(Closed) Have you ever cheated on your SO? Has your SO ever cheated on you?posted 5 years ago in Relationships
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I cheated on a high school boyfriend when i was 16 by kissing an ex. Ive been cheated on by almost every guy I’ve ever dated, except Darling Husband. I’ve also been the girl the guy was cheating with. All 3 suck and my part of it was all in high school. Boy have I grown up since then!
- 5 years ago
I’ve cheated on 2 exes, but by “cheat” I mean I was done and just hadn’t actually gotten around to dumping them yet. The first one was while I was studying abroad in Japan and before I left my then-BF and I had just gone on a trip to Australia with his family and I couldn’t BELIEVE how he let them treat him, to say nothing of how he let them tream ME. I was so over it, so I did what I wanted in Japan and told him not to bother getting me from the airport when I got back.
Second time was similar. Then-BF was away “training” (he was a Naval officer, and he was taking classes during the day and then raging all night every night and being an all-around neglectful POS) and I think I kinda “snapped” after calling him from the ER one night, leaving him a voicemail before I went into surgery and then not hearing back from him for a full 48 hours. A week later I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and really hit it off with one of the groomsmen, so I was said ‘eff it, had a great time that night and then broke up with my Boyfriend or Best Friend on the car ride back from the airport the next day. (I wanted to do it in person because I regretted doing it over the phone the first time, and even if I’d called him I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have called me back in a timely fashion.)
But anyways. All this happened at 22 and 24 — I’ve grown up a lot since then, and I think current me wouldn’t put up with that sh*t long enough to where I was even interested in other guys. When I love you, I LOVE you, and you have to treat me pretty badly for a pretty long time before the “love blinders” come off and I even realize other men exist.
With current S/O I’ve never once been tempted, and when I went out with other guys even after we broke-up briefly I freaked-out and cried after they kissed me or would try to kiss me.
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
I actually research infidelity in romantic relationships! There are some traits, genes, etc. that make make someone more or less likely to be “a cheater,” but it’s not really fair to assume “once a cheater, always a cheater” – everyone has unpleasant traits that have popped up in the past, under bad conditions or at younger ages, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that those same traits will play a big role in all relationships!
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
I have never cheated but have been cheated on in past relationships (deal breaker) however I think the whole once a cheater always a cheater is a bit flawed, I think it depends on the reason (there are no good reasons FYI) for example when I was cheated on it was because my boyfriend at the time had little respect for me and thought he could get away with it, therefore I think he would never change. However my mother cheated on my father about 6 years ago, and although he wanted to try and work through it (love of his life, never had any other girlfriends etc.) she wanted out as she saw how she couldn’t truly love someone if she could cheat on them. She cheated as they married young (she was 17) and agreed as she thought thats just what you do. Then she went though a good few years of depression and put on a lot (and I mean like 20+ stone) of weight. My dad still loved her however their sex life was non existant from that point onwards. Fast forward 13 years she put a lot of effort in to lose over 22 stone and then she started to get romantic attention from a man, and although its so wrong she never got that from my dad, and when she was larger so acted on it. I am not excusing what she did, and will never truly respect her again as I am a daddy’s girl however she has never cheaated since, and I think she has learnt from that experience.
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2018
Early in my relationship I had a “miscommunication” but I definately don’t consider myself a cheater. I had gone on a few (3) dates with my current boyfriend but we were long-distance over summer vacation and never had the exclusivity talk so I was also hanging out/kissing (ONLY) a high-school fling. When my boyfriend found out years later he was really mad but sorry! He had never asked me to be his girlfriend and we never discussed anything re: our relationship that summer! I did break it off with the other guy as soon as I felt my current boyfriend and I were getting really serious (like July of that summer vacation).
I’ve been cheated on in a high-school relationship by your typical asshole jock but he never confessed. When I broke it off I confided in another male friend that I was “90% sure he was cheating on me.” He responded that he was 100% sure (they were on the same team.)
BOYS: IF YOU KNOW YOUR FRIEND IS BEING CHEATED ON SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 5 years ago
MrsBeck: +1 I completely agree. One or even two incidents do not translate to an addiction or a major character flaw.
Is cheating wrong and hurful? Absolutely. Are you the worst person in the world not worthy of ever being trusted again or will you relapse over and over again? No, not necessarily. Some people will continue to make the mistake of cheating time and time again. Others may do it once and never do it again.
It’s call life people and you CAN learn from your mistakes. I just hate the “sanctitmonious” people who act as though they have never made a single mistake or that they haven’t changed over the years. While you may not have cheated, you have probably done something you regret deeply and changed accordingly. And if you haven’t done a single thing in life that you don’t regret or wasn’t a mistake…well, we all owe you a cookie.
Anyway, I have in a past relationship cheated. I was young and did it when our relationship was at a really terrible spot. I am not making excuses, those were the circumstances. It was stupid, hurtful and a mistake.
It has been over 12 years since I did it and I do not ever plan on doing it again. I never thought I would be “that person” that cheats, but guess what, shit happens and sometimes the circumstances lead to bad mistakes. I own up to it and I have changed.
If other people (including other bees) look at me and think I will cheat again or will “always be a cheater,” then that’s their perogative I guess. To them I say, take a deep look at yourself and think hard about your past and the mistakes you have made. How have you changed and what have you learned? Are you human? If so, it’s called life and learn some compassion and understanding.
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