Post # 1
My moms friends used to tell me when my husband and I were engaged that the first year of marriage was the hardest and they never thought they would make it through the first year. One woman told me she considered not staying married to her husband through the first year they were married because they fought all the time. My husband and I havent had this problem and we’ve been married for 9 months, in fact we fight alot less now that we’re married. But we never fought a whole heck of alot to begin with. We also lived together before we got married and havent struggled financially much because my husband graduated college and got a good job right about the time we got married. (thank the good lord for that) : )
SO HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS HAPPENING?
Post # 3
Nope. I haven’t. DH and I are a couple weeks shy of our first Anniversary. = )
Post # 4
I’ve heard that. I think it probably is more common for couples who have more to adjust to – like, if they’ve never lived with each other or even a roommate or whatnot. They have to adjust to considering someone else in every aspect around the house.
Post # 5
If this is the worst it is ever going to be – YES – life is going to be AWESOME! YEAH!
No, I have not heard that before, but fingers crossed it is true! XXXXXXXX
Post # 6
I have heard that, but not true for us either. Just celebrated 6 months. In our first 6 months we moved to another part of the state & are running a business together. It’s been great. We did live together prior to marriage so like someone else said that may have something to do with it.
Post # 7
hmmmm i think it depends on the situation. dh and i fight less now because i am less stressed (no wedding planning, no school :)) our first few months have been a breeze (compared to dating anyways) 🙂
Post # 8
i was told that the first year is the hardest and for someone like me who didnt live with my husband before we married i found the most difficult part was learning it was about taking him into consideration and not asking permission because there were times i felt like i had lost some independance
Post # 9
I have heard that too – and know of people who separated a year after getting married and subsequently divorced – but its been pretty easy for us. We didn’t live together before getting married, but we love it and are having so much fun. Thinking about all these “grown up” things like houses, starting up DH’s business and babies is overwhelming at times, but we’ve never thought it was something we couldn’t get through.
Post # 10
Yeah I have heard that and I think its a load of dog poo poo. Because marriage is what “YOU” make of it. Its like people saying all women are crazy or all men are dogs… or all children are horrible. People have their opinions and frankly I wish they kept them to themselves sometimes.
YOU and YOUR HUSBAND make your marriage. Just because some people have a difficult time doesn’t mean you have to. Maybe they played into someone else telling them the same thing years ago… No, change the mold and have an excellant 1st year of marriage!!!!
Post # 11
Oh and the woman that really tried to drive this point home to me doesnt have that great of a marriage anyway. he drinks, shes difficult, and I saw him hit her in front of her whole family and friends at a super bowl party one time! Oh he also has a child he has nothing to do with and has denied it since before birth. What kinda guy is that? Just thought id give a little tid bit of info there.
Also it is so true that you and your husband make the marriage. My grandmother once told me that when you fall in love with someone there is nothing that do you under if you both do what your supposed to do. Her and my grandfather have been married for 48 years.
Post # 12
I’ve heard it from some friends, but each relationship has it’s own baggage and issues.
Fiance and I have lived together for 2 years. When we first moved in together it was hard for a while, so I can imagine couples who have not lived together before marriage will deal with those issues, but I don’t think that’s exclusive to marriage itself.
Post # 13
I’ve heard it and for us it’s been true(ish)! We were together for 9 years on the day we got married and had lived together for over 5 of them so we were not the typical couple. I found that for me personally there was a certain finality to adjust to as well as a more intricate merging of lives. We’d lived with separate checking/savings accounts and we chose to merge everything after marriage. This meant we suddenly had to check in with each other if we were buying something big, and while it hasn’t been an issue, we both notice it.
Before getting married, there was always an “out” in the back of your mind that if your partner Reeeeeeaaaaaally ticked you off you could leave/tell them to leave. After getting married, that is gone and some of the stuff that hadn’t bothered me before started to bother me. Think “I have to live with his xyz (balled up dirty socks/wet towel on the wood floor/laziness) for the rest of my life???”. It’s certainly not the hardest period in our relationship but it has been much more of an adjustment than I we expected.
Post # 14
I can’t imagine that our first year could be awful…maybe it depends on the level of adjustment that needs to be made, and also how well the couple knows one another?
Losing ones job or fertility issues could contribute to a bad first year- but that is more about situational reasons…
Post # 15
I’ve heard that as well but I don’t know where it comes from. Our first year of marriage was probably the best year of entire relationship so far! It was easy to me 🙂
Post # 16
I was just chatting with some of my friends who are recently married and all 3 told me their first years were wonderful!