Have you ever confessed to a guy before and things turned out well? Should I con

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I confess? He's now a friend.
    Yes : (74 votes)
    77 %
    No : (15 votes)
    16 %
    Other -- State why : (7 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5965 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Personally I’m a woman of action and find it tedious to sit down and tell someone how you feel about them, when showing them is just so much more powerful, and often, words are terribly inadequate…the romantic comedies have turned the “I Love You” confession into a cliche….go out for a cup of coffee, take a turn on the ice skating rink after, find a moment when you both lock eyes and go for it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    When I saw the title, I thought this was a question about cheating!  So glad that’s not the case!

    I was in a similar situation with my best male friend.  I am a big scaredy-cat and never said anything to him, however my body language spoke volumes to him (so he tells me now).  I’d hug him just a little bit longer than I had to when saying hello or goodbye.  I’d sit really close to him when we went out.  I’d touch him on the arm when talking, etc.

    Eventually, he got the hint and fortunately, he felt the same way.  We now have been married for two years!

    Post # 6
    Member
    5965 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @savychic1616:  No, I don’t, I apologize for not being more clear.  Words come cheap to a person like me and I’m a very physical person, if you are such close friends, and you feel the way you do, there have got to be moments when your close to each other, when your maintaining eye contact a little longer than usual, when a hug turns into something else…its a dance, find the beat and start steppin!  Be bold!  Be fearless, it’s love after all, and not for the faint of heart!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I told my FH how I felt first, becuase it felt right.  He is very shy and probably would have never said anything if I didn’t.

    It’s really a question of what do you have to lose? 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    If you don’t say anything, you live with the feeling of should I shouldn’t I forever, and that’s just a bitch. Say something. Either it turns out well and happily ever after, or it doesn’t, but at least then you can let go and get over it and move on one way or the other rather than wondering. Wondering is the worst. I know I personally only regret the things I was too chicken to do in the past, but regret none of the things I did, even if they turned out to be mistakes.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6512 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted other – I think you should just slowly start flirting with him, and see how receptive he is to it. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

    No, guys do not “need” to confess first.

    If I were in your shoes I’d say bluntly, “Look, we’ve been friends for X amount of time, and as we spend more and more time together, I can’t help but feel something more (insert how he makes you feel when you’re with him). And if you don’t feel the same way, I’d really like us to remain good friends, but I felt I owed it to you and to myself to be honest.”

    An ex of mine and I mutually confessed to each other how we felt after a few years as friends. He was one of the nicest guys I ever dated, and really helped me understand what a truly good relationship partner is, and we remained friends after we broke up. For another example, I confessed to a girl friend of mine how I was feeling (I’m bi, she isn’t), she told me she was flattered but just didn’t feel the same way. Things were slightly awkward, but we’re still good friends. Every situation is different, but you won’t know what might happen if you don’t take a leap.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Like Mrs99, I’m a woman of action.  I worked with my husband (so – you know how this is going to end).  I had broken up with my long-term boyfriend and had been single for a while, long enough to get myself together and decide I was ready to start dating again (4-5 months?).  He was cute, so I asked him out.  Walked right up to his desk, struck up a conversation, gave him my number and said “So, call me if you want to get together this weekend!”  Of course I had already asked if he had plans and he didn’t.  😉  We went out, it was fun, I asked him to make plans for the next weekend.  Finally after a few more dates he was leaving at the end of the night and I said “So am I going to get a goodnight kiss or what?!”  I did.  He’d never had a serious relationship before and was super shy when it came to that kind of thing. 

    So, my advice – let him know.  Either you find out he feels the same way or you get your heart broken before you’re head over heels with this guy and can move on.  You’re fantastic though, so I’m sure he’ll see that.  If not, someone else will and lucky them. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee

    @savychic1616:  Youre an adult and time is a-passing. Go for it, the worst thing he can do is say no but then youre still just friends. Win win.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    My SIL is currently pretty head over heels for this guy, and it seems very much like he is returning her feelings, but he hasn’t asked her out on an official “date” yet (although they hang out together often, with friends and alone). This has been going on for around 2 months now, and she REFUSES to make the next step to further their relationship for the sake of tradition. At the same time, she’s getting frusterated that he’s not making a move.  It’s driving me crazy because guess who get’s to hear about all this constantly? lol!

    Personally, I think women should take charge these days. That doesn’t mean you need to take complete control of the reigns, but the next time you two are together, alone and the time seems right, just tell him you really like him. Simple as that. Then let him handle the rest.

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