Post # 1
I’ve seen posts on Weddingbee with brides saying “we didn’t have X at our wedding and no one missed it.” This got me thinking about how would they ever know whether their guests missed X or not. Regardless of what I feel was missing from the wedding, or what I personally would have liked, I would NEVER tell a bride that the lack of X was missed.
Has anyone ever told a bride, after her wedding, that they really wished that the wedding had something it didn’t?
Post # 3
No – that would be so tactless and rude! OK, so I could see that you might comment on the weather, if it sucks and you don’t really think about what you’re saying, but to point out something that you personally see as a flaw… no!
That said – as a four year old I apparently told the bride my dress was prettier than hers… My poor mum!
Post # 4
Absolutely not! Unless the bride was a very close friend and unknowlingly planning a terrible phaux-pas, her wedding is her wedding to plan, not mine.
It would be even more terrible to make the bride have second thoughts about her wedding when it is too late to do anything about it anyhow.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Meowkers: Yikes, no!
It kind of bugs me that I will never know what people DIDN’T like about my wedding, but that’s probably better seeing as I can’t fix it and hope not to have to get married again in my life 🙂
Post # 6
Never! I do see what you are saying though. Nobody would tell the bride if they did miss something so it’s not really that “nobody missed it.”
Post # 7
Nope! As a bride at her wedding you are surrounded by “yes men” – everyone is morally obligated to tell you everything is fantabulous – regardless.
But you make a very good point – we all might think “no one missed having favors” when in reality at least one person was driving home and said “hey – they didn’t favors… that’s weird!”
And how many weddings have *you* been to where you hated the setup/dress/lack of XYZ… etc. I have been to plenty.
There are things I am prepared for people to hate at my wedding – and I embrace the “yes man” mentality because you know what, I don’t care. If I don’t pick my battles with this thing it’ll end up swallowing me whole and I decided very early on that I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to love it all.
Post # 8
No, I have never done this, I have never felt the need to and that would be rude.
However, I got a lot of complaints about our DJ who was yes, creepy and awful. One guest came up to me and said he refused to take her request because he didn’t like Britney Spears. When he played that Red Cup song people started to moan. I had to actually have a talk with this DJ. Ugh….
Post # 9
Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
No, I haven’t. But I’ve wondered the same as you, “How would we ever know?” But I don’t think I want to know. lol
Post # 10
No…I’ve never told a bride….but I have definately discussed the ‘missing something’ on car ride home!!!
maybe on the bee we should all make a collective conscious decision to re-phrase…
‘we didn’t have X at our wedding and no one missed it.’
‘we didn’t have X at our wedding and no one told me to my face that they missed it.’
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
You wouldn’t tell someone their baby was ugly, a wedding is kind of a brain baby. Unless you hear it from a reliable third party, or a very tactless and rude friend then I doubt you’ll ever know XD
That said I love critiquing weddings with my mum cause I’m a horrible person :3
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Nope! I wouln’t, but I also have only been to two weddings as an adult. The first was a family wedding where I didn’t criticise anything, and the second I was bitter about not being invited to the reception, despite being invited to the shower, so I pretty much criticized everything…
Post # 13
There have def been things I did not like at weddings; but I would NEVER tell the couple that.
Post # 14
To the bride? No. I’ve never heard of this. But depending on who complaints are being said to or around, depends on if it gets back to her.
My Maid/Matron of Honor and two of my BMs were about to go after the Best Man’s wife when she was apparently (loudly) complaining at the reception and after to our mutual friends about practically everything at our wedding. This probably has more do to with some dissatisfaction about her own wedding, rather than mine, but really after hearing this I want nothing to do with her.
Same thing is hearing how much people loved it from family or people going out of their way to bring it up months later to friends or family about how much they loved it.
So sometimes it will get back to you. Mostly all third party.
But criticizing to the bride directly? Um, no.
Post # 15
I have definitely questioned some decisions beforehand if they are friends of mine and I think it’s warranted, but afterward–when there’s nothing that can be done about it? No way.
Post # 16
Nope, but people did tell me afterwards how crazy my step mother is and what a nut job she behaved like. Thanks! That made me feel great and NOT embarassed at all. My feelings were really hurt that two people told me that. I know my step mother, and I really don’t need to hear others’ opinions of her. Believe me, I’m sure it can’t be worse than my own.