Post # 1
I saw this in someone else’s thread and it caught my eye. Fiance and I are getting married 2 years, almost to the day, after we met and started dating.
Have you ever heard of this term, or of a couple’s relationship hitting some kind of “slump” or transition at or around the 2-year mark of their relationship?
Although I’ve dated lots of people before I met Fiance, my longest relationsihp before him was only a year. And he had never dated anyone seriously, aside from one girl in college, before me. So it makes me wonder.
Post # 3
I have never heard of that. Between years 2 and 3.5 for us we moved in together, bought a car, got engaged, bought a house, and got a dog. Definitely no slump here!! 🙂
Post # 4
Oh Dear Lord, I hope not. My Fiance and I will have been dating like 2 years and a month when we tie the knot! (And one year was always my longest relationship “marker” in the past (THAT was usually to the day) as well!) I am confident neither you or I will hit this “slump” at our two year marks. I’ve never heard of it before and I just don’t see it being a problem; there’s too much joy around wedding time for us to possibly be hitting a bad patch… But hey, if we’ve manage to avoid this so-called slump by getting married and making it fun, GO US! LOL.
Post # 5
I’ve never heard of it, but I guess it makes sense b/c things aren’t as new anymore. I think this might be the point in the average relationship where the lust really dies down, and you know you are in love but don’t really have that floating-on-air, butterflies-in-stomach feeling anymore.
But all relationships are different. I think relationships definitely go through this type of transition at some point, but I think when it happens varies depending on how fast/slow you took things.
Post # 6
Everybody I know has gone through a 2-year slump. I mean, at some point, EVERY relationship goes through a transition, and 2 years may have been the “magic number” for all of my friends and I because we were still in college. 2 years is that “do i stay with him? do we move together? what’s going on” sort of phase versus a couple who live near each other already. At least in my college town, there is no such thing as a “local” job. You have to move.
I’m glad i went through this phase before we got engaged though, because otherwise the doubts would weigh on my mind.
Post # 7
I have experienced the two year slump and seen most of my friends go through it too!
Every couple is different but at some time after the 1.5 year mark things change a bit. People in a relationship stop being on best behaviour mode and start becoming more selfish again (people really want to please their partner in the first year and a bit)
The wedding being at your 2 year mark might post-pone this period for a bit but it is a natural progression of a relationship. People settle into their ways and get comfortable. They know their partner loves them and they start to taking advantage of one another a bit.
This is an important time in a relationship I think because it helps you figure out how you are going to deal with these issues through out your marriage. This is when you really have to start making compromises for one another.
Don’t worry this period will happen eventually (if it hasn’t already happened) but you will get through it and it will make your relationship stronger!
EDIT: I posted on both of the threads you started!
Post # 8
Hmm, I’ve never heard of the 2-year slump, but I agree with ejs that everyone goes through some sort of slump at some point. At 2 years, we had just gotten engaged, so thinks were flying all over the place and we were just in a crazy time, so I don’t think that was it. I think it might have been right after we were married…maybe 4 or 5 months after. We were just getting used to having time to ourselves again, and my husband started up school. I was sick of him going to school at that point, and I think that was one of our hardest times. I don’t know why it was then, but we made it through and now we’re doing great!
I think everyone needs to go through that at some point. It tests your relationship and makes sure you can handle the toughness of things and still make it last.
Post # 9
I know that in both of my long term relationships (my husband and the one ex that I was with for a long period) that we had a transitional period from that whole “falling-in-love, lovey-dovey, everyone is on best behavior,” beginning period of a relationship to the “real love” period. I think that the author discusses it in the book “The Five Languages of Love” (if you haven’t read it, please do, it is amazing!) and I believe he says that the lovey dovey period can last anywhere from a month to two years. Could this be what you mean by slump?
For me when it happened with my ex, we came down off the “high” of falling in love after about a year and tried to make it work and realized we weren’t right for one another and were always working to get a feeling of love back into our relationship. With my husband, real life hit us pretty hard right away in the beginning so after about 3 months we were hitting that transitional period but we came through and realized that we were great together.
I don’t think that you have anything to worry about tho and I’m sure that you have probably already experienced some sort of transitional period in 2 years together.
Post # 10
The “two year slump” can happen at any time, but it always, inevitably happens. It signifies the turning point in your relationship where you have gotten past the giddiness of new love and have reached a level of comfort. What you both do with that level of comfort is up to you. It can be a positive turning point where you both continue to grow together while respecting each others space, or it can be your downfall if you only respect your own space. This is the transition that can be an important milestone in your relationship and one that will set the foundation for a successful marriage.
Post # 11
I havent heard of it before but my Fiance and I went through this around our 2 year mark, we felt a decline in our intimacy and since we knew so much about each other, there was no mystery between us anymore. Plus at that time, we had lived together, so it was quite an experience. I think it happens in marriages too…
Post # 12
There’s no such thing as universals in relationships. For example I always find talk about the giddy in love period baffling – I’ve heard about it often enough to know it exists for most people but Fiance and I didn’t hit anything that could be described that way till… the one year mark? Maybe at eight months? That’s when we got giddy. I dunno what that’s supposed to mean. There are all sorts of changes/slumps/transitions in relationships and every relationship is different, you know how the two of you feel best.
Post # 13
We have been together over 2 years now and definitely have not had a “slump” per se. Sex isn’t all that important to us, so if we go a month without neither of us feel any less loving towards the other person. We still cuddle, kiss, dance randomly, give each other massages, and generally act sweetly towards one another everyday.
Oh and when I say the sex thing, it definitely isn’t me not wanting it over him. We just both have a very similar drive which isn’t super active. When either of us “wants” it though, we just let the other person know and it is go time. It is more of a whenever the mood stricks us sort of thing and sometimes we are just too darn busy. We have never gone a day without tickles or kisses though. 🙂
Post # 14
I’ve hear of it. Been through it. Came out the other side ok. 🙂 Don’t stress. If you want some really god reading, we read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and it hit the nail on the head for us. It’s a good book for love that’s in trouble or just for keeping a good relationship where it is. I don’t mean to sound like an advertisement, but it’s a seriously good book 😛