Have you ever lived somewhere long term for you S.O.'s job that you don't like?

posted 3 years ago in Home
Post # 16
38 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband got a job offer last year as he was wrapping up his PhD and we moved from a college town in Colorado that is always highly ranked in national lists of great places to live (I also grew up in Colorado, a different town though) to a town of 3000 people in the middle of Nebraska that was literally a 30 minute drive to a Wal-mart or a 45 minute drive in the other direction to a Starbucks. We knew that it would be a temporary move and we would be there 6-18 months for him to be in a training program and then we would relocate again when he got placed in a territory for his company. I HATED it there! I went in very open minded and tried to make the best of it. There were very few job opportunities, so I took a part-time job at the Chamber of Commerce that paid minimum wage because I thought it would be a great way to meet people and get to know about the town. I was there for a month before the only other employee quit (there was a lot of drama with the office that I didn’t know about until a few weeks in of working there) and I suddenly was left on my own trying to figure out the politics of a small town where everyone else had known each other their whole lives. I tried to suck it up for about another month before I realized that it was not worth the stress I was putting myself through to come home and bawl to my husband every night about a stupid job making minimum wage when I could just be supporting him during the training program that was actually furthering his career. I quit and things were much better for the rest of the time we were there, but we never made any friends or really found anything that we enjoyed doing there. The only reason it was bearable was because we knew it was temporary.


Luckily my husband got a new position after he had been there only 6 months so we packed up and moved across the country to Delaware. We decided to start trying for a family and I was about 3 months pregnant when we moved again, so I have mostly just been extensively nesting since we arrived here. I miss Colorado terribly, but after our horrible stint in Nebraska, Delaware is a dream. We are close to beaches and within a few hours drive from lots of major cities. We have been here about 6 months and are still trying to meet people. My husband works from home and travels through his territory, so he doesn’t really have coworkers. I tried to find prenatal groups and go to classes, but there aren’t many opportunities here for that. There are lots of activities that I have found to do with a baby though so I am honestly just waiting on his arrival (I’m 38 weeks now) so I can start going to breastfeeding support groups, new mom workout classes, story times, etc. and to start meeting other moms. And hopefully they will have awesome husbands and we will make a group of friends that way. 


We have had several friends who moved away for jobs in the past 3 or 4 years and they all say that it took them about a year to a year and a half to feel like they found a good rhythm in their new town and feel like they had some good new friends. I’m hoping we get there! Good luck to you! 

Post # 17
2126 posts
Buzzing bee

I lived in Christchurch, New Zealand for 4 years while my fiancé (boyfriend at the time) was training. I hated every minute of living in that horrid city, and was SO happy when we left. Honestly, I wouldn’t do it again.

Post # 18
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

soon2bmrsruiz :  my FH got his postdoc at Stanford and I moved up to the bay to be with him from so-cal, too!


OP- It took me 2 years to feel settled and make friends and I am quite an outgoing gregarious person. My FH got a tenure track position at another university in the area so we relocated again. It took another year here to get in my groove. 

Finally, after three years in our current place and 6.5 years away from my family and friends at home, I am feeling like I have people and friends nearby. But I happen to love the area in terms of nature and weather so it’s been an easy choice. We are now purchasing a home. I hope we get to stay here forever. 

I hope it turns around for you, Bee!

Post # 20
43 posts
  • Wedding: July 2018

soon2bmrsruiz :  I moved to the Bay area too last year for my fiance’s job. We’re in Monterey Bay. Stanfords a gorgeous area, but I know what you mean. I’m having a heck of a time meeting ppl my age here.

Post # 21
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City, State

floandcat :  Have you tried Meetup? I’ve gone to a couple of meetup’s and its been pretty good. But definitely hard to make friends who you see on a regular basis!

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