- 2 years ago
- Wedding: City, State
All of them are boring.
All of them are boring.
I am queen of boring Baptist weddings. I would highly suggest a brunch or afternoon wedding. No one wants to dance to Christian music. Do you and your husband currently dance to Christian music? Try it at home. I have a hard time imagining you being able to find enough Christian songs that are danceable to fill an entire evening. But, if you have a beautiful brunch reception or an afternoon tea, it alleviates the whole need for a dance party. It can still be very elegant without having a party atmosphere. You’re just not going to get a party atmosphere at a dry wedding with only Christian music playing. One good thing about having an afternoon or brunch wedding and reception is that they tend to be less costly and you can get more for your money. If I were you, I’d be thinking outside the box.
I have to been 1 boring wedding and it was exactly what you described. Even the bride and the groom were over it! They weren’t even there most of the time, they were off taking pictures! It was like they were having the wedding because it was expected, not because that was what they wanted. It was a very beautiful place, but they literally were playing Blessed Assurance. Not a bit of fun in sight. We left early and I have been friends with brides for over 20 years! If they had simply taken off the fancy centerpieces after dinner and provided the guest with a game of jenga or uno, we would have had a better time. Best of luck!
side note: This was a saturday evening wedding. A brunch of afternoon wedding would have went over much better with the guests, but I assume their parents wouldn’t have been open to breaking with tradition.
“Frankly, most of the weddings I’ve been to were pretty boring. Sit down. Tear up. Drink a cocktail. Wiggle booty. Food, cake, goodbye.”
Ha! True, however, I don’t think those things are boring at all! I guess I generally really love weddings. An excuse to break away from the every day routine, get dressed up and celebrate love.
OP, I have been to one pretty boring wedding and yes it was dry. The bride was 8 months pregnant and didn’t want anyone else to drink either. They also had a very religious ceremony and did a lot of praying with various peoples’ hands on the bride’s belly throughout the reception. The ironic thing was that the bride and groom were known swingers and had met each other while they were swinging in their previous relationships. At that point, the bride wanted a child and asked the groom to inpregnate her. Then they decided to marry. Almost no one at the wedding thought this was a good idea.
Anyway, I digress. I don’t think it’s impossible to have fun at a dry wedding, but couple that with Christian-only music and I might feel that I am attending church service and not a wedding reception. If you drink occassionally, would it be so horrible to have some wine and beer to create a more celebratory atmosphere. I’m not saying you need unlimited liquor to be flowing and a dance floor full of twerking to have fun, but surely a champagne toast and a glass of wine or beer with dinner would not offend?
I can’t say I’ve ever attended a boring wedding as an adult, but then I’ve also never attended a dry wedding where the couple only played christian music. I’m not gonna lie, I’d totally respect your preferences, but I’d probably start trying to calculate the soonest time I could politely leave the moment I realized the all-religious-music pattern, especially after a very religious ceremony. Religious music is kind of like death metal, in that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and while it’s usually tolerable in small doses, many consider it to be very grating. This is coming from someone raised on Veggie Tales and “good” modern Christian rock and pop. You know your crowd, and you should do what makes you happy, but maybe mix up the playlist a bit.
I know about dry weddings. My niece’s wedding was modest, but she had a great DJ who did very family-friendly music, and we all danced & danced. DJ mixed in group dances where they showed people what to do. Super fun!
if i was suicidal and attended your wedding- that might be the experience that pushes me over the edge.
Dry wedding is still tolerable by me, but I’d prefer a more neutral songs that is acceptable by all guests, not religious songs. You said 1/2 is Catholic, so there is chance the other half is not even Christians. I’d prefer to have songs that catered to all guests.
I certaintly have. In your case, I’d try to (a) compromise with your Fiance about the music, (b) consider, at least, a cash bar, and (c) know that people will likely be bored and leave early. Sorry, but no real dance music and no booze means I’m probably going to be bored unless I’m catching up with people I haven’t seen in a very long time.
I don’t drink a lot so wouldn’t care about the no alcohol aspect. I think people shouldn’t rely on alcohol to have fun, though unfortunately some people do. But yeah, I wouldn’t be able to dance to that music. If you want a dance floor you need to have upbeat music with a good beat that people can dance to! You can certainly achieve that without having any swearing or explicit lyrics in the songs. If there was no dancing I would still have a good time but would leave earlier than I otherwise would as I can only sit and chat for so long.
Just to be a jerk, I put on a Tori Kelly song and made my Fiance dance to it. Super awkward.
There is no such thing as a boring wedding, only boring people.
Thanks for your stories and advice!
I actually origanally planned for a brunch wedding but my family said that it will be hard for the guests who has to travel. Also, many of my friends and family don’t want to get up really early to get dressed. So I decided to have the reception at night.
I told Fiance that the music has to be upbeat and that most people would know. He said he didn’t want non-Christian music to be played at our wedding (but he does listen to non-Christian music sometimes). I told him that our wedding is going to be boring. He said that it is his wedding as well and he wants to do someting that he wants. I kept asking him the reasons on why he doesn’t want alcohol and non-Christian music at our wedding, but he won’t tell me and he will just get upset.
Anyways, I have been to a few weddings and they are all Christian. Most of them are boring because the music was something you can’t really dance to. I went to a friend’s wedding and the food was alright, they only provided water and juice for drinks and they had no background music during dinner. They had 1 song that repeated like 3 times when they were dancing!Everybody left early.
I recently went to another friend’s wedding who is a Christian as well. It was the best wedding I have ever been to. Food was awesome. Music was great and it had a party atmosphere. They also had an open bar. The bride and groom mingled with all of the guests which was great.
I think the key is being on the same page as your fiance. It’s neither of your individual days, the day belongs to both of you and if you want opposite things then I think you should compromise. I also think he’s being childish if he won’t tell you WHY he wants certain things. It’s unreasonable for him to expect you to just do what he says when you can clearly articulate your reasoning and he won’t do the same. Go to him with a compromise: Say 80/20 split Christian music and non Christian music, with the 20% non-Christian music being inoffensive dance tunes everyone knows played during the main dancing time, interspersed with the Christian music. All other music (background music, ceremony music, etc) can be Christian if he agrees to at least play a few non-Christian tracks. If he’s not willing to compromise and expects you to do what he says even though it’s unreasonable (it’s not like he doesn’t listen to non-Christian music sometimes so this line in the sand makes no sense) I think you have a larger problem.
What I’m trying to say is that there’s no reason things have to be so black and white. Can’t the wedding be mostly dry, but a waiter comes and pours a glass of champagne for toasts for anyone who wants one? That seems like a very nice compromise to me and I’ve seen it done at a wedding before and it was lovely. Tell him that you are willing to listen, to explain, and to compromise, and you’re not going to just do what he says unless he’s also willing to listen and explain and to consider compromises. If he has a great reason for wanting something you will be very wiling to consider it.