Have you ever been to a boring wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 16
Member
7128 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, I’ve been to a lot of boring weddings – but I’m a wedding photographer so my number is probably pretty biased based on that. I will be totally honest, every boring wedding I’ve been to/photographed have generally been dry weddings. It’s all about managing your expectations.

There is nothing wrong with a dry wedding, provided you are planning accordingly. The ones that tend to “bomb” (for lack of a better word) are the ones where couples try to plan a traditionally evening wedding. I can’t tell you how many of those I’ve photographed where everyone is leaving by 7:30/8:00pm because they’re bored. Once dinner is over, you can only sit around talking for so long before you’re just over it. Usually the receptions never take off because without alcohol and the party atmosphere people tend to get bored and just leave early. Sure there are plenty of people that don’t need alcohol to have fun, but there’s just something about a reception that people don’t really get into the party spirit unless they are drinking and have good music.

I’ve had one dry wedding in my 10 years as a wedding photographer that everyone had a good time. And you know? It was a brunch wedding. They did a morning ceremony followed by a brunch reception. They did have mimosas but it was NOT a drinking crowed…just brunch, light music in the back, and conversation. The reception lasted an appropriate amount of time (I think like 2 hours) and then everyone headed out.

Post # 17
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I would provide some other activities- such as lawn games- for guests to do since dancing for me is something I only do with a few drinks in me. I’ve been to one wedding I would consider boring- but there was no dancing at all- on purpose. Long religious ceremony, then dinner, and people headed out after that. I had a good time, but like another poster said- it wasn’t the party I was talking about for months. 

Post # 18
Hostess
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Each to their own. I can have a good time without booze but I feel a dry wedding may be a tad boring but if it was for religious reasons then fair enough. As a non Christian though I would probably have a major issue with the music and would be bored and probably a bit peeved.

Post # 19
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

So because you’re Christian, you have to have ALL Christian music? But hey, I have to respect that since that is what your Fiance believe but sorry, I find it a bit strange (I consider myself Christian). Noone is saying you have to have lil Wayne or ‘Baby got back’ type of music but I personally dont understand why non raunchy but non Christian music is not okay.

And didn’t Jesus himself turn water into WINE at a wedding? So if it’s good enough for Jesus…

Post # 20
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

I have never been to a dry wedding before.  

The only wedding I could think was boring to me was a cousin’s wedding.   We were just there for the ceremony there was no real reception except for drinks and dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  There were speeches but that was it.   It was bland.

I have been to two weddings in one year where each had a boring side.   My best friend had a brilliant ceremony in a church where the priest wore magnificent robes and his attitude was amazing.   

However the reception was so dull, my SO didn’t know anyone else at the reception.   We did talk to a few people but we left around 10:30pm

My other friend her ceremony was boring it was at a strict church.   Her reception was so much fun, I didn’t mind that she had a singer instead of a DJ but got up to mischef. 

Post # 21
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

paigerino :  I love your ideas for other activities for guests to do.  Not just the usual ceremony, reception with dinner and speeches.    

Games would be so much fun.  I have seen some fun games online that is played at receptions.  The one I liked was where the couple sat back to back and someone from the crowd read questions about the couple and each had to answer if it was he/she did the event or said the quote by lifting up ken or barbie dolls.  

Looked like so much fun.

 

Post # 22
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I went to a very boring wedding.

The vows were very outdated – ex: “I vow to respect my husband as head of the household and let him make the decisions” type of thing. Which, if you believe in that, fine. But it made me uncomfortable.

There was a couple hour gap in between with no activities or refreshments, so a couple of our friends ended up going for some beers since it was an insanely hot day.

For the reception, every single person in their large wedding party had a longggg and terrible speech. They had no music or dancing, no alcohol, hardly anything to drink in general (once again, hot day). Pretty much as soon as the speeches were done everyone took off. It was awful.

I don’t need alcohol to have a good time, but I do need sufficient refreshments, and preferably something fun and entertaining.

Post # 23
Member
3988 posts
Honey bee

The two weddings I went to that were boring were both open bar, and they were still boring. I think the atmosphere you create is more important, and part of that is music. I would ask the DJ about playing songs that are dance-able but still fit into your desire to have christian music. If you can compromise and do a mix of music, but just avoid any profanities, I do think that would be better. It really has more to do with the crowd wanting to have a good time and feeling like they can cut loose.

Post # 24
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, it was an afternoon wedding (1?) if I remember correctly.  No real music except some background music (could barely hear it), no dancing, no alcohol, food was pretty bad.  Just sitting around basically.  Only good part was that it was over by 6pm.  I mean, it was okay to talk to people but it wasn’t anything really fun.  I don’t need alcohol to have a good time, I’ve gone places or festivals without it and had fun.  But there is entertainment and stuff to do at those.  Alll of that together is pretty boring for a wedding.  Sitting around making awkward small talk with strangers/acquaintances and no alcohol or dancing (people watching) is not my idea of fun.

Post # 25
Member
958 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Can you mix it up and instead of a traditional wedding, do a fun lunchtime one with outdoor games like bocce ball or croquet? Brunch? Small, intimate wedding with a firepit and people hanging out?

Post # 26
Member
958 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

kes18 : Exactly… at weddings, you tend to only know a handful of people really well unless you’re a close family member. I don’t want to sit around making small talk with someone’s relatives I’ll never see again. I can barely stand it through a wedding shower, couldn’t do it through hours and hours of a reception.

Post # 27
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I had a dry reception for religious reasons, but we had it on a Sunday evening and treated it just like a dinner party, where people just enjoyed good food, socialized and then went on their merry way early in the evening. We made *SURE* to have great food (our guests are still raving about it), and entertaining background music (it wasn’t Christian, though), and a few games people could participate in if they wanted (no forced fun). We heard from many people they loved the relaxed atmosphere (rustic, family style seating, in a barn–IMO it would have been odd to have a dinner party like this in a ballroom setting). Basically, don’t try to make a dry reception something it’s not. Like PP said, do it earlier in the day, make it clear people can leave after dinner, etc. We were fortunate that this is the norm in our circle of friends, but I think it can work even if not. Btw, the most complimentary remarks from our wedding came from a group of people who are normally heavy drinkers, the ones I thought would be the most bored. They basically implied they did not miss the alcohol at all at our wedding, and to me that was significant.

Post # 28
Member
2296 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

Frankly, most of the weddings I’ve been to were pretty boring. Sit down. Tear up. Drink a cocktail. Wiggle booty. Food, cake, goodbye. 

The exceptions were the ones where either the DJ was slammin, the Bride and Groom were the life of the party, or there was drama. Not necessarily good excitement, but definitely not boring.

Weddings are parties, but they aren’t necessarily a PARTY if you know what I mean. They can be fun without alcohol, or awful with too much. I do think broadening the playlist will be important. People like to hear music they recognize. If half your guests aren’t Christians, they’re going to feel a little lost. Some popular choices that stay rated G might go a long way toward helping people feel included.

I think the suggestion someone made for games is an excellent idea. I don’t know what the theme and style of your wedding is, but try to keep any entertainment in the same vein. I HIGHLY recommend something like Corn Hole. It’s easy to set up – even indoors – easy to play, and won’t mess up anyone’s fancy clothes. Something like badminton or croquet is also great if it’s a more casual vibe and you have outdoor space.

Another idea is to play a wedding version of Mad Libs on a big piece of poster board with an easel. You need an MC for that one; maybe the best man or MOH? Also playing “Who Said That?” You provide the guests with a ballot, you and the groom sit up front with paddles (or shoes or flags) and the MC reads out a quote, then the audience votes on who said it. You then indicate who it was with your paddle-shoe-flag. Whoever gets the most answers right wins a prize or dance with the member of the bridal couple of their choice.

You can also put up a board with pictures of the two of you, stick blank thought bubble stickers on each photo and ask people to fill them in with funny comments etc.

Ultimately, while you want your guests to enjoy themselves, this is a day about celebrating your marriage. If excluding alcohol and having only Christian music is an important statement about what your lives together will look like, than by all means do that. If instead your future looks to include a glass of wine and Kool and The Gang from time to time, you might want to throw those in there, too.

Post # 29
Member
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

HappySky7 :  Receptions are a thank you to your guests for coming to your wedding. So they should be something that the majorty should enjoy. 

 

OP, I’m sorry I would find our wedding very boring. Something like this should be an early day wedding. A friend of mine just did a lunch wedding, two hours, soft music, we ate then it was over. 

Post # 30
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

What makes most people dance? Drinking booze and listening to top 100/hip hop music. I’ve started to RSVP no to weddings that I know will be dry and super religious. Does that make me sound like an alcoholic heathen?

Just think your guests are there to support you so the least you can do is entertain them. Afterall, you found your soulmate. Sitting through a 60 minute ceremony and a three hour reception is a lot easier with alcohol. 

I’m trying to be honest, apologies if this hurts your feelings. At the end of the day, you should do you and just go with whatever makes you and your husband happy. You’re not going to please everyone! 

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