(Closed) Have you ever given something big up for your SO?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Location. If it wasn’t for Fiance, I’d move to the PNW in a heartbeat. We’re in Silicon Valley because it’s best for his career right now and I can work anywhere (although I’d have to pass another bar exam if I upped and moved). He loves it, I like it well enough (and love my current coworkers), and we own a home now, so it’s fine… just not my single lady dream of being an Oregonian hippee.

Oh and I also gave up being a total cat lady for him. If it wasn’t for him only wanting one, I’d have three. #truelove

Post # 18
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Oof. That’s tough. I don’t know if that’s the best choice. 

Post # 20
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee

milabeehappy:  I totally get it. Fiance and I are in that awkward spot where we are both in the same job and it pays very well, but he is unhappy and there aren’t a ton of other opportunities in our city. It’s funny because I’m actually the one who originally wanted to move to another state, but now that I’m settling in a bit to my career, he’s the one wanting to move. I technically make a little bit more, so there’s no immediate justification for moving for him to get a new job, other than the very valid fact that he’s unhappy. The compromise is never entirely cut and dry, and I think that you are doing the best you can with the situation you have. Personally, I’m clueless as to what to do in my own situation, so I commend you! 

Post # 21
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

milabeehappy:  Don’t listen to bees who say “about to be engaged” does not equal the same commitment that “engaged” or “married” does. Only you know the commitment level of your relationship. I gave up my dream college and my Fiance gave up a military academy appointment to be with me. We couldn’t be happier with our decisions and we are now happily engaged, despite us being “only” girlfriend/boyfriend at the time.

Both of us dread the city that we currently live in, but we are here to be together. When we moved here a couple years ago, we both made the decision that we would be move to a new state by a certain deadline. Relationships are all about sacrifice!

Post # 23
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

My husband is giving up a stable job as an electrical engineer to move to Washington with me. Ive always wanted to live there and found a job paying a good amount more. He’s very family oriented and tries so visit his family as much as possible, so he’s giving that up too. But when I got the offer he didn’t even hesitate, even though he doesnt have anything lined up. I appreciate him so much. 

Post # 24
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In the same position as a lot of bees, I gave up living in an ideal location. My Darling Husband and I were seriously planning on spending a year abroad together and about 6 months before we left, he told me he just couldn’t do it. I obviously have to respect that and gave that dream up. Also, he wants to purchase a home much more than I do, so we are buying a home. I know it is a financially sound decision, but the idea of being tied to one location for the long term is sometimes tough for me to deal with. It’s all about compromise though. We have decided that since we will be staying here, once we get settled financially with the new house, I will start grad school. If your DH/SO is not willing to ever compromise, then that is a problem.

Post # 25
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We both have good jobs, but mine is more lucrative. Darling Husband volunteered to start telecommuting so that we could move for my new job. I am grateful, and he actually really likes it!

If you two are meant to be together long term, it will work out in your favor to have tried to stay in the same geographic location. There will be more job offers in the future!

Post # 26
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My Fiance is actually giving up a lot to move down here with me. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for two years. He has a long-term job and a son (who he sees every other weekend).  I am VERY aware and very grateful of the huge life changes he is making to be with me. I have two children who are with their father half the week, and without completely uprooting them and battling my Ex in court, I can’t really leave where I am. I am also in graduate school here, which farther roots me where I am. Being with someone means making decisions for the betterment of the relationship. Just make sure you aren’t the only one making sacrifices and that your needs are seen as being just as important. 

Post # 27
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

TheGridMonster:  We would welcome more Oregon hippies up here, lol. And there are lots of High-tech jobs here as well. I might lose my Oregon card for inviting more Californians, however. 😂

Post # 28
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I could have gone on exchange to Australia in my third year university, but I didn’t go because I didn’t want to be that far away from my Fiance (then he was just my bf). I don’t regret it. One day we will go to Australia and I will get to experience it with him. I’m not saying you always have to do everything revolved around your SO, but I think it can definitely influence your decisions. And you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

Post # 29
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

secondtimecharm:  Hahaha, I’ll keep your invite on the DL, I promise! 😛

Post # 30
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

milabeehappy:  yes,my fiancé was got his dream job ans with that he would earn double what I made…… I have always lived in Florida.. I own a home there, great job, all my family, all my friends. We moved to Louisiana 🙁 I now live in a way smaller house, the job I have isn’t as fulfilling as my previous although it’s actually the same type of medical position, I make about $3 less per hour, finally making friends here, alot of people are racist/not open minded, nothing to do here… So I gave up the whole life I knew. 

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