(Closed) Have you ever been scared of your partner?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am OBSESSED with these shows! I’m pretty sure Darling Husband is concerned it’s actually an unhealthy obsession. My whole family makes fun of me for it.

But, on topic, no – I have never, ever, ever been scared of Darling Husband, and if I ever was, I would leave. He so rarely even gets angry that I can’t imagine a switch going off of any kind.

Post # 17
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

My husband I have never been afraid of, and I’d like to think that I would leave if that ever happened.

 

However, during my first few years of college I was involved with a guy who, in retrospect was very dangerous. He tried to kill me twice and stopped himself (choked me unconscious but let go before I died, etc). I was in such a bad place mentally and emotionally that I used to beg him not to get caught if he ever snapped and killed me, because *I* didn’t want to ruin *his* life.

Post # 19
Member
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

annonymous243:  The only time I’ve ever been scared of Fiance was when he would yell early in our relationship. I associate yelling with violence and so when he would yell it would really frighten me. He was never yelling at me, usually at traffic or something stupid. Thankfully, when I explained how upset it made me he made every effort to keep that under control. I can’t imagine that he would ever flip a switch on me though, we just don’t have that sort of volatile relationship. I think in the majority of the cases I’ve seen on these shows the relationships were always super “Passionate” read: bat shit crazy.

Post # 20
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

Fiance is the most caring and kind person I’ve ever met. He doesn’t get mad. When he’s upset he just kinda looks at me with these sad disappointed eyes and it just breaks my heart. 

That said I’ve never been scared he would hurt me but I’ve been scared he’d be upset and give me the sad eyes when i did something wrong. The worst thing I can think of is when I spilled wax all over our white carpet. I was so afraid he would yell at me and get actually upset, but he didnt lol

Post # 21
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been scared for my SO before, but never sacred of him. A huge part of why I fell (and stay) in love with him is his gentleness and his ability to keep his ego in check. He loses his temper occasionally like anyone else, but cools off quickly and is someone who prefers to talk problems out and find a solution (instead of prove himself right) as soon as possible.

Post # 22
Member
36 posts
Newbee

There was one time when I thought my man was going to kill me…

I had been pissed off at him because he was always playing on his xbox. Like, I come home from work with the dogs still in their crates, but he’s been sitting playing xbox for an hour. I go up to bed, he stumbles in at one in the morning because he was on his xbox. I was so sick of it! So one time, I marched down and I took some clippers to the power plug. 

He, at first, thought it was a joke. Then, he noticed it wouldn’t work. Woopsy. I could see the devil in his eyes! I just booked it! I ran upstairs and locked the bedroom door thinking “what have I done?!” And he came up and pounded on the door and then backed me into a corner. He said, “If you wanted attention, you could’ve asked for it. Not break my $400 xbox.” and then went to best buy to get another one.

Lol. He would never hurt me! But for a second, when I heard his feet marching up the stairs, I was terrified!

Post # 23
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I was scared of him once. I did something bad (lied to him about money) and thought he’d react horribly. I don’t know why I was scared, but I thought he’d hit me because I thought I deserved it. He did no such thing, but I was scared.

Now I know he’d never hurt a hair on my head, he’s far too lovely. 

Post # 24
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space

I watch so many true crime shows (and funny enough I’m watching a husband/wife episode of Dateline as I type this lol) that it made my Fiance curious and he actually looked up why women tend to be obsessed with them lol and now he teases me all the time.

But no – I have never been scared of him. I get startled when he sneezes sometimes, but thankfully never anything serious. 

Post # 25
Member
20 posts
Newbee

Yes… my EX. Who is an ex for a reason. He was a police officer with a drinking problem and also had a sleeping problem(due to him working nights)  He would take sleeping medicine, but not go to sleep right away and then would have a few drinks, black out, and get this crazy look in his eyes. He also would leave his gun on his nightstand which made me really uneasy.  Towards the end, I spent 3 months trying to get him to break up with me because I was scared what he would do to me if I broke up with him. Alas, it didn’t work & I started to move my things out little by little (without him noticing) then one day, my sister came with me to grab the rest of it while he was at work But his neighbor called him and told him what was going on and he came home while we were there. He was considerably calm since my sister was there so I was thankful to have her by my side that Day. I used to waitress at night and after we broke up, and he came into work towards the end of my shift. I agreed to talk with him .. The conversation got heated and he threw a beer bottle at the wall.  Months before that, he threw me by my shirt collar onto a couch during an argument while we were on vacation.(I am 5’2″ 105lbs  and he was 6’4″ about 225lbs) i knew if I stayed that it was only going to get worse.  Thankfully I didn’t have any physical scars from him but the emotional scars were rough. 

years and years later.. I would have reoccurring nightmares where he was attacking me and my now husband would save me from him. i havent had a nightmare in a while so it’s gotten better. 

my husband barely drinks (will maybe have a beer  out with friends ) but rarely gets angry. When we argue, it’s constructive . I’m very thankful for him 

Post # 26
Member
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Dateline scares the bejeezus out of me! Darling Husband has always been a very nice, gentlemanly guy. I’ve never thought he could be one of those guys.

Post # 27
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

I have only been scared of SO once.. we were in bed, asleep and he grabbed me by the neck and told me to “shut the f*ck up” – I woke him up and told him what he did and he was so upset and crying.. he was asleep so can’t hold it against him!

Post # 28
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

annonymous243:  I have considered the possibility of Darling Husband flipping on me due to potential future PTSD from his job. I don’t think he’d “flip” on me for any other reason, so with his very stressful job, I’m on the lookout after any major incidents for signs of PTSD.

On a lighter note, I love those shows. Lately I’ve been hooked on “The first 48”, and I saw one last week where a pregnant teen hired a hit man to kill her boyfriend/baby daddy because she was annoyed that he didn’t want her friends living with them. The denial from her parents on that one is insane! 

I don’t think Darling Husband or I could realistically get mad enough to kill the other in the heat of the moment. We don’t fight much to begin with, and mostly when we do we just think the other person is being stupid. 

Post # 29
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

SilverWire:  so glad you got away from that,  bee!

areyouthebride:  Well? Why are we obsessed with them? I’d love to know. I bet it’s the drama.

Post # 30
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I was scared of my ex at times, he was emotionally abusive and on occasion would get slightly physical. He was a pathological liar and I just couldn’t trust him at all. 

I’m so glad to be with someone I could never feel afraid of now. 

The topic ‘Have you ever been scared of your partner?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors