(Closed) Have you ever criticized a wedding to the bride?

posted 6 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No – that would be so tactless and rude! OK, so I could see that you might comment on the weather, if it sucks and you don’t really think about what you’re saying, but to point out something that you personally see as a flaw… no!

 

That said – as a four year old I apparently told the bride my dress was prettier than hers… My poor mum!

Post # 4
Member
46646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Absolutely not! Unless the bride was a very close friend and unknowlingly planning a terrible phaux-pas, her wedding is her wedding to plan, not mine.

It would be even more  terrible to make the bride have second thoughts about her wedding when it is too late to do anything about it anyhow.

Post # 5
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Meowkers:  Yikes, no!  

It kind of bugs me that I will never know what people DIDN’T like about my wedding, but that’s probably better seeing as I can’t fix it and hope not to have to get married again in my life 🙂

Post # 6
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Never! I do see what you are saying though. Nobody would tell the bride if they did miss something so it’s not really that “nobody missed it.”

Post # 7
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Nope!  As a bride at her wedding you are surrounded by “yes men” – everyone is morally obligated to tell you everything is fantabulous – regardless.

But you make a very good point – we all might think “no one missed having favors” when in reality at least one person was driving home and said “hey – they didn’t favors… that’s weird!”

And how many weddings have *you* been to where you hated the setup/dress/lack of XYZ… etc.  I have been to plenty.

There are things I am prepared for people to hate at my wedding – and I embrace the “yes man” mentality because you know what, I don’t care.  If I don’t pick my battles with this thing it’ll end up swallowing me whole and I decided very early on that I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to love it all.

Post # 8
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

No, I have never done this, I have never felt the need to and that would be rude.

However, I got a lot of complaints about our DJ who was yes, creepy and awful. One guest came up to me and said he refused to take her request because he didn’t like Britney Spears. When he played that Red Cup song people started to moan. I had to actually have a talk with this DJ. Ugh….

 

Post # 9
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

 

No, I haven’t.  But I’ve wondered the same as you, “How would we ever know?”  But I don’t think I want to know. lol

Post # 10
Member
3883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Meowkers:  hahaha…

No…I’ve never told a bride….but I have definately discussed  the ‘missing something’ on car ride home!!!

maybe on the bee we should all make a collective conscious decision to re-phrase…

‘we didn’t have X at our wedding and no one missed it.’

to 

‘we didn’t have X at our wedding and no one told me to my face that they missed it.’Tongue Out

Post # 11
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

You wouldn’t tell someone their baby was ugly, a wedding is kind of a brain baby. Unless you hear it from a reliable third party, or a very tactless and rude friend then I doubt you’ll ever know XD

 

That said I love critiquing weddings with my mum cause I’m a horrible person :3

Post # 12
Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Nope! I wouln’t, but I also have only been to two weddings as an adult. The first was a family wedding where I didn’t criticise anything, and the second I was bitter about not being invited to the reception, despite being invited to the shower, so I pretty much criticized everything…

 

Post # 13
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

There have def been things I did not like at weddings; but I would NEVER tell the couple that. 

Post # 14
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

To the bride?  No.  I’ve never heard of this.  But depending on who complaints are being said to or around, depends on if it gets back to her.

My Maid/Matron of Honor and two of my BMs were about to go after the Best Man’s wife when she was apparently (loudly) complaining at the reception and after to our mutual friends about practically everything at our wedding.  This probably has more do to with some dissatisfaction about her own wedding, rather than mine, but really after hearing this I want nothing to do with her.

Same thing is hearing how much people loved it from family or people going out of their way to bring it up months later to friends or family about how much they loved it.

So sometimes it will get back to you.  Mostly all third party.

But criticizing to the bride directly?  Um, no.

Post # 15
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I have definitely questioned some decisions beforehand if they are friends of mine and I think it’s warranted, but afterward–when there’s nothing that can be done about it? No way.

Post # 16
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, but people did tell me afterwards how crazy my step mother is and what a nut job she behaved like.  Thanks!  That made me feel great and NOT embarassed at all. My feelings were really hurt that two people told me that.  I know my step mother, and I really don’t need to hear others’ opinions of her.  Believe me, I’m sure it can’t be worse than my own.

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