(Closed) Have you ever moved and regretted it?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

I moved 1700 miles to live with my then-fiancé (now husband). I am still adjusting but I miss home every day. I do regret moving here but I don’t regret being able to spend all that time with my fiancé or marrying him – that was the best decision of my life! It’s just a culture shock I guess, even though I attended college the next state over. I’m a New England girl living in the South, too. Different people, food, way of life, priorities, politics, etc. I am willing to stick it out but am constantly homesick. 

Post # 18
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

wifetobee63:  After university, my Darling Husband and I moved about 5 hours south (back to my hometown near the GA/FL line), and we constantly dream of leaving and going back to where we lived during school. We’ve been here almost a year and while we still dream up living farther north again, it’s getting better. We’ve been trying to focus on the good things about being here…..DH’s amazing job opportunities…being near my family. We’re under contract on a townhouse right now, so it can’t be too bad I guess! We just dream of being in a place where we get to experience all 4 seasons and be outdoors as much as possible. We try to counteract this with planning lots of weekend travel opportunities.

Post # 19
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

wifetobee63:  We are in a similar situation–my fiance and I moved to a new city to try out “city life” and we hate it. In the beginning, it was especially hard because I didn’t know anyone when we moved except my fiance’s extended family, who I had also just met. It was overwhelming and tiring and I missed my friends. Over time I made new friends but I still missed living the quieter life we did in Asheville, where we used to live–not to mention the lower cost of living! We decided that we will be moving back to Asheville in June so that we can have the life that we feel works best for us–living in a house, having a backyard, nature all around us, paying much less for a better quality of life. We were initially sort of embarrassed to move back as it felt like defeat, but now we look at it like this: We made a huge change, stuck it out for a few years, and are following what makes us happy now. 

Post # 20
Member
11955 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

wifetobee63:  I’ve moved across country several times and up and down. Some places are easier to adjust to than others.

One thing I discovered is you never really fit in naturally to a new culture the way you do in your home state. People are different, they mean different things by what they say. The food is different, the grocery stores are different.

I think that longing for home is real, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve made a mistake. Maybe you need to spend summers in NJ or just a few weeks every year. You could rent a house for a month, visit and hang with your friends/family. 

Post # 21
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

So a couple of thoughts:  first, I would say that the “happiest place on Earth” may be geographically in the south, but it is not culturally southern.  I grew up there (northern suburbs / Seminole County), and I hated it. There is no way in hell I would move back.  I only go back now to visit my family; my parents are still in Orlando, but my sisters are in Panama City and Bradenton, both of which are better than Orlando, but I still wouldn’t want to live in either.  

When I was 20 I moved from O-town to Morgantown, WV, which was a major culture shock, to say the least.  And it took probably a full year to adjust.  But once I did adjust, I absolutely loved it.  And I loved going to Pittsburgh, which is just an hour up the road.  I would return to Morgantown or Pittsburgh in a heartbeat if my Fiance were willing (and he’s not – lol).  

From Morgantown I moved to Maryland, where I lived for 4 years.  I didn’t like it either, and after 4 years I had to leave because I knew I would never be happy there.  I do think, however, that I would have liked living in nearby DC, but I was a single mother at the time and 1. couldn’t afford it and 2. I woudn’t have put my daughter in those schools (and I obviously couldn’t afford private school either).

In 2001 I moved from MD to NC, and I love it here.  I’ve lived in Raleigh, Charlotte, and now I’m outside Boone, and all three are great.  

No matter where I’ve moved, though, it’s probably taken me a full year to adjust, make friends, and get comfortable living there.  Maybe give it some more time?

Post # 22
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee

wifetobee63:  Yes, I have regretted a move, and I have moved MANY times. Darling Husband and I moved from Boston to Austin and it wasn’t a good decision. The cost of living was lower (good) but our pay ended up being wayyyyy lower too. We didn’t love the culture as much as we thought we would, the city felt so tiny and kind of conservative to us, and we just hadn’t planned the move very well. After 6 months we moved back to the Northeast. The thing is, Darling Husband and I have moved many other times across the country (including west coast, deep south, midwest, northeast, etc.) and not felt this way. Austin just wansn’t a good fit for us at that particular time.

It sounds like maybe (sorry if I’m assuming) you’ve never lived anywhere other than your home town? I grew up moving a lot, so did Darling Husband, so I can’t imagine how hard it must be to adjust to a move after decades living in the same place. For me, I usually start to feel at home in a new city around 10 months in, but I’ve never lived anywhere for more than 5 years. It might simply take longer for you to adjust because you’re so used to the one place you’ve always known as home. 

I honestly don’t feel at “home” anywhere because I’ve had such a varied experience, but I now for people who are born and raised somewhere that whole “home” feeling is very strong. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  mrshomemaker.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  mrshomemaker.
Post # 23
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

futuremrsmencher:  Yikes – if I lived in Asheville, I would NEVER leave!  What were you thinking???  🙂  Did you move to Charlotte, or some other, bigger, city?

Post # 24
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

MelissainNC:  haha I know!!!! What a foolish mistake. We moved to the Bay Area–Oakland specifically. Cannot wait to be back in Asheville!

Post # 25
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

wifetobee63:  Hi… So I moved from CT to right near the happiest place on earth also. I’ve been here almost 2 years now. I moved with my fiance for me to go to nursing school. I always wanted to move here and have spent a lot of time here with family. School was a 12 month program and it kept me occupied and I had friends at school. Once school was over last July and I started working and I drifted apart from school friends (who went back to their real friends) I felt so alone. I was miserable. My fiance and I are getting married this June and it became my obsession to move back home before the wedding, including paying absurd amounts of money to break our lease. I nagged my fiance daily and showed him houses, apartments, and jobs back at home. I missed my family so much. He was just not feeling it. When we moved here, he finally got a job that he likes and is better than the jobs he’s had back up north. We went through a couple of pretty miserable months with me obsessing about moving back and it was just because I had my mind made up that I couldn’t be happy here. 

Fast forward to now and I feel so much differently. Originally, when I moved, everyone said that it would take around a year to settle in and that you should give it at least that much time before you decide to change your mind. I think in my situation it took longer because I was immersed in nursing school and not in the real world. Now that I am working, I have made such great friends. It took about 6 months at work to settle in, but now that I have, I feel so much better. While I miss New England like crazy and will probably move back eventually, I am happy here right now. 

I guess my advise is to keep an open mind. Try not to decide that you are unhappy here. There is a lot to do in Orlando and the surrounding areas. Enjoy it. You are living it. You and your family moved here for a reason!  xo

Sorry if this post seems incoherent I just woke up from working night shift

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