(Closed) Have you ever had a falling out with a bridesmaid/close friend?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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crisy003:  Sadly yes- at a wedding in fact.  Best friends since childhood, got ready together on the day of a mutual best friends wedding.. all was well.  Late night after probably a few too many drinks on her end, things got weird, and then she suddenly had ALL kinds of things to say about me, my character- way too many surprising and hurtful things.  I didn’t understand, I still don’t- it really was awful.  Bottom line was she just was done ‘trying too hard” to be my friend, and accused me of doing things that were so far from the truth it sickes me to think she even thought that of me.  We have many mutual friends so things were very weird for a while, but it’s been nearly 2 years- no contact at all.  This all happened when I was navigating through a tough new challenge in my life, and knowing people had my back was really important to me.  We are both getting married soon, and will not be going to each others weddings.  She invited people that at one point, she did the same thing to them as she did to me…wrote them off with no official reason, out of the blue… kind of a burn.  It’s sad, and even now, when I’m ‘over it’ I get upset but I think sometimes it just happens.  People aren’t meant to be friends forever.  More importantly, I have people in my life who mean the world to me, so I focus on and am grateful for them.  And honestly, I don’t think I would want to be friends with anyone who treated me the way she did.  I’m sure we will run into each other at some point, and I’m sure it will be awkward, but it is what it is.  It seems awful now, but focus on the good people in your life- they will definitely help you through. 

Post # 18
Member
856 posts
Busy bee

Dont try to stress about it to much girl. You should read this the ” A Reason A Season or a Life Time” poem. After discovering this, its makes sense, and made me feel better about loss of friendships. I have had the loss of two friendships in the last couple years. I guess loss isnt a good word cause we are still friends, but no twhat we used to be. And thats ok.

Post # 19
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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crisy003:  Yuck to both of those chicks… You will not regret your decision, you have got to know that. These kinds of individuals are not worth the seconds that we spend thinking about them. I have pondered over the situation (I do this sometimes when people have done some ridiculous things) and then I move on. You are blessed to have a Fiance that has supported you through this madness. Your wedding will be lovely, and you will be surrounded by people who love you and are genuinely happy to be a part of your day. 

It is crystal clear that your former friend wants what you have and is desperate to find a fake version of it no matter the cost. You don’t want to be a part of the process when that nightmare plays out. There would be too many pieces of her broken life to pick up; you do not need that heavy burden. Good luck with everything!

Post # 21
Member
15471 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

crisy003:  Yup, I had a falling out with 2 people I considered very close.  One was a friend I’d known since kindergarten.  We were very close, hung out like every weekend… until I was in the midst of a break up with my friend bf senior year in high school.  Apparently she disagreed with me and the reason for the break up… and then she went on to date him and that was just the end of that.  I moved on pretty quickly from that.  He WAS a total asshole and I was starting college and making a new life/friends.  I just felt sorry for her after knowing how he was to me.

The other was a college friend, a good friend of my college bf who I became close to as well.  Then we met some other people, and she just totally changed her tune and was so fake to these new people and I just got more and more annoyed around her.  I remember the last time I talked to her she was going on a trip, and we were still friendly.  But we hugged and I wished her a good trip, then we just never contacted each other when she came back 2 weeks later and that was the end of that.  We still saw each other since we were in the same circle, but didn’t really talk to or acknowledge each other.  It was odd, but I was fine with it cause I couldn’t stand her anymore anyways.  A little while later, I broke up with that bf (after 7 years, so about 6 years of friendship with this girl), and basically that entire circle (which sided with him, most of whom I wasn’t that close to anyways though).  I moved on and made new friends and met my now DH.  I have no issues with how anything went down and am totally happy with my life as it is now.

 

Post # 22
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve unfortuntaly had a falling out during college with one of my best high school friends (we are no longer in contact) and again with a good college friend (we are now facebook friends but don’t really talk). Looking back I might have tried to remedy the situations a bit more (these all happened in my late teens/early 20s). However, if you are no longer getting what you need to out of the friendship than it is not in your best interest to continue putting the time and effort in to it. To cope I really just turned to other friends and even got their opinion/insight on my behavior to see if I somehow contributed to the problem.

Post # 24
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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crisy003:  I hope things get better and work out for you. Things happen for a reason. I’m no longer friend with my BFF because of petty things and I honestly feel we’re both at fault but after soem of the things she said and her lack of trust in me I felt our friendship would no longer be the same. We didn’t talk for a full year and after that I actually talked to her about the situation and how it made me feel we aren’t close but I am inviting her to the wedding. Also last week I just kick an usher (my godsister) out the wedding. It was a petty disagreement between her and my Fiance and I ripped a new hole into both for being childish she got mad at me and I told her I won’t apologise because both were being silly and if I’m not going to tell Fiance sorry because when he calmed down realised how tupid the situation was was in agreement with me but she felt I didn’t have her back. With 2 months to go for my wedding and the stress of moving, the wedding, getting ready for school, and the overflow of work with most of my coworkers onvacation I had enough and told her if she is goign to be petty then its best for her not to be involved. Honestly I never 100% wanted her but did it for my godmother who I love ..and since another daughter is still an usher I felt comfortable in my choice. Weddings bring out the worst in people sometimes and I’m at the point were I want to fuly enjoy my last 2 months as a engaged woman. I hope the best and weddings are stressful but just remember you’re going to be marrying the love of your life soon and only those that are truly happy for you deserve to stand beside you.

Post # 25
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I’m currently in that situation unfortunately with my Maid/Matron of Honor and I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor. I dislike her fiance and she and her family have been very disrespectful to me through this whole process. The wedding is in two weeks and she’s ignoring any advance I make to communicate. So that’s great.

 

If you don’t think you are prepared to salvage your friendship currently, don’t do it. Not just for the wedding. Especially if you are still hurting from things she’s done to you. I had a friend that i hoped would always be my bridesmaid, I actually imagined her as Maid/Matron of Honor. We had a falling out, a big hurtful one, when we were 17. I tried to salvage that friendship at that point, but there was no fixing it. Now, 6 years later we’ve begun talking again. Things are on better terms. If it’s meant to work out, it will. But if you are still hurt and not ready to move on, or not too kean on being her friend anyway there is no sense in making yourself. Good luck <3

Post # 26
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Casa Feliz

I sure did. Despite being warned how unbearable she was by everyone else, we became pretty good friends (well, I was the good friend – she, not so much). She was present at the proposal, so out of impulse I asked her to be my bridesmaid right then and there. Bad decision. Not that I thought it through beforehand…you probably know how the rest of the story goes. Yep, we had a falling out and I’m not looking back. It’s actually quite refreshing not having her (and her negativity) in my life. Now the only friends that are standing up with me on my wedding day are the ones who have been my true friends for years.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by lumosplease.
Post # 27
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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crisy003:  I can’t lie… It takes time to get over any relationship that has lasted for years, and this includes friendships… You will eventually feel totally normally not dealing with her anymore. You need to mourn the loss, and in time your wound will heal. Try to think of all the amazing friends and family that you do have, and enjoy planning your wedding!!! It will all work out for you!

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