(Closed) Have you ever given something big up for your SO?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

Areyou married or engaged 

Post # 4
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

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milabeehappy:  As a very career minded woman, I have to say I think “You dun’ goofed.” To answer your question though, I guess? We currently live in the Bay Area and I hate it, but it’s great for our careers. I’m willing to stay here for an extra year or two over what I initially planned because of my Fiance. I probably would have moved back to New Orleans by now if it wasn’t for his insistence on staying here.

Post # 6
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

Other dudes? Hahaha I kid, I kid. 

Nothing really as we’ve made joint decisions. Although on the face of it our recent move to the country has meant I’ve had to give up the high paid corporate role…. Which I hated anyway. I’ll be starting a business here at some point so I have only gained in reality 

Post # 7
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee

I will be giving up a lot – my home, my friends, my family and my business! My fiance will be transferred out of state for his job in the next year or so…I have always known that though, and chose to pursue the relationship…we will be moving about 5 hours away, so it isn’t horrible…we will also be married by the time he gets his transfer orders, so there is solid commitment…I am sort of excited, but also sort of scared…I don’t really see it as “giving up” because obviously I will stay in touch with my family and friends and I will come back and forth for my larger clients here, but have to start over there…exciting and scary! 

Post # 8
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

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milabeehappy:  did he even consider moving? It’s sad if he didn’t. Your career should be as important as his. In time surely you will earn more, but only if you have access to opportunities. Will you have the same opportunity where you’re living with him? 

Post # 10
Member
28 posts
Newbee

How long have you been together? I learned the hard way that “about to be engaged” doesn’t guarantee permanence. I would have taken the job.

Post # 11
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee

Protestantism (FI is Catholic and I converted). It was really hard to tell my dad, but ultimately it was the best thing for us. It’s also meant starting to go to confession and the like. It was my decision, but like you, it was something that I see as making our marriage/relationship sustainable. 

Post # 12
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

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milabeehappy:  that’s good to hear and thanks for answering my question graciously. Best of luck for your future, including a satisfying career x

Post # 14
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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Beegritte:  The reverse argument could be made, however, if he moved with her and gave up a good job he had. Or if the roles were switched and he gave up an opportunity to take a new job out of state in order to stay with her because of her job. One could ask, “Hey, why didn’t Bee stay/move for him? Surely his career is as important as hers?”

OP, the decision you made was a hard one, and one that probably arises for most professional women in relationships. At some point, someone has to bend a little, or else give up the relationship, and it comes down to what is important for you and what works best for you two as a unit if you’re in this for the long haul. There’s no right or wrong here, just what’s best for you in your life. Just make sure you are not resentful of him for your decision, because that can tank the relationship fast.

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