Have you ever been to a boring wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 31
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

If you occasionally drink, why did you not consider having alcohol?

In My Humble Opinion, bad music is worse* than no alcohol.

I just went to a horribly boring wedding that had alcohol, but crappy music.

Post # 32
Member
9333 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

yes, the wedding i went to on sunday was boring. after the ceremony, they pushed everyone out to lobby for 20 minutes to stand with no food or drink while they changed the room over.  cocktail area was set up, but there was no place to stand, so we had to go to our seats (i’m not good at balancing at drink on a plate and eating).  so for 45 minutes everyone sat at their and twiddled their thumbs.  then there were 5 speeches, and 3 full dances that we sat through before dinner was served.  finally music started playing, i danced a few songs with my husband.  as soon as they cut the cake, we left. and this wedding did have alcohol.  my husband had a few drinks and i am 7 months pregnant so did not drink.  but even if i did, it would not have changed my feeling. and we wanted to get home to the babysitter.

besides the people, the food and music are what make the wedding.  at my wedding, the DJ was playing current music and half the dance floor was filled.  as soon as i told him to switch it over to hits every generation could enjoy, the dance floor was packed the rest of the night. 

so i will say, that music choice will play a role in how much you want your family and friends to dance.

Post # 33
Member
844 posts
Busy bee

I recently went to a boring wedding.  It started 45 min late.  Then the bridal party disappeared for 3 hours for photos.  It was brutal.  We left as soon as we could without seeming rude. Plenty of booze, music was pretty good but so disorganized no one knew what was going on.

Post # 34
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Also- one of the most fun weddings I went to was a low key celebration then brunch the next morning. It was in northern minnesota, and we all went canoeing down the brule river after. It was incredibly fun, and all the guests got to know each other pretty well. Obviously, not everyone went canoeing, but it was super cool to see a super unique optional activity like that. 

Post # 35
Member
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Yes I’ve been to a boring wedding. But I will say, all the other guests looked like they were having fun. I think it was just hubby and I that didn’t. It was a Polish wedding and we were literally the only guests there that weren’t Polish. All the music was Polish. Most of the speeches were given in Polish. There was a ton of booze there (vodka bottles on every table) but I had to be up super early the next day because I had movers coming so I didn’t drink. That probably would’ve helped me relax a bit and have a better time. It was just kind of an awkward situation in general because the only people we knew there were the bride and groom and obviously it’s not like they could spend all night talking to us. It’s the only wedding we’ve been to where we’ve left early. 

Post # 36
Member
7222 posts
Busy Beekeeper

So there is nothing wrong with a dry wedding. But it just isn’t going to be a party atmosphere. I will not be dancing at a dry wedding. I will not be dancing to Christian music. 

I would do this as a brunch or lunch wedding and I think it’d be perfectly fine. As an evening wedding? I’d be headed out after dinner. 

eta – A PP makes a good point – if you both drink, why are you excluding alcohol for the rest of your guests??

Post # 37
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

I love going to weddings and generally really enjoy myself at them, even if I barely know anyone.  I think I mostly like them because I get to kick back have a few drinks, socialize and meet new people, and dance.  I don’t have many other social occasions that come up in my life that allow me to go dancing…and I’m a little old for the club scene lol.

I have literally never been to a boring wedding, but that said, your wedding sounds like it might be a stretch if it is a 5 hour reception on a Friday or Saturday night, with no booze or music that I would like to dance to.  I have never been to a wedding where there hasn’t been booze.

The PP who mentioned that managing expectations being important hit the nail on the head.  It sounds like you are worried about your wedding being boring, and you have a lot of suggestions that you could do to make sure that it is not.  I think that a brunch or lunchtime reception or cake and punch receptionwould be great for your wedding, rather than a full-on evening affair.  You would get to have all the meaningful parts of your wedding happening and everyone would enjoy themselves because the event would be more low key.  Alternately, if you are having an evening wedding, after dinner, I would crank out music people like to dance to, rather than Christian music.

 

Post # 38
Member
664 posts
Busy bee

This sounds like a boring wedding to me.  Most of the guests, even if they’re Christian, won’t know the music, so they certainly won’t be dancing.  

A suggestion:  Perhaps have a non-traditional reception, and expect it to to be short.  Have a really nice dinner, cut the cake, and skip the music and dance floor all together.  People will be able to celebrate with you, but they won’t be required to stay all evening and pretend to be enjoying themselves.  They will have enjoyed the dinner and the company, but the rest won’t be forced upon them. 

Another suggestion is not to have alcohol, but to create your own playlist of good, wholesome dance music that everyone knows.  “Respect”, “Sweet Caroline”, “We Are Family”, “Play that Funky Music”?  Nothing at all un-Christian about those, but people will know them and dance.  

Post # 39
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I have been to boring weddings. The most recent wedding I went to was very boring. The only highlight was a couple glasses of wine I drank and the cake. The music was not dance able, the wedding didn’t flow nicely and no one knew what was going on, and the food was not great. The venue was in a park where they had to rent all the dishes, glasses, tables and such, and all the groomsmen were packing stuff up at like 8:30 which made us feel like we should leave. The bride and groom didn’t even come around and say hello to anyone. And the bride and groom didn’t look like they were having any fun. Out of all of those cons, I can deal with the bad music, not great food, and chaos, but I didn’t like that the couple looked like they weren’t enjoying themselves. Plan something you will enjoy! Your guests will pick up on your feelings if you are not even having fun. 

I can go to a wedding and not drink, so while I would never have a dry wedding, I would go to one if I knew the couple well. I would enjoy it more if I had some wine or a cocktail or something, however. Though, I would look into some different music options. There are plenty of appropriate non-religious songs that are dance-able that might be nice to mix in. Someone else mentioned some 80s or disco, which I think is a great idea if you don’t want any current pop music or rap. The reception is a thank-you to guests, so if 50% of your guest list probably wouldn’t like to listen to religious music for hours, I would mix in some music for them, too.

If you think it’ll be boring, add some fun things you would like if you went to a wedding. A photobooth, lawn games, late night snacks? But it is your day and you won’t please everyone. 

Post # 40
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

The only way I would ever have a bad time at a wedding is if there was nobody there I could talk to and/or if people were rude. I’ve never been bored at a wedding where my friends were also attending. Even at weddings where I haven’t danced, I’ve still had a good time talking to people. I think people who get bored are boring, as the saying goes! I can always find something to do. Would I prefer to go to a wedding with drinking and dancing? Sure, but I enjoy myself all the time doing things that aren’t drinking or dancing. I don’t really know what to say to someone who genuinely thinks they can’t have fun without drinking or dancing or who thinks they’re entitled to those things when someone they care about invites them to share in their special day. I enjoy myself when I go to the movies with my friends, when I go swimming, when I read a book…every single day I enjoy myself and the company of others without booze or a DJ. I understand those things are expected though, so I think making sure people understand the wedding won’t have those things is key. Like I said, I can happily enjoy myself without booze and a DJ but if I went to a wedding where I was expecting those things, I’d be disappointed, so tell people early. Maybe set up a projector and screen your favourite movies, and set up board games at each table. Make sure the food is amazing too! Give out cute favours that double as some sort of game or activity. There are lots of fun things you can plan.

And I have to say, there’s really no reason that all the music has to be Christian – that seems very over the top unless it’s really truly what you both want. Can’t you find some music that isn’t explicitly Christian but that doesn’t express any non-Christian values? If a song isn’t offensive or sexist or encouraging any sins, I don’t know why you can’t play it. It feels like maybe you’re worried that your wedding will be boring because it’s not in keeping with you and your fiance as a couple and as individuals. You say you drink sometimes, and you probably listen to non-Christian music too sometimes, right? So if you’re not one of those hardcore Christians that doesn’t know how to have fun and won’t accept anything that isn’t overtly Christian, why are you planning a wedding like that? Are you just concerned with appearances or keeping family happy? You can have a wedding without booze where you play some Christian music and respect yourself and your faith without having everything be Christian.

Post # 41
Member
2855 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

The last wedding that I attended was pretty boring. The reception was supposed to be outside but storms came through and no one had a back up plan so everything got squished in the little barn that was going to be used for the ceremony. The officiant was a friend of the bride who got their ordained ministry certificate online and she had obviously never done a wedding before. She never told guests that they could be seated so everyone stood through the whole ceremony. Everyone was supposed to rsvp but I don’t think they ever tallied them up because there was not enough tables for everyone so some people didn’t even have a table to sit at to eat. The DJ was also a family friend and she was awful. They had canned beer and coke but that was the only options for drinks. We left right after dinner and the first dances. Ultimately they were trying to have a typical Saturday night wedding without shelling out the funds for it and it bombed. 

Op: I totally get not having alcohol for religious reasons but I don’t really get it in your case. You and your Fiance drink, so why wouldn’t you offer something to loosen the crowd up? I would also suggest having more than just Christian specific music, especially if only half of your guests are christians. Youre going to have to entertain your guests somehow. I would also make sure that the food you provide is kick ass because no one is going to want to stick around for mediocre food, music they don’t like, and conversation with people they don’t even know. 

Post # 42
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Sorry but your wedding sounds boring.  Your ceremony is for you but the reception is for your guests. You can throw some Christian rock in there but it shouldn’t be your whole playlist. I also think a dry wedding can only work for a morning/afternoon wedding.  If you’re having a typical Saturday night reception and expecting people to stay all night then you’re going to be disappointed. 

Post # 43
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

The worst was my husbands friends. It was suppose to be outdoors but it rained so it was in this tiny ugly room that was hot and Darling Husband passed out because the ceremony was so long, hot, and boring. They prayed I think 5 times and droned on about how the groom was such a godly man. I know he cheated on her and they were banging within a couple dates where everyone thought she was a virgin. Onto the reception where the bridal party was basically stuck all night in their seats and had to watch lip singing battle between the groom and the dads, have another round of prayers, montage videos, ukulele singing, at one point we had to slip out the back to walk around the building so we could pee. Dancing was only 30 minutes because all their special things took so long. 

Post # 44
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Yes I have been to boring weddings-mostly ones that were other unorganized, or didn’t have enough for people to do.  A specific example, I went to a wedding where there was a long line for all drinks, the drinks were warm, the food was cold, there wasn’t really a dancefloor, they played elevator-esque music through an i-pod, and there was no real schedule (among many other things)

Honestly, I would be both bored and uncomfortable at yours.  I do not consider myself religious, so the all christian music would be odd and uncomfortable for me.  The alcohol thing isn’t a huge deal personally, but I like having the option to have alcohol.  Just because there is alcohol, doesn’t mean you have to drink.  Maybe a cash bar would be an option.

I think that the most important things for you to realize are 1) receptions are supposed to be for your guests, not for you.  2) your wedding should not just be about what your Fiance wants…the two of you should be able to compromise.  

Post # 45
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Honestly if most of your guests are Christians who don’t drink then this will be a more normal wedding to them. I come from a Baptist family, most of my friends were the same so most of the weddings I’ve went to were dry, no music. I honestly prefer weddings like this because I don’t care to dance and I don’t really drink. But that is me. You know your guests better than us. The most boring wedding I went to was bad because the food sucked. Hope your food is good! I’m not really into the whole Christian music playing during the reception, I went to a wedding like that and it was way too loud and distracting and no one was even dancing so it was weird.

We had an afternoon/brunchy reception, no alcohol and no dance floor. We did have a harp/violin duet (classical music & movie music) & lots of food, it was at a historic home. To me it was like a garden party or luncheon.

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