Post # 61
We are Christian and our reception was a great party, we had fun music and everyone danced, even my grandparents! I don’t understand what his problem with the music is, is he usually like a super hardcore Christian type…? Maybe he feels like someone in his family won’t approve? I’ve even been to a very Catholic wedding with the full 1.5 hour mass, and they had alcohol and dancing music.
He said ‘it is his wedding as well and he wants to do something that he wants’ which is true, but the same also goes for you. Some compromise is needed here… the PP has set out some good ones.
Post # 62
Sent you a private message, OP
Post # 63
xofuturemrsxo : Honestly, your fh sounds too immature to host a wedding reception if he’s unable to put his guests needs/wants before his own. The ceremony is for you but the reception is a thank you for your guests. It’s fine to have traces of you throughout the reception. For example, we put together the music for our cocktail hour but then we made sure the music for the reception was all our guests requests. Most DJs will have a do not play list, which my fiance took full advantage of. You can also tell your DJ to not play anything with explicit lyrics. We had people up on the dance floor for the whole wedding while keeping it suitable for everyone. If my husband acted like yours in regards to the reception then I would have just eloped. I would have been too embarrassed to have the type of reception you’re having. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true.
Post # 64
If your Fi is insistent upon a night wedding, I would try to incorporate some fun… hot chocolate bar, soda bar (fancy syrups and sparkling stuff to mix), board games put out, bonfire… not a “typical” wedding minus alcohol. That’ll flop.
I’ve never been to a wedding with some of these ideas (comedian or rock climbing), but honestly I think it’d be fun as heck to DO something, then grab a hot chocolate and sit at the fire for a bit. Probably more fun than dancing.
Post # 65
Why is he being such a groomzilla and not letting you have an opinion. It is your wedding too. If anything, wedding day itself is more of a bride’s thing to plan than groom’s anyway. Heck yeah I would be bored out of my mind at the wedding your Fiance wants to have. And it will probably will be topics for conversation later among guests – “hey do you remember that most boring wedding we have even been too…”
Post # 66
xofuturemrsxo : After reading your comment, I feel like you and FH might have a more serious issue on your hands. Is he always like this (passive agressive, not wiling to compromise)? Personally, I wouldn’t want my marriage to start like this. If he’s not willing to even discuss his reasoning with you, and he’s not willing to compromise, then there could be a deeper problem that you want to deal with BEFORE you get married.
Post # 67
I kept asking him the reasons on why he doesn’t want alcohol and non-Christian music at our wedding, but he won’t tell me and he will just get upset.
Uh wtf? Is he a toddler who can’t speak? I 100% agree that its his wedding and he should be part of it, but if he can’t even say WHY he wants these odd things thats kind of a problem. He needs to learn to communicate otherwise you’re going to have deal with these sort of temper tantrums for the rest of your marriage.
Post # 68
After reading posts and the update, I’d be willing to venture a guess on why the OP’s fiance is so unwilling to change. The OP states that they occasionally drink and also listen to non-Christian music. I’m wondering if the fiance’s conservative family doesn’t know these things and he’s trying to “save face” and have a typical conservative wedding so the cat isn’t out of the bag?
Post # 69
starfish0116 : I agree that that makes a lot of sense. I still don’t think that it’s a healthy start to the relationship though
Post # 70
xofuturemrsxo : Yes, it’s his wedding BUT it’s also your wedding too and he doesn’t seem too keen to compromise with you.
I think a good suggestion is to play some approrpiate hits of today or something, mixed with some Christian music. I don’t see why he’s shooting that down. He sounds super immature. The reception is a “thank you” of sorts for your guests, and if you know they will be bored or won’t have a good time that’s being a shitty host.
I don’t think it’s healthy that your Fiance is shutting down and not talking to you about the issue. You should definitely get that figured out before getting married to this person.
Post # 71
All the boring weddings I’ve been to have been Christian. A wedding can be a worship service if you want, but a worship heavy (or just dry and Christian rock heavy) reception is likely to be a snooze fest unless you get reeeeally creative.
Post # 72
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Why is your Fiance dictating everything? Is this indicative of how your relationship is – him deciding things and telling you that that’s how it will be? That doesn’t sound healthy. Christian men are supposed to respect and revere their wives, not walk all over them.
And yes, the boring weddings I’ve been to have been dry weddings with Christian music. They were still nice because I was really happy for the people getting married, and it was fun to catch up with family or friends. But music that I don’t like + no alcohol = no social lubrication or dancing.
Post # 73
All weddings are boring IMO. It’s nothing to stress over, people will endure and if asked, will insist they’re having a good time.