Post # 1
I’m starting to clam up every time someone asks me about what my wedding will be like. For the past several months I’ve been sharing with some friends or friends of friends when they ask, only to hear “youre spending too much money” or “oh, typical wedding.. boring.”
I have been told that if I dont have my wedding on a boat, in a barn, etc that it’s just another boring wedding because it’s in a banquet hall. When people ask me my per plate cost (which I will now stop telling) they criticize me on it being too much! If I were to say a low number I’m sure they would criticize too. Someone even suggested my ring has a conflict diamond because it’s “too big”.. it’s 1 carat!! I felt horrible!
Why must people hate so much before they have even attended my wedding. Are they going to sit there the night of and criticize everything too?
Has anyone gone through this before?
Post # 3
I would get new friends…..It’s your day, who cares what people think. I have choosen to aviod sharing as many details as possible with anyone exept my fiance and my parents (who are paying for it). Don’t let people get you down!
Post # 4
Um, some of those questions (how much the plate costs) are way out of line for anyone to ask, unless they’re paying for it. Your wedding will be fantastic, regardless if you spend $10 or $10million, because it’s YOURS, and it’s the day you get to pledge your love to your best friend.
Post # 5
I actually feel more criticized by potential vendors than anyone else for some reason. I am so sick of hearing “nobody does that” or “everyone does it this way”. I don’t care! Argh! At the end of the day it’s your wedding, so who cares what anyone else really thinks. It does suck though when people berate your choices!
Post # 7
It is just unbelievably gauche that anyone would ask cost per plate or what your budget was, unless they were contributing financially to the event or looking for vendor recommendations themselves. The fact that multiple people have asked you suggests that someone in your circle of friends is making a thing out of it behind your back. If anyone is rude enough to ask you again, I would stick to “We’re spending what we’re able to afford, and we think it’s going to be a great time.” If someone is rude enough to push you (!!), then a frostier, “I’m sorry, I don’t like to talk about money with friends” should do it. Your wedding is going to be awesome because it’s you and the people you love. And I would think twice about dropping any of the aforementioned money on inviting haters.
Post # 8
Weddings have an innate ability to bring out the worst in people. I’d sweetly say, “Well, if it sounds so dull to you, of course you’re under no obligation to attend!” accompanied by a patronizing smile.
Be confident in the wedding you want and don’t let the haters get you down. You wedding is not a vehicle to entertain your friends, it’s an opportunity for them to share in a very personal commitment you’re making, and if they don’t appreciate that, well then that tells you what kind of “friends” they are!
Post # 9
oh my goodness. you need new friends! I NEVER had anyone say ANYTHING like that!
Post # 10
@linguo42: Thats a good one! I love that line.
Someone told me my wedding sounded gothic. Uhh what! Im wearing ivory, have red roses and my Bms are wearing black dresses….so that sounds gothic? Um ok?
Post # 11
@80sbee: Believe me, honey, you’re going to get this from everywhere. People will HAVE to inject little comments and you have to find a way to ignore them.
My middle sister said that I’m having an “unwedding” because it’s during the day and there isn’t any dancing (she got married on a yacht in Boston and promptly divorced a few years later). My eldest sister said that, for all of the lack of formality, we should just go to City Hall. SERIOUSLY? These are my sisters who I am extremely close to!
Post # 12
Are these friends or friends of friends single? I’m the kind of snark who would shoot back something like “it’s pretty difficult to pull a wedding together to suit everyone – but I forgive you for not understanding the situation because no one’s proposed to you” if they were.
Post # 13
@80sbee: The short answer, yes. Some people just enjoy the art of criticizing. It is what it is. Thankfully your wedding is for you and your Fiance and it isn’t up to the peanut gallery to make the final decisions.
We are planning an amazing wedding and some of my FI’s family have criticized how much we are spending (they are making assumptions we have remained very tight lipped about money). My family knows me and knows that I like the finer things so they aren’t surprised at all. Does it bother me a bit? Yes. But I am going to do what I want to do and again thankfully it isn’t up to them.
Post # 14
@80sbee: I honestly think that some people simply don’t realize what or how they are saying things and that it is offensive to you. I have a similar situation with a girl at work. She had a very low key elopement ceremoony which is perfectly fine and fitting for her personality. But as far as my taste goes I am SOO excited to be planning the big wedding of my dreams, yet any time the topic comes up at work she always needs to put in her rude, “Oh I am so glad I never did that” comments. It is extremely frustrating, but at the end of the day it’s not her wedding, or anyone else who seems to have an issue with it. So just be happy about your day and do what YOU want to do, who cares! They are probably just a little jealous anyways 🙂
Post # 15
GOSH!!!! HOW FREAKING RUDE. That would really piss me off….how do people find it okay to criticize someone elses ideas, especially something as important as their wedding? WTF. I’d tell them to go kick rocks. And they def sound jealous..ew
Post # 16
I generally don’t indulge too much about what the wedidng will be like…people will always have opinions and you will never make everyone happy, unfortunately!