(Closed) Have you ever cheated? Have you ever been unfaithful?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Have you ever cheated? With any of the following: boyfriend, fiance, husband, SO?

    No, Never.

    Yes, but in a previous relationship.

    Yes, in a current relationship. ( not yet married )

    Yes, in a marriage.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I cheated on 4 different boyfriends in college. I’m not proud of it. I had a LOT of self-esteem issues, major depression, and incredibly clingy behaviors which did not lend themselves well to creating healthy, trusting relationships.

    I’m happy to say I’ve grown out of that kind of behavior and addressed the major issues causing it. I’ve been faithful to Fiance for our entire relationship, and I’ve never given a single thought toward having a tryst with anyone else. Some people say “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I feel good knowing that I’ve been able to prove myself otherwise.

    Post # 33
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @MeiFrancis:  

    View original reply
    @Jacqui90:  

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    @MissBoPeep: 

    Sorry ladies, not trying to offend. Not all, just some.

    I guess looking at the results its saying 50/50 have/have not cheated and that sounds about right….? LOL

     

    Post # 34
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Never had and I never will.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’ve dated multiple guys at the same time (and they were dating multiple girls…this was back in college) but I’ve never cheated. I didn’t date/fool around with guys at all in high school and when I was in college I quite enjoyed being single and I knew myself that well enough to know that if I tied myself down, I would be tempted by others. But by the time I was in my mid-20s, I was ready to settle down and I had gotten all the desire to get drunk and make out with strangers out of my system.

    I think cheating pretty common when people are younger and I blame the whole societal focus on constantly being in relationships even at a young age when people should be dating around and seeing what’s out there. Therefore, I don’t believe that “once a cheater always a cheater” is usually the case when someone cheats when they are in high school and college but grows out of it. If someone is still cheating at 25+ then I think it has to do with a major moral failing they have and that they will continue to cheat.

    Post # 36
    Member
    117 posts
    Blushing bee

    No! Not ever. Ive been cheated on in the past and it is one of the worst feelings, especially when you see the signs and choose to ignore them because you think you’re happy 🙁 Regardless of reasons why the cheating happens, you dont love them anymore or you’re confused etc., I just think people should remember that at one point you did care for this person and should have enough respect to end a relationship before the cheating happens. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I did not cheat in a relationship but was knowingly the person with whom somebody cheated.  Does that make you a cheater?

    Post # 38
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I did once in college and then I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt so bad about it. I felt like I tainted our relationship and I wouldn’t forgive myself even though he would have.

    Post # 39
    Member
    96 posts
    Worker bee

    No, I’ve never cheated. Really, it only takes 5 minutes to get to a telephone and break it off with the other person. Cheating is like telling the other person they are worthless. It’s horrible.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    i emotionally cheated on my 2nd boyfriend… with my 1st boyfriend…

    i was studying abroad in Canada and my boyfriend at the time (2nd) didnt give me the attention he did before (because of course he had to live his life in our country while i was away, duh) and my ex started chatting a lot with me and stuff… and he did everything he could to make me fall for him again… 

    even though i knew nothing good would come of that, i didnt block him (not listening to a dear friend of mine who said i should) aaand well.. i fell in love with that sociopath again. But i thought that comming back home to be with my boyfriend would help me get over it…

    Turns out i came back home and my boyfriend was acting distant anyway… so we broke up because of that… we got back together a week later…

    and two weeks later my ex’s  (who btw lives on the other side of the country) girlfriend (the girl he cheated on me with) broke up with him… and i was torn… so i ended up breaking up yet again with 2nd boyfriend to get back in a LDR with 1st boyfriend…

    he cheated on me AGAIN with THE SAME GIRL

    so yeah… Karma, lol

    i was 18 at the time (im now about to be 23)

    god i was really stupid, im not proud at all

    but oh well… everything happens for a reason, i wouldnt have met my 3rd boyfriend (now DH) if i hadnt broken up with 2nd ex.

     

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    In my dating past I’ve been on both sides of this situation, all I can say is it is terrible for both parties – knowing you messed up/knowing they messed up. We’re all human beings and make mistakes so I really don’t agree with the judgemental holier than thou comments. Life goes on and you can’t change the past regardless of which side of this you’ve been on. I don’t think cheating is ok or excuseable but I also don’t keep beating myself up over something that happened when I was younger. It was a one time thing so once a cheater always a cheater doesn’t apply for every situation.

    I think sometimes people would rather end the relationship than actually work on the issues at hand, it seems to be easier to just start over for some. A friend of mine and her high school sweetheart each had cheated at some point in college but they got over it, worked on their relationship and have been happily married for 3 years.

    Post # 42
    Member
    7309 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Nope. In high school I refused to be in a relationship because I wanted the freedom to play around. In college I was with DS’s sperm donor, who cheated on me repeatedly and abused me. I never even thought about straying. It’s just not my nature. Then I was single for a long time because I figured all guys sucked, and I needed to focus on being the best me for DS and myself. Then I was in a 2 year relationship with a military guy. He was deployed for a year, so LDR. Again, never thought once of cheating, even though things were rocky and hard being on opposite sides of the world. He turned out to be a lying, cheating douche to a degree I never imagined was possible. Then I casually dated for a while, and finally met Mr. LK. Truth be told, I am loyal to a fault. I will stick it out and be faithful no matter how crappy things get. It’s just not in me. Fortunately Mr. LK shares that same sense of loyalty and faithfulness, no matter what. I cannot envision a single circumstance in which I could ever break his heart the way mine has been broken in the past. I respect him and adore him too much.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1170 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I dont know if this is cheating or not, maybe….I was married for a decade to a man who almost killed me. I suffered a lacerated liver, kidney and a skull fracture from the last beating he gave me. I had finally seperated from him. A very close friend who helped me see that my life was worth a lot more was there to support me through everything. One night I just wanted to be loved, even if it wasnt real love. I was just coming out of the hospital, my STBX was in jail, I hadnt yet filed for divorce and I was so scared and lonely. I know its not a good excuse. I cant tell you what it was like, all I know is that for one moment I needed a bit of affection. Its like coming out of a desert thirsting for water and you latch on to the first thing you see.

    It only happened once. I filed for divorce as soon as I was well enough from my head injury to be considered competent.

    Post # 44
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I never have.

     

    Post # 45
    Member
    10713 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I cheated on my ex when I found out he cheated on me. He went to great lengths to sleep with the other girl so I decided to do the same. He didn’t even find out until after we broke up. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I voted ‘yes’ to previous relationship but need to clarify: this was a relationship that was one conversation away from ending. Literally. We were both planning on breaking up with one another the next time we saw eachother (very amicably). The day before that happened, though, I went to a party and ended up making out with a friend of mine. This was in my first year or two of college, so I was 18 at the time.  

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