Post # 1
I saw this in someone else’s thread and it caught my eye. Fiance and I are getting married 2 years, almost to the day, after we met and started dating.
Have you ever heard of this term, or of a couple’s relationship hitting some kind of “slump” or transition at or around the 2-year mark of their relationship?
Although I’ve dated lots of people before I met Fiance, my longest relationsihp before him was only a year. And he had never dated anyone seriously, aside from one girl in college, before me. So it makes me wonder.
Post # 3
I posted on the first thread you started…
Post # 4
I have experienced the two year slump and seen most of my friends go through it too!
Every couple is different but at some time after the 1.5 year mark things change a bit. People in a relationship stop being on best behaviour mode and start becoming more selfish again (people really want to please their partner in the first year and a bit)
The wedding being at your 2 year mark might post-pone this period for a bit but it is a natural progression of a relationship. People settle into their ways and get comfortable. They know their partner loves them and they start to taking advantage of one another a bit.
This is an important time in a relationship I think because it helps you figure out how you are going to deal with these issues through out your marriage. This is when you really have to start making compromises for one another.
Don’t worry this period will happen eventually (if it hasn’t already happened) but you will get through it and it will make your relationship stronger!
Post # 5
Read “the 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It’s all about life after the two year slump and keeping the love alive. It was a really good book for us. We went through the slump and actually broke up for a little while. We’re in great shape now, but we just started reading it anyway. It’s good for healthy relationships or those in trouble.
Post # 6
I think we’re unusual in that things just keep getting better for us! But… that might also be the function of a very. slow. start. 🙂 I honestly don’t think I ever really “knew” Fiance until after the year mark… but it was fine because we were both just having fun or whatever. Somewhere around the 2 year mark was when i finally figured out holy cow i’m going to marry this guy!
Post # 7
i never heard of the “two year slump” before. tomorrow is Fiance and my three year anniversary and i wouldn’t say we’ve ever had a slump. I think you get out of relationships what you put into them, so if you continue to communicate and appreciate each other i don’t see why you should hit a slump at two years, ten years, or any time.
Post # 8
I’ve never heard of this. But it makes sense. That’s when the novelty starts to wear off, and things take more effort. We hit our slump at the 3rd year. So I think the ‘slump’ doesn’t necessarily happen at 2 years, but it definitely seems to happen to everyone. At least the people I know. Its actually not always a horrible thing to go through though, its not automatically a death sentence. It just means you’re gonna have to start focusing more on what needs to happen to make it continue to work.
Post # 9
We’ve never experience a 2 year slump and we have been together for many years. However, our relationship does go through regular cycles of ups and downs. So therefore, we regularly put some extra time and attention into our relationship to get it through the low times.
My pastor told us once that we should put as much work and effort into maintaining our relationships as we do with our cars. Cars need regular maintenance, time, money, and attention to stay running, and a marriage is no different.
Post # 10
We’re also getting married on our 2 year anniversary and every time we say that we make big scared eyes at each other – like “are we crazy?!”
I’d imagine the excitement of getting married would kind of postpone that type of thing. But then again we live together so we’re already “comfortable” around each other – so maybe we missed it.
Post # 11
i’ve heard and experienced it first hand. it seems to be the point at which it makes or breaks a couple. Fiance is the only relationship of mine that has pushed through it. FutureMrsMartin nailed it on the head, I think, in saying that your wedding may push it off for you. I’ve also read “The 5 love languages” and it’s a great tool for relationships!
Post # 12
TwinkleToes, if I followed that advice, my relationship would be in trouble, because my poor car is neglected!
camrie, same with us; we moved in together about a year after we started dating, and are getting married almost exactly a year after that.
Post # 13
I have had this at three years, with my relationships. I am at that point right now, in a marriage though. Cause we got married at three years. I still think it was a bit early to get married at that time, we should of at 4 years or 5. But making a baby was what we wanted. Three years and boredom kicks in for me, we know them and their stories. They bad habits drive me crazy.
Post # 14
I’m not sure about the exact timing, but yes we went thru it! it all ended well. i think if you always practice good communication and don’t let your Fiance feel like you are goign to change him – you want to marry him for who he is – that it’ll be just fine.
Post # 15
nature_girl: Do people think you’re crazy to get married so early on? We can’t quite believe it ourselves when we think about it – but for some reason it’s just right for us (we got engaged 13 mos after we met, and I moved in later in the month).
Post # 16
Yup. Around 1.5 years we went through about a month where we just were NOT on the same page about anything. There were a lot of factors that contributed, but the root of all of them was we just had to actually commit to each other, including all the little annoying habits and differences of opinion.
Keep pushing through, though. I think every couple hits patches like this at some point, and commitment means you work through ’em and move on!! 🙂