(Closed) Have you ever been tempted?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have had a crush here and there, usually during a rough patch. But to put myself in a position to act on it, no. 

Post # 4
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

There are always going to be men around that I’m attracted to. I also work in a male dominated field so I’m going to be surrounded by men (mostly unattractive to me, but definitely some cuties in there) for the rest of my career. However, I know that my SO and I get along so fantastically and have many of the same goals in common, a similar personality in some ways and a complementary personality in others…I just know that the grass is not greener on the other side, and I’m happy most of the time.

There’s also something I heard about the 80/20 rule? Where many people leave a relationship/stray when they’re 80% satisfied to get that 20%, but in the end they only have that 20%. Not worth it IMO. Plus, cheating is a deal breaker for both of us. Trust is very very rarely rebuilt after something like that.

Post # 5
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wanna see Temptation so badly! Looks really good. <3

I’ve never been in a situation where I have been tempted. *shrugs*

I’ll joke with my Fiance that someone is hot, but me actually acting out on it? I am too much of a scariedy cat to even try to do something as talking to another man with the intention of anything happening. 

I am a really shy person by nature, and I brag about my Fiance way too much, so any guy within 2 minutes of meeting me would know I am taken in all sense of the word! 

Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee

Interesting topic. I started dating my SO at 17, so I always assumed in the back of my mind that I’d eventually meet someone else who would tempt me away from him. Even with that assumption, no one I’ve met has come close to tempting me. I still figure that someday I may experience a crush on a living human being other than my SO, but now I have the life experience to be sure I don’t want to trade him in 😉 haha

Post # 7
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wasn’t sure what the specific temptation was that you’re describing…I’m tempted to eat brownies right now!! But I’ve never been tempted to cheat on my partner – I love him and, before I met him, I viewed myself as basically asexual, so to actually be attracted to someone or want to have a relationship with them is pretty out there for me (makes my fiance just that much more special, though!).

For me, I cannot be sexually attracted to someone without knowing them at all first – and I’m not attracted to anyone who thinks that cheating is “okay” so I wouldn’t be able to cheat on my partner anyway.

Post # 8
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely not. I might be of an unpopular opinion here but I think that if you are able to be tempted then maybe you aren’t in the right relationship. 

Post # 9
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am not tempted because when men try to come to me I judge every man I meet by my FI’s character, morales, and integrity and they dont measure up. I am happy to have him in my life and him being the man he is has spoiled me from wanting to be with anyone but him. 

Post # 10
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

There will always be men I am physically attracted to. That’s just how the human brain works. But I have not been tempted to cheat or stray from my husband. There is a difference between being emotionally tempted and physically tempted. If I am ever emotionally tempted, my husband and I have something we need to work on.

Post # 11
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes and no, i guess. I’ve never been tempted enough that I seriously considered acting on it or started to act on it. There are always people that I’m going to find attractive – whether it’s later today or when I’m 80. That’s just how i am. I see nothing wrong with looking at them too! I usually look for about a second and then think about how I’m happy w/ what I have! THe last time i had any flickering temptation, the person started talking and that ended my little mini-crush right then and there. He was an idiot. Early on in our relationship (less than a year), I met someone who is well known in my field at a conference. mind you, Ive idolized this guy for years. I just think he’s really great and even the stuff I disagree on, it really gets me thinking. SO i got to meet him. And he’s just as great in person, and physically very much my type. He’s so kind and great. And I was tempted to flirt. (However, I do know he’s happily married – there’s a fair amount of people in my field who are easy to get into bed, and there’s a few that are well known to cheat on their spouses. One in particular loves undergrads. But anyway). Had this guy shown any interest in my romantically, I would have walked my butt on up to my hotel room and tossed myself into a cold bath. Instead, we talked about our respective current areas of study, and actually ended up talking about personal relationships. I don’t think I told my partner the whole story until last year when he bought me the guy’s book…. and had emailed him so he’d autograph it!! (side note: that book has a lot on relationships, so it was super funny to me). So I guess that was sort of temptatioin? haha

Post # 12
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, however my SO and I have a relationship dynamic that accepts that we’re attracted to other people and encourages open dialogue about such attractions and interests. We’re both human beings, and especially as a long distance couple, we’re going to feel attractions to others – it’s normal and natural, and I frankly question anyone who says they DON’T have attractions or desire for people other than their SO – even fleetingly.

 

Post # 13
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Hyperventilate:  “There will always be men I am physically attracted to. That’s just how the human brain works. But I have not been tempted to cheat or stray from my husband.”

Same here.  To me, there is a HUGE difference in noticing that someone is attractive and actually being tempted to cheat on my Darling Husband.  I can notice hot guys and not have any desire to actually act on anything.

Post # 14
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@niasg1:  I am the same way. It doesn’t matter what anyone else looks like, or how they act towards me; no one can compare to my Darling Husband. 🙂

I was tempted in previous relationships all the time. I hated it. Darling Husband is the ONLY man to make me feel 100% amazing and appreciated. I truly, honestly don’t want anyone else but him!

Post # 15
Member
9947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can objectively look at a man and think if he’s attractive or not.  But to actually be tempted  by another man?  I can’t imagine it.  I’m too much in love with my husband.  Even the thought of another man touching me makes me feel sick and disgusted.  So, nope, I’ve never been tempted since I met my husband.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

When I was with my ex I was tempted. I would see other guys and wonder what they would be like as a boyfriend/husband and wish that I had someone different. It was a strange feeling.

With my SO now I have never ever been tempted. Sure, I see hot guys and talk to nice guys but I can’t imagine actually being with anyone other than who I am with.

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