the bride and groom some credit and some slack…..I highly doubt brides and grooms do not allow plus ones to be mean….. It is really probably out of necessity (space and money)……

 

 

 

 

Post # 42
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I have been invited to a best friends wedding without my SO. I was in the bridal party and knew a few good people there so I wasn’t left alone and lonely.

I think she was a little worried about explaining about her no +1’s to me. It really didn’t matter. The ceremony reception was small and same with the dinner. I was just honored to be included and thought of for her big day! Later- after the dinner- everyone was invited to come out and dance with them- as it was in a sortof dance club.

What mattered was making sure SHE had those that were important to HER (and the groom of course).

Post # 43
Member
9754 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Fiance and I started dating January 2009, my cousin got married September 2009. I was invited to her wedding without him, I thought nothing of it. I went with my immediate family, my aunt and my grandmother, and had a good time.

Post # 44
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

I was invited to a wedding without my then-SO once, but I was much younger (23), it was with a bunch of college friends, and I just didn’t think that much of it.  The bride and I hadn’t kept in touch a ton since we graduated, so I’m not sure she really knew about him.  Other girls from college were there with their boyfriends and said I should have just asked if my SO could come.  It never occurred to me, and even if it had, I think I would have figured it was rude to ask.

Personally, if a wedding was VERY small and intimate and the couple was struggling to save money, I’d be fine if my SO wasn’t invited.  But if the couple knew of him and had just chosen to draw the line at non-spouses, not living together, etc., I’d be annoyed.  If it wasn’t a close friend or family, I may not attend.  If they were close, I’d probably suck it up and deal.

As for bringing random dates, I generally follow my mom’s etiquette that you don’t “find” a date to a wedding.  If you have someone, bring them, if not, don’t go finding a date, regardless of whether you were invited “and guest”.

 

Post # 45
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

I was invited to my friend’s sibling’s wedding without my fiance and was fine with it. My fiance has also been invited to a work colleague’s wedding without me and tbh I wasn’t bothered. That said, I would never invite only one half of a couple as it’s pretty rude to expect someone to celebrate your relationship while snubbing theirs!

Post # 46
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Trilly:  I agree and it really rubs me the wrong way that apparently these days it’s perfectly ok for couples to sit there, apparently discuss it and make a judgement on it. How do those conversations go?

Should Cindy Lou get a +1?

Well her guy has been around a minute.

Yeah, but they’re not engaged.

Well no, but I think they’re f*ing.

I heard tell they may get an apt.

I mean really, has it come down to THIS these days?

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