(Closed) Have you ever been to a wedding where a bad toast/speech was given?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 91
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Absolutely! The worst I’ve ever had to sit through was at a family friend’s wedding. The Maid/Matron of Honor was already half in the bag and her entire speech was about the time the bride called her to ask how to put a condom on a guy… she went on to explain that it wasn’t the groom (they hadn’t met yet), she was 16 and that “atleast she was using protection”. I think she tried to use this story to get the room laughing but noooo one found it amusing. So awkward!

Post # 92
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

First was super long time ago at my cousins wedding. The best man got up to do his speech and talked all about baseball and the team and memories with the groom and baseball…. didn’t mention the bride ONCE in his 10 minute speech.

Second, at my FI’s brother’s wedding, there were a few bad speeches. One was the Maid/Matron of Honor, who got up and started reminiscing about times with the bride. But she kept giggling through the entire thing and there were all kinds of inside jokes only her and the bride got, so the rest of us were like… okayyyyy… and it just went on and on and on. It was painful! But to make matters worse, she basically said to the groom “she’s my best friend, you don’t get to have her just beacuse you married her. I’ll still steal your spot in the bed when I stay over, haha we make groom sleep on the couch” (which they actually do) and it went on for a few minutes. She kept making reference to how the bride was HERS and basically laid claim to the bride at the podium. Super weird!!

Future Mother-In-Law got up and did her speech in a completely monotonous tone, so I really couldn’t take anything she said seriously. It was BRUTAL, especially after the MOB and FOB had done their speech and it was decent and very heartfelt.

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  geekgirl84.
Post # 93
Member
2471 posts
Buzzing bee

Several. The more spirit consumed before speaking the more spirited the speakers may feel.

I hate speeches that drone on and on and on and on and on.

And they OFTEN do.

Post # 94
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I went to a wedding recently where the bride’s neice (about 2 years old) screamed through all the speeches. The mother didn’t take her out of the room during any of them, and it resulted in the bride’s father, the best man and the groom all cutting their speeches short – one of them even crumpled up their notes and threw it on the floor, admitting there was no point continuing with it all. The groom spoke to Fiance later and admitted he was mortified and didn’t know what to do.

It was the most awkward, uncomfortable moment and totally ruined the speeches. I get that the brife’s sister wanted to see the speeches, but in that situation another family member should have offered to take the child outside for a few moments to calm down. 

Post # 95
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Yes at my wedding – one of the BM’s and GM’s (who were a married couple) did a speech together and started it off with “Well, what do you say about a couple who is so truly in love, a couple that was meant to be, a couple whose love story is better than all the rest…? But enough about us.”  – I think they expected a laugh – there were crickets. Dead silence. The rest of the speech fell pretty flat after that and the Bridesmaid or Best Man even stepped away from the mic right in the middle of it and said “I can’t do this.” After wards my Father-In-Law asked us what was up with that speech. Brutal.

Post # 96
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

At BIL’s reception (they got married a couple months earlier in a tiny ceremony with just immediate family), his father (my FIL) made a completely inappropriate speech about divorce, sex, etc. If you know my Father-In-Law, you wouldn’t be surprised at all that it happened, so I don’t know why Mother-In-Law decided it was a good idea to have him speak.

At our wedding, Father-In-Law was specifically banned from giving a toast/speech for that reason. BIL’s speech was sweet, but he basically sobbed throughout the entire thing, so we didn’t really understand half of what he was trying to say.

Post # 97
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I feel lucky, after reading these, that our worse speech was my Father-In-Law.  We warned him that my Maid/Matron of Honor (my youngest sister), and my dad were going to give well-thought out speeches.  DHs best man (our best friend) and his dad were supposed to.  Our best man, my Maid/Matron of Honor, my dad, all gave beautiful, amazing speeches – just perfect.  I cried at my dad’s speech.  And then, after warning him, he went last and he was like “Oh, uh, I just wanted to say.   Uhm, welcome to the family.  You look beautiful.  We uh, we finally have a beautiful daughter for our family.  And … uh, doesn’t she look beautiful?  Welcome to the family.”

Still ,not as bad as my sister’s.  She got married and her Father-In-Law was drunk and went on like “J (my BIL), we thought you were gay!  HAHAHA.  AND NOW YOU HAVE K (my sister)!  Isn’t that great? You’re not gay!  We’re so pleased with that!”

Post # 98
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Yes. It’s not a hilarious story but it was a best man’s speech that just went on and on with so-called crazy anecdotes about the groom’s close mates from the rugby club. Detail and in jokes 80% of the room didn’t understand. About 10 guys in the room were laughing all the way through and everyone else just looked confused and fed up. I think there is a skill to making an ‘in’ joke an ‘out’ joke!! This man did not have that skill at all.

Post # 99
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Oh and also I listened to one father of the bride’s speech which was good in parts but he was a bit too keen to mention where all his children had gone to study and how successful they all were. I’m sure he meant well but it made me cringe. In the UK espeically we are not big on show offs. Culturally it’s a huge no-no. 😉

Post # 100
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a very religious Catholic bride. The elderly priest, who had known the bride her entire life, got absolutely WASTED at the cocktail hour. He was supposed to give a speech and lead grace before the meal. He stood up, immediately fell down, pulled himself up with the tablecloth (knocking over the centerpiece and a bunch of silverware in the process), and then mashed up the couple’s names throughout the speech – think James and Katie being called Kames and Jatie, about 10 times. But because it was the grace, nobody could stop him or get the mic away from him. When he was finally finished, one of the other attendees had to leave the wedding to whisk him back to the parish. I heard Mass was really rough the next morning…

Post # 101
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2016

 

My wedding just passed this Saturday. It was a LOVELY fairytale wedding that took place in a nature arboretum. But, my husband and I are so upset with my father’s toast/speech. We gave it to him, since he paid for the food which was very generous. It was the most painful thing I have ever had to sit through…so embarassing was his speech. Basically, my father never mentioned a warm welcome to my husband’s family. Butchered their last name, and my new last name. Made it all about HIM and his planning the wedding with my step mother (who is an evil stepmother yelling at me all through the process about how much things cost when they forced us out of a smaller venue), thanked his doctors for a new liver that he invited, to sit with him,  then went on to talk about how he met my real mother (who died when I was 14) and how they eloped after meeting each other fast, then she shot “snakes with a revolver” at a buddy’s house where they eloped while vacationing, then he proceeded to tell everyone that that is just the “type of person I am”. He called me “self determined” which is a nice way of saying stubborn. Then he mumbled about how my husband was a “capable man who could provide”, and never once mentioned his family or my family coming together. It made it worse because my husband’s family is Middle Eastern, and we are English/Irish/Scottish…and so it was a chance for him to make them feel included, and he never did.

I think my father was upset, because the wedding wasn’t ALL about him. Even though he was paying for the food, and a nicer porto potty, he truly was not included in the design details of the wedding, like the music or the decorations because my husband and I had a certain vision and WE were paying for all of that part of the wedding. I believe he was upset at me for this and used this speech to get out his feelings about his “stubborn daughter”. He talked for 20 minutes, and he mentioned stories that my husband never did and my exes did instead. I think he mentioned that my husband was a “stalker”, which NEVER happened and he spoke inappropriately how we moved in together cause I was EVICTED from my old apartment. Which NEVER happened, I just decided to move on from the home I was living in and move in with my husband who was my boyfriend. Then on top of that…he started to talk about how my husband and I were going to ELOPE.

I grabbed the microphone after diggin my nails in my husband’s thighs and almost crying out of embarassment. I took the microphone after I said “no, no, we weren’t going to just elope,..we were going to come back and have a big part afterwards, but we decided to have our friends and family with us cause they mean so much to us”.

Everyone clapped when I interrupted my father and took the mic, allowing the DJ to actually start a toast to everyone. I made it about the guests, and toasted a thanks to everyone. While my father made it about himself and never toasted anything.

I am fuming right now. I think I need to not talk to my dad for a bit. But I wanted to warn any other brides, that IF you have any unresolved issues or relationship issues with your father or mother, or any one in your wedding..DO NOT HAVE THEM SPEAK. They may use this time to “vent” and release everything about their own feelings all at once. Also please look out for narcisscistic personality disorder which MANY of these other posts I read above, speak volumes about. Do not let a senile, or narcisstic personality do the speeches, they will never speak about your own love and blessings and will ramble on about themselves and their past…or worst their opinions about the future.  

It will take some time before I forgive my father for how he managled that one speech privillege we gave..and threw the night off due to his speech being 20 minutes long about how he met my mother before I was born. I was sad and missing her too, but he could have handled his emotions better and acutally made the speech about us as a new couple…but instead he focused on himself only and somehow also shot daggers at me.

 

Pick the person who you feel really knows you, loves you, and truly would never would embarass or try to hurt you during this important event in your life. I wish I would have not felt obligated to give the mic to my father, and instead give the ONE speech allowed to my husband’s sister, or his father or mother, or even my BEST friend.  

Choose wisely…and make sure there are no deep relationship issues with the person who gives the speech. Make sure they are emotionally stable and understanding of boundary lines. Much luck and happiness to all the new brides! 

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