(Closed) Have you ever gone to couples counseling?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever gone to couples counseling?
    Yes and it was helpful : (13 votes)
    41 %
    Yes and it was not helpful : (0 votes)
    No and I think it can be helpful for couples : (15 votes)
    47 %
    No. People who go to counseling should not be getting married. : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Either FI or I have seen a counselor separately and talked about relationship issues. : (0 votes)
    No. FI and I never fight : (0 votes)
    Other : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We’ve never needed too, but if we did, we’d go! I think you should go and see what happens. Can’t hurt-can only help! 🙂  Hope you get everything worked out!

    Post # 5
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    we actually had to go before our minister would agree to marry us.   It was great for us.   We didn’t have problems to discuss, but we got into some interesting topics that we would not have thought of on our own to discuss.   I.E.   Where to live in 5 years, where to be buried, what to do if one of us passes away early, what to do if one of us were to lose our jobs,

    Post # 6
    Member
    5671 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We haven’t needed to but if our relationship was in trouble I would not hesitate to go. I’m entering into this marriage for the long hall and if at any time I feel that we need help in order to continue and grow in our relationship I would seek help. But I also grew up with parents who have been married for 30+ years and did seek counseling during their marriage and I have a double major in psychology so I can see how helpful it can be.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I voted “other” because I did premaritial counseling, but it wasn’t because of fighting. Part of it is because we thought it was a really good idea to learn more about each other & part of it was because our church officiant/ venue required premaritial counseling. It was VERY helpful for us. We learned how to communicate to each other, I learned things about my now husband that I had no idea about before & would never think to ask.

    I do think that counseling (other than premaritial) can be very very helpful for couples, I don’t see anything wrong with it at all! Even if you’re not having serious issues, it really helps.

    Post # 8
    Member
    990 posts
    Busy bee

    FI and I are currently going now and it has really helped! we’re finding that we’re putting in more effort with each other (we used to just let the fight in us take over). Plus its good to have that unbiased third part perspective.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    FI and I are currently in counseling and it’s helped us GREATLY thus far.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2006 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We haven’t yet but I would like to go sometime in the near future. We aren’t having any “problems” per say, but there are issues we could work on. It never hurts to better your relationship 🙂

    I’ve gone to counseling on my own (before the boy was in the picture) and it is so nice to have someone completely impartial listen to my issues.

    I would never judge a couple for going to counseling. In fact, I would think better of them for being proactive/working on their relationship/not just throwing in the towel.

    Post # 11
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’ve never been, but I think they’re a great idea!! In theory I would love to go with FI– not because we have big issues– because I think that everyone can use a tune up ya know? And what is the worst that can happen…. waste of time? 

    But I don’t know that we’ll go because FI is skeptical (he thinks you only go to therapy if you have issues) and because I have no idea where to start looking for a counselor anyways!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2058 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    FH and I have not been – – – However, I did go w/ my ex.  We went for about two months. Short of the long – we lost communication skills and everytime we were trying to communicate it would turn into an arguement. I enjoyed going but then a coule of days later it would be the same thing. I couldn’t understand it – – low and behold, my ex had a serious issue with cocaine and yes I was blinded….Thus in the end the counseling didn’t work for us – I enjoyed the time we spent the the Dr. though, lol

    Post # 13
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We haven’t been in couples counseling other than with our priest for our wedding, but I think it’s really beneficial to those who go through it. I think should my husband and I ever need it, we’d both be more than willing to go through it…especially if it’s going to save our marriage. I think it’s really beneficial and gets folks communicating with each other more.

    Post # 14
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee

    We did a form of pre-marital counseling.  The first several sessions were devoted to his mom and at the end we did the actual pre-marital counesling.

    There is a variety of reasons people attend counseling and one is that it’s like their check up for their relationship.  You have your car get a check up right?  Why not a relationship, then.  Don’t worry about looking bad to others.  They will assume what they want.  What is most important in this situation is your relationship, not other peoples opinions.

    Post # 15
    Member
    877 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    This is something we chose to do together.  We didn’t feel we needed it nor were we required to do it, but we felt that we should be proactive and take care of any potential issues before they got worse.  We’ve also discussed and documented a bunch of topics before going to our first session with her (e.g finances, children, work, personal relationships etc).  We only had 2 sessions with our counsellor because she felt that we a strong relationship with strong communication skills and didn’t see any red flags. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @Babyboo  I think you said it best…”Never hurts to better your relationship”!!!

    @Jaylii Yep, getting everything out in the open to an unbiased person should help you feel better and give you better perspectives on things and help you communicate better. I think it sounds great!!

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