(Closed) Have you ever cut a family member out of your life?

posted 11 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

There are members of my family that are completely cut out of my life. Others, I have gone months even years without talking to. Just because they are out of your life, does not mean the hurt ends;especially when it is immediate family. My family has been littered with alcohol, drug, and emotional abuse. At some point, you have to decide when to draw the line. Are you helping those people by sticking through thick and thin or are their actions acting as a toxic venom in your life? I’ve mended some of my relationships, but others are beyond repair. I’ve accepted that, and embrace the good relationships that I do have in my life.

Quote of the day:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family ~I hope this helpsLaughing

Post # 47
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My father is a sociopath. I would have cut him out of my life if he hadn’t already saved me the trouble by never giving two shits. My sister called him once and he said “Who is this?” and she said “(Amusememusically’s sister’s name)” and he said “(Amusememusically’s sister’s name) who?!”  Once, I told him I was driving cross-country to see a boyfriend. He told me, “Well, if you go up there, you’d better make it worth his while.”

I cut my half brother, his son, out of my life because of something he said to me. That probably sounds kind of harsh…but if I told you what he said, you would agree.

 

Post # 48
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My dad is not in my life anymore. He was emotionally abusive to my mom, and after they divorced he got addicted to crack and made a suicide pact with his trashy girlfriend. He called me to tell me i wouldn’t see him at christmas cause he would be dead. I was 9 at the time. He ended up getting clean, and seeing me and my sister occasionally, but he would always leave when he felt like it, and do things that hurt us, never apologizing for anything. he always thinks we have an obligation to him because we share his dna, although even when he was still with our mom he worked strange hours and she was the one who raised us. I don’t plan on ever talking to him again, although my sister still does. He isn’t invited to my wedding.

Post # 49
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes I have, but not a parent. Six years ago, my younger cousin completely flipped out on me for 4 hours straight. Apparently, she had been having issues with me for years, and chose a drunken night to lash out and completely unleash all of her hatred while she and two other cousins were staying at my apartment in NYC for another cousins Bday event. Her sisters who were present tried to calm her down, but nothing worked, she screamed for hours calling me every name in the book telling me how horrible of a person I was.

I was shocked and saddened to realize that she hated me so much, but also learned after the fact that she actually has serious mental health issues she is getting treatment for. So after a few weeks, I decided to forgive her. I wrote her a long email apologizing for not realizing she had issues with me, but also asking if we could just come to a truce (even though it was one-sided since I never actually fought back). She never responded to the email. Months later, my extended family wanted to pressure me into comign to a family vacation, so they got her to write to me asking me to come. I was so disgusted with the whole thing, obviously she doesn’t care about our relationship at all and was just being pressured by them, so I decided to just disown her completely, as much as you can disown a cousin who lives in a different state.

I was willing to consider what she said about me dispite her mental health issues and work on our relationship. But she never was, she just wanted attention and was being selfish and catty by not responding when I reached out afterwards. The icing on the cake was her folding to the family pressure to reach out and try to sway me into attending the vacation. It’s over now, I am civil to her when I have to be around her but otherwise will never be in the same room with her if I can ever avoid it.

By The Way: In my wedding video, there is actually a shot of her sitting (she didn’t dance at all) looking totally bored rolling her eyes.

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