(Closed) Have you ever cheated?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever cheated?
    Yes I have in past relationships. : (56 votes)
    37 %
    Yes I have in my current relationship. : (14 votes)
    9 %
    Been tempted but didn't do it. : (18 votes)
    12 %
    Never been tempted to do it. : (62 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    7905 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    No, I’ve never cheated. If a relationship is lacking so that you need to cheat, it’s better to just break up. I suppose there are open relationships, but if the expectation is monogamy, then both parties should respect that.

    Post # 17
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee

    Nope. If your ‘excuses’ for cheating can be solved by leaving (can’t think of one that can’t be) then there’s no reason to cheat.

    If you want to be with someone else, then leave the current relationship. It’s that simple.

    Post # 18
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee

    No, never cheated even whilst in horrendous relationships it’s not me. I have been cheated on. I’ve never been in a situation where I am unable to control myself. 

    One of my friends has just recently cheated on her First and I have said if she doesn’t tell him then I will. I would expect my friend to tell me if my Darling Husband had done it to me and vice versa. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee

    Have been tempted before but didn’t. I told my SO that I thought about it and thought we should figure out why. I thought we were pretty good at the time too, so I was really surprised by the situation and my feelings. I definitely learned a lot about myself and my relationship. There’s a level of trust between me and my SO now that wasn’t there before.

    I have a lot more empathy now though for those who have cheated or have thought about it. I don’t think anyone should ever aim to hurt, betray or isolate their partner, but I do understand how lacking self awareness can lead people to commit acts they truly regret.

    Post # 20
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.

    Yes. It was a drunken incident that I could of prevented by not being so intoxicated. Anytime I’ve had legitimate doubts about my relationships, I ended it if it wasn’t going in that direction already.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1265 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Once. I broke up with my high school bf a few weeks before I left for college bc I realized I couldn’t ever see myself marrying him and we had grown apart. He cried and begged for days so I reluctantly and stupidly gave in and got back together. I was too young and dumb to just make a clean break and be done if that’s how I felt. A few week into college, I got drunk and cheated. I felt terrible and broke up with him the next morning. As stupid and immature as it was, at least it made be finally and officially end that relationship. I never told him and sometimes still feel guilty. In fact, I’ve never told ANYONE so it kind of feels good to get it out there after 7 years. 

    I met Darling Husband about a month later and have never been tempted or even thought about cheating. I fully agree with PPs in that if you are tempted to cheat, th relationship is probably over anyway, so just end it first. I wish I had known that at 18!

    Post # 22
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I cheated once when I was very young, he was very hurt and the pain of seeing him hurt was enough and I have never cheated again.

    Post # 23
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My boyfriend in high school, who I dated for 5 years, cheated on me constantly. Not full blown sex, but he kissed several girls and had oral sex with them. At the end of the relationship, I started falling in love with a guy who I was working with who I had had a major crush on throughout high school. I guess it can be considered emotionally cheating, because I knew the new guy wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with him, but it was difficult to end it with my then boyfriend because it was long-distance and I didn’t want to end it over the phone. In the end, I broke up with my ex via MySpace because he was supposed to visit me but chose to hang out with another girl instead, and I wanted to end the relationship and be the with the person I was falling for. The person I left my extremely unhealthy relationship for, is my husband. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yes, and as bad as it is I’ve cheated on all of my boyfriends with the exception of my Boyfriend or Best Friend now. Ame I have never ever been even tempted the entire time we have been together. I know I have a tendency to hold on to things long after they are done because I hate change and failure. I will admit that all but one of the relationships was way way over before it happened. And he was just a big jerk I couldn’t get rid of. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have disagreements and dry spells and it never crosses my mind. I respect and love him more than anyone I have ever been with a hundred times over. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    258 posts
    Helper bee

    Definitely tempted, definitely didn’t act on it.  It was in a past relationship, my bf and I had been together 18 months.  He was overseas at the time and we had a big fight before he left, almost broken up, all the drama etc.  I was mad because he was staying with one of his single female friends in Canada for a week during his trip, and I thought that was weird, I was insecure about it etc., and he gave me the “you’re a jealous psycho” lecture.  Then I saw a bunch of pics on FB of them sight seeing together and it made me feel sick.  I remember thinking they looked like a couple.

    One night while he was away my (then) boss and I got talking at the pub after work.  He was a great guy and I looked up to him.  He had never come out and said that he liked me because he knew I had a boyfriend, but I always had my suspicions.  He said things that made me feel like a special snowflake, lol, and I remember being in the bathroom at one point, locked in a cubicle with my eyes welling up, trying to stop the tears, panicking about my bf overseas and wondering if I was doing the right thing being with him at all. 

    Nothing happened at the pub that night but I remember looking at my boss and wondering what life with him would have been like.

    I eventually moved cities & dumped my ex.  He was a loser in the end.  My boss and I remain friends.

    Post # 26
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Yes, I have. I’m not condoning my actions. I was in a bad place emotionally and he was unable to be there for me, so I foolishly turned to an outside source for that support. We’re currently working on moving past it. We’ve been together for 10 years,  and when we met we were just 20 years old, so we have been through it all! Including his in infidelity. I’m fortunate to Hebe such an understanding forgiving man. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  Tabianna.
    Post # 27
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I had been cheated on in college, and then again in, what I would call, my first real serious relationship. I was devastated, and it took me a long time to get over the ordeal (long story).

    But, I have cheated on two boyfriends… mainly out of not getting what I wanted from the relationship, whether that was attention or emotion. Was it wrong? Of course! But, it happened. I didn’t sleep with anyone, it was hanging out and making out.

    My Darling Husband now… I wouldn’t even imagine doing that, and never had that cross my mind once in the time we were dating.

    Post # 28
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    No I haven’t. I have more respect for people than that. If a relationship is lacking, I firmly believe that you should walk away, not cheat. Its just so hurtful and completely unncessary.

     

     

    Post # 29
    Member
    2445 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have not cheated and never felt tempted to. I’ve been emotionally cheated on, in a dumb high school relationship that shouldn’t have meant that much, but even that pain was enough for me to never want to do to someone else.

    Cheating is never ever justifiable, or excusable to me. It’s a dealbreaker. I would much rather be broken up with than cheated on, and don’t think it should be that hard for someone to be honest!

    Post # 30
    Member
    1283 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA

    I have never cheated, or been tempted. My dad cheated on my mom for their entire 16 year relationship. My stepmom was one of his girlfriends. pretty positive he’s cheated on her multiple times as well. My brother got the cheater gene- ive seen the hurt and devestation that comes from that type of betrayal & i could never imagine being the cause of making someone feel that way. Fiance & I were each others firsts & only. (to clarify- i was his first to have intercourse with, he was my first everything- french kiss & all lol) So I think maybe knowing the intense hurt it would cause the other has really kept us from getting in situations that could be tempting.

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